enough for her to hear. "Remain as quiet as possible. Maybe it won’t notice us."
"Won't the sound of your peeing cause it to come get us?" she asked, making a very solid point.
"I can't stop!"
Footsteps and falling urine were the only sounds in my entire world. The steps were getting closer while the urine continued at a constant, seemingly thunderous volume.
"Get down," she said softly.
"No, don't move," I said in a regular voice, as calm as possible in such a situation. I could see the large cat, now. It was looking at me; ears back. It looked like it was about ready to pounce on me. I reached for the knife in my belt, but it was already too late for me, the cat was charging.
The beast sprung in my direction.
Surprisingly, it was Evelyn who took the shot.
The round hit my leg and I dropped like a worthless sack of potatoes. The big cat missed me by a mile. Evidently, he had a different target in mind. As it descended from its great leap, its front paws came in contact with the chest of a zombie that I had absolutely no knowledge about. The terror of knowing what was coming from one direction had blinded me from the rest of the world. I must have lost some of my touch.
Evelyn was frozen for a moment. When she saw that the animal had already found a meal, she ran over to me.
"Holy shit, I've never shot anyone before! Are you okay?"
"Are you sure you've never shot anyone before? Because you absolutely nailed that cougar," I laughed uncomfortably.
Being that my pants were already half down, I dropped them a little further to inspect my thigh. It was my lucky day. The round that Evelyn sent flying at me had just barely scraped off a little bit of the mean. The fact that it was an incendiary round meant that the wound mostly cauterized itself. I could smell burning flesh and hair as I examined the scratch. Some blood seeped out, but it really looked worse than it felt.
Carolina and Kyle ran up. Kyle had my pack on his back and MRE spaghetti sauce and a bewildered look on his face.
"Can you pass me the f-"
" HOLY SHIT ! IT’S A FUCKING LION RIGHT THERE!" shouted Kyle raising his rifle towards the big cat.
"Chill out, bro. He's already got a meal. I think they're as sick of these dead guys roaming around as we are."
"Are you sure about that, man?" he asked as his voice cracked.
"I'll go pet him right on his head if it'll make you feel better."
"Nah, it's okay, homie. But why the fuck did she shoot you instead of the lion? Were you tryi-"
"Please, just shut up, bro. Now, would you be so kind as to pass me the first aid kit from inside my bag?" I asked Kyle. "It's really not anywhere near as bad as it looks."
"That’s a relief, because that shit looks fucked up, man. Do you need any help?" he asked as he handed me the kit.
"Nah, just a little iodine . . . And a tightly wrapped bandage . . . And I'm all set. I think I might need someone to hold my rifle while I take it easy with a pistol, though." I inspected the weapon to make sure it was safe and passed my rifle to Carolina. Evelyn had dropped it and left the safety switch on fire when ran over to me.
After surveying the area, I found a stick that would make do as a crutch for at least a short while. I grabbed it and got to my feet without assistance from anyone other than my new crutch.
"So, is lunch ready?" I asked, heading back to our picnic area like nothing had ever happened. My leg was sore, but I did my best to maintain a straight face to keep anyone from fussing over me.
As I ate my Chili Mac MRE entrée, I got a couple of strange looks from Carolina. Then, "Are you sure you're okay to go on, sugar? If you're not, it’s fine if you take Evelyn home. I'll be just fine with Kyle."
The thought of being all alone with Evelyn in that white house again did excite me. Oh, man the things that I would like to do to her in there . . .
"And let Evelyn miss out on any potential family reunion? I think not." Damn, it really sucked to have to be a
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