the scourge of hair dryers and weâd never have to deal with the fucksticks in the Middle East again.
FOSSIL FUELS AND ALTERNATIVE ENERGY
Hereâs what pisses me off about the constant âdebateâ we have in this country about natural gas and fracking. We all agree that we donât want to pour our collective cash into the giant ashtray that is the Middle East, correct? Iâm pretty sure weâre all on the same page that dumping all of our money in the hands of people so they can have Beyoncé perform a private concert for their son and think itâs a great idea to throw acid in the face of twelve-year-old girls for having the audacity to read isnât a great plan.
I understand that everyone on the left wants cars that run on good vibes, but the technology isnât there yet. Thatâs their beef with natural gas. They just donât like the internal combustion engine. They love the word ânatural,â but when you follow it with the word âgas,â theyâre out. I bet if it had been called ânatural fuelâ from the beginning and âfrackingâ didnât sound like something Darth Vader would do, thereâd be much less of an issue. But these lefties need to accept the reality that the internal combustion engine is here to stay, so take your life partnerâs dick out of your mouth and letâs talk about the best way to power those engines.
Iâm a car guy, so I know that engines can be converted easily to work off of natural gas. They perform exactly the same. In fact, if we switched to natural gas we could get rid of catalytic converters. Weâd not only save in gas, but weâd cut $500 from the manufacturing cost of each car and thousands in the disposal of the heavy metals contained in catalytic converters.
Why all the fear? Natural gas is the same stuff thatâs coming out of the stove in your apartment. Why not in your car? Thatâs the disconnect. My Prius-loving Los Angeleno friends conveniently forget that the batteries in those cars are being charged by a coal-fired electricity plant. Fracking isnât nearly as dangerous as coal mining. I know we all want a perfect, risk-free fuel, but you know what? Shit happens. Nothing can have a zero risk factor. Thereâs no such thing. So letâs just minimize the risk. One way to do that is to get our fuel from home, not from people who then use that money to buy gold toilets and fund terrorism.
Shouldnât we have learned this lesson in the seventies? I lived in California in 1973 during the OPEC embargo. I remember sitting in my momâs VW squareback waiting in rationing lines based on whether you had an odd- or even-numbered license plate. And this was when gas had skyrocketed to forty cents a gallon !
At that same time we had assholes like Martin Sheen chaining themselves to bulldozers with their âNo Nukesâ message. Like fracking, I think that was a nomenclature problem. âNuclearâ sounded scary. It was the same thing we were constantly being told about how the Russians were going to drop on us, so everyone got paranoid, conveniently forgetting that with nuclear power you can have something the size of a tennis ball powering an aircraft carrier the size of Cowboys Stadium, and uses more electricity, for years with no problems and zero pollution.
So because of all that sky-is-falling bullshit we continue to power our country with the black shit sucked from the ground underneath the worst people on the planet.
Except that we can actually get some of it from the second-worst place on the planetâAlaska.
Alaska seems like the most rough-and-tumble spot in the world. Everyone there seems to be running from something in the Lower 48, whether itâs the law, the tax man, or their ex. Alaskaâs where you go to forget your past, especially when you owe your past a shitload in child support. The state motto should be âLove fishing but
FOSSIL FUELS AND ALTERNATIVE ENERGY
Hereâs what pisses me off about the constant âdebateâ we have in this country about natural gas and fracking. We all agree that we donât want to pour our collective cash into the giant ashtray that is the Middle East, correct? Iâm pretty sure weâre all on the same page that dumping all of our money in the hands of people so they can have Beyoncé perform a private concert for their son and think itâs a great idea to throw acid in the face of twelve-year-old girls for having the audacity to read isnât a great plan.
I understand that everyone on the left wants cars that run on good vibes, but the technology isnât there yet. Thatâs their beef with natural gas. They just donât like the internal combustion engine. They love the word ânatural,â but when you follow it with the word âgas,â theyâre out. I bet if it had been called ânatural fuelâ from the beginning and âfrackingâ didnât sound like something Darth Vader would do, thereâd be much less of an issue. But these lefties need to accept the reality that the internal combustion engine is here to stay, so take your life partnerâs dick out of your mouth and letâs talk about the best way to power those engines.
Iâm a car guy, so I know that engines can be converted easily to work off of natural gas. They perform exactly the same. In fact, if we switched to natural gas we could get rid of catalytic converters. Weâd not only save in gas, but weâd cut $500 from the manufacturing cost of each car and thousands in the disposal of the heavy metals contained in catalytic converters.
Why all the fear? Natural gas is the same stuff thatâs coming out of the stove in your apartment. Why not in your car? Thatâs the disconnect. My Prius-loving Los Angeleno friends conveniently forget that the batteries in those cars are being charged by a coal-fired electricity plant. Fracking isnât nearly as dangerous as coal mining. I know we all want a perfect, risk-free fuel, but you know what? Shit happens. Nothing can have a zero risk factor. Thereâs no such thing. So letâs just minimize the risk. One way to do that is to get our fuel from home, not from people who then use that money to buy gold toilets and fund terrorism.
Shouldnât we have learned this lesson in the seventies? I lived in California in 1973 during the OPEC embargo. I remember sitting in my momâs VW squareback waiting in rationing lines based on whether you had an odd- or even-numbered license plate. And this was when gas had skyrocketed to forty cents a gallon !
At that same time we had assholes like Martin Sheen chaining themselves to bulldozers with their âNo Nukesâ message. Like fracking, I think that was a nomenclature problem. âNuclearâ sounded scary. It was the same thing we were constantly being told about how the Russians were going to drop on us, so everyone got paranoid, conveniently forgetting that with nuclear power you can have something the size of a tennis ball powering an aircraft carrier the size of Cowboys Stadium, and uses more electricity, for years with no problems and zero pollution.
So because of all that sky-is-falling bullshit we continue to power our country with the black shit sucked from the ground underneath the worst people on the planet.
Except that we can actually get some of it from the second-worst place on the planetâAlaska.
Alaska seems like the most rough-and-tumble spot in the world. Everyone there seems to be running from something in the Lower 48, whether itâs the law, the tax man, or their ex. Alaskaâs where you go to forget your past, especially when you owe your past a shitload in child support. The state motto should be âLove fishing but
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