everybody gets to experience.
Once we made our way to our picnic area, I gave another short speech. "Okay kids, if you have to use the restroom take a buddy. Two is one, one is none. Always bring at least one firearm with each group. Don't linger off in the distance for too long because this is our main breaking area. We'll break for an hour or so. That way you can nap or relax, or eat, or whatever the hell else you might feel like doing. Just try to enjoy yourselves until we step off again."
At this point, I had everyone ground whatever they were carrying.
Kyle chimed in, "Might I suggest that we do boy/girl buddy teams? I know that would never fly back in the day, but not everyone here is a rifleman," he said with Evelyn in mind.
"Unless either of you are uncomfortable with this I see no reason not to have boy/girl buddy teams." Silence. "Very well, it seems that we probably already know what the teams will be to ensure that everyone is comfortable. I'll be with Evelyn, and then it's you two. Simple enough? Let's go ahead and break."
"I have got to use the little girl’s room, would you mind?" Carolina said to Kyle.
"C’mon then, I’ll lead the way," he said.
A song popped into my head as I was digging through my backpack. I began to sing:
" I don't ask why,
I just fall into the meadow.
I close my eyes,
And I wait to die.
Yes I am a liar.
Yes I am a sinner.
Please forgive my broken soul ."
"That's hauntingly beautiful," said Evelyn. "With all that's happening, and being in this place . . . Did you write that yourself?"
"God, no. It's from a band I used to listen to back in the day. (hed) P.E., they were called. I just thought it was the perfect song for the occasion. Music has always been a big part of my life. Now, I have part of my brain set as a designated iPod. I have a whole bunch of songs rattling around up there." I finally pulled two field-stripped MREs from the bag.
"There's open room up there?" she teased.
"Oh, fuck no. Not anymore, that is. I'm running at maximum capacity. I've forgotten your name at least three times already just today."
She gave a quick giggle.
The others were returning from their bathroom trip.
I opened the meals and began to heat the entrees by dumping some water in the little green bags that came with the meals.
"Now that they're back, would you mind accompanying me to the restroom?" I asked Evelyn.
"After you, sir." She gestured to the opposite side of the meadow from which the others had come.
I led the way to the tree line. We soon arrived at a suitable restroom site.
"After you, m'lady," I said as I turned my back so that she could do her business in private. I hummed another song to be sure I wouldn't hear anything that might gross me out.
"All finished. Your turn big guy."
I stuck out my rifle for her and she grabbed it. Before I let go, I asked her, "You do know how to use one of these, right?"
"Point and click, right? I think I got it."
I let out a sigh. "Let me give you a quick lesson on this, okay? I don't want my face to get eaten off today." I pulled the rifle back away from her.
"This is the charging handle. If you don't pull it all the way back there won't be a round in the chamber for the rifle to fire. This is the safety switch. If you don't flick it down you won't be able to pull the trigger, but if you flip it two positions, you'll fire three rounds in three very different locations. That would be bad, as you might shoot something you don't want to hit . . . like me, for instance. Hopefully, you won't have to use it at all but for now, at least, you know the basics enough for me to take a wiz." I passed off the rifle.
I walked over to a tree, careful not to step in anything that may be on the ground on my way. I unzipped my pants, and as soon as I unleashed my downstairs neighbor, I heard a roar that most certainly did not come from me.
Fuck.
My.
Life.
"What's that!?" shrieked Evelyn.
"That's a cougar," I said, barely loud
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