Read Online Pretty Hate (New Adult Novel) by Ava Ayers - Free Book Online Page A

the clear water every time I closed my eyes. I read The Stranger four times and quoted a line from the book and posted it on Facebook. He commented with a smiley face and I was over the moon.
    I Googled Brooklyn and Connecticut and Bali. I charted different routes throughout Europe and read all about the SOA while I watched SOA and thought of him.
    When I didn’t hear from him for another four days, I tried to push aside the old insecurities and need for validation. I was different, after all. I studied Tony Robbins videos and read Wayne Dyer books. And when I could sit on my hands no longer, I sent him a text to which he responded, nearly immediately, with: I miss you too and I was sated.
    Three days later, he sent me a text a four in the morning and asked me to come to Bali. I was too embarrassed to tell him I had no money. I finally felt the effects a nearly negative bank account has on the psyche when you have people in your life who dare to step outside their zip codes and you cannot. Everyone I knew previously was content. Their idea of crisis was not having enough money to go to the local bar, certainly not Bali. Certainly not with Nicolas Miles. I was frustrated and mopey. Ivory-Lou told me to get a job and I told him that I needed big money for my big dreams. His answer for me was to dream smaller.
    I responded to Nicolas’ text and said I wished more than anything that I could meet him, that I missed him so much I could think of nothing else, that I’d be on the first plane to Bali if I could get out of work. He did not respond.
    Stephanie was sick of hearing about him and even Rebel Love and the hookers had enough of Nicolas. Ivory-Lou still got on my ass, but it didn’t matter. I’d be gone from there soon, I told myself. I told Mazie Goodnight how much he reminded me of her and she said she couldn’t wait to meet him.
    And then, when I ran out of people to bore with stories of every cute thing Nicolas Miles did or my tantrums about how much I needed to go to Bali because I didn’t want him to forget about me, I went over to my mother’s and told her.
    “I thought you were gonna take a break from the boys?” she said as I sat at the dining room table sipping coffee with her and Merry-Bell.
    “When did I say that? I never said that.”
    “What about college, Beth? What about a job?” my mother said.
    I watched Merry-Bell as she tore loose-leaf paper into tiny scraps and piled them on the table.
    “I never said I wasn’t going to go to college or get a job. I’m just working on myself now...on my confidence. Nicolas will be back in no time. I really want this to work. He’s very different and I think-”
    “Merry-Bell, do not eat that paper!” my mother said.
    “I’m not,” she said as she chewed on a scrap, “I’m just wetting it.”
    She took a piece of paper out of her mouth and rolled it into a tiny ball. She placed it on the corner of the table with other paper balls she made.
    “What are you doing?” I said.
    “Ornaments for the beetle tree,” she said.
    “Why don’t you just make them out of clay?” I said.
    “Pumpkin pie, Beth, the beetles are allergic to clay!” Merry-Bell said and scoffed. “I’m gonna color them next. Wanna help?”
    “No, I’m okay. Anyway, Mother, Nicolas will be back soon and I really think I’m going to be going with him.”
    “With him, where?” she said.
    “Wherever he wants.”
    “Uh, no,” my mother said and rolled her eyes.
    “What do you mean, no ?”
    “You don’t even know this person. All of a sudden you think you’re in love? Here comes the head in the clouds bullshit you’re famous for, Beth. And we’re left to pick up the pieces from your misguided notions.”
    I stared at her as she took a long sip of her cocktail and shook her head.
    “You’re left to pick up the pieces?” I said and turned toward her.
    “That’s just what I said. You go from one loser to another and they all fuck you over, they all break your heart