Read Online Porter (Dick Dynasty #1) by David Michael - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: David Michael
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shoved the last team of morons out of my conference room, the entrance at the opposite end of the room burst open to allow Mitch, Becks, and The Kit into the conference room.
“Sit,” she commanded.
I briefly considered bolting out the door I had just ushered Ty through and begging him to hit the emergency button on the elevator between floors. I quickly abandoned the idea when I remembered that Becks is a ninja and would have caught me before I even made it halfway down the hall.
I begrudgingly shuffled my way across the room and unceremoniously dumped myself in the leather chair between them.
Before I could even groan about it, there were twenty fingers in my hair and I swear to God, Becks was unpacking The Kit with her toes.
“We have just shy of thirty minutes to get her out the door and on her way to The Hills. I’ve done more with less, but we’ll be cutting it close none-the-less.”
“Oh honey,” Mitch crooned, “I can get a drag queen in full makeup and dress in less than fifteen. I bet we can have her done in twenty-five.”
“I hate you both,” I grumbled.
There was a queasy feeling in my stomach and the only way I could make it stop was to imagine Porter going through a similar form of torture.
“Christ Almighty, Lorraine!” I screamed at my stylist, “Don’t you usually count down before you do that? Fuck!”
She just shrugged her shoulders before dropping the white strip of paper covered with wax and what used to be the hair on my balls.
“You want emergency appointment, I give you emergency service. No time for counting.”
I had been going to Lorraine for all of my grooming needs since I was eighteen, but still had a hard time deciphering her thick Korean accent most days. It might’ve been the blinding pain that kept me from deciphering the words that came out of her mouth.
My ears were still ringing from her last tug when she dropped the ice pack on my groin with simple instructions even her accent couldn’t muddle, “You keep there.”
“Yes ma’am.” Was my voice an octave or two higher than normal, or was it just me?
I pressed the freezing cold bag to my traumatized scrotum and laid on the table breathing as if I were in labor. There had to be a way I could get them to give me laughing gas before my next appointment.
“It’s a good thing my junk is insured, Lorraine. I’m convinced you’re going to tear the thing off one of these days.”
“No,” she said with a knowing grin, “I like your movies too much! Beaber Feber is my favorite!” She waggled her eyebrows at me and threw her head back with a laugh that made my skin crawl.
“Do you mean Beaver Fever ?” The mispronunciation was a train wreck I didn’t even want to think about.
“That’s what I say! Beaber Feber! Don’t you speak English?”
She went on a tirade in Korean that I could only imagine had something to do with stupid Americans and their inability to understand their own language.
I bit my tongue and let her do her thing while my balls finally came out from their hiding place just beneath my tonsils.
“You have hot date tonight?”
“Sort of,” I sat up from the table and reached for the jeans around my ankles, “I mean, she’s hot, I just don’t know where it’s gonna lead. Clearly, I hope to take her to bed, but she’s not like other women. She’s a bit hot headed and a lot guarded. It wasn’t such a good combination for our first encounter. She’s almost kind of scary.”
“Ooh,” she said with a solemn nod, “You really like her. I see.”
“No!” I defended, “It’s not like that at all!”
“No no no,” the three words came out as one, “I see your eyes change when you talk about her. Is okay. You need to be careful though. Don’t let her break my favorite client!”
She scampered through the door before I had a chance to convince her that I was only trying to get in with her casting firm.
I had already banged my way into one industry; I
“Sit,” she commanded.
I briefly considered bolting out the door I had just ushered Ty through and begging him to hit the emergency button on the elevator between floors. I quickly abandoned the idea when I remembered that Becks is a ninja and would have caught me before I even made it halfway down the hall.
I begrudgingly shuffled my way across the room and unceremoniously dumped myself in the leather chair between them.
Before I could even groan about it, there were twenty fingers in my hair and I swear to God, Becks was unpacking The Kit with her toes.
“We have just shy of thirty minutes to get her out the door and on her way to The Hills. I’ve done more with less, but we’ll be cutting it close none-the-less.”
“Oh honey,” Mitch crooned, “I can get a drag queen in full makeup and dress in less than fifteen. I bet we can have her done in twenty-five.”
“I hate you both,” I grumbled.
There was a queasy feeling in my stomach and the only way I could make it stop was to imagine Porter going through a similar form of torture.
“Christ Almighty, Lorraine!” I screamed at my stylist, “Don’t you usually count down before you do that? Fuck!”
She just shrugged her shoulders before dropping the white strip of paper covered with wax and what used to be the hair on my balls.
“You want emergency appointment, I give you emergency service. No time for counting.”
I had been going to Lorraine for all of my grooming needs since I was eighteen, but still had a hard time deciphering her thick Korean accent most days. It might’ve been the blinding pain that kept me from deciphering the words that came out of her mouth.
My ears were still ringing from her last tug when she dropped the ice pack on my groin with simple instructions even her accent couldn’t muddle, “You keep there.”
“Yes ma’am.” Was my voice an octave or two higher than normal, or was it just me?
I pressed the freezing cold bag to my traumatized scrotum and laid on the table breathing as if I were in labor. There had to be a way I could get them to give me laughing gas before my next appointment.
“It’s a good thing my junk is insured, Lorraine. I’m convinced you’re going to tear the thing off one of these days.”
“No,” she said with a knowing grin, “I like your movies too much! Beaber Feber is my favorite!” She waggled her eyebrows at me and threw her head back with a laugh that made my skin crawl.
“Do you mean Beaver Fever ?” The mispronunciation was a train wreck I didn’t even want to think about.
“That’s what I say! Beaber Feber! Don’t you speak English?”
She went on a tirade in Korean that I could only imagine had something to do with stupid Americans and their inability to understand their own language.
I bit my tongue and let her do her thing while my balls finally came out from their hiding place just beneath my tonsils.
“You have hot date tonight?”
“Sort of,” I sat up from the table and reached for the jeans around my ankles, “I mean, she’s hot, I just don’t know where it’s gonna lead. Clearly, I hope to take her to bed, but she’s not like other women. She’s a bit hot headed and a lot guarded. It wasn’t such a good combination for our first encounter. She’s almost kind of scary.”
“Ooh,” she said with a solemn nod, “You really like her. I see.”
“No!” I defended, “It’s not like that at all!”
“No no no,” the three words came out as one, “I see your eyes change when you talk about her. Is okay. You need to be careful though. Don’t let her break my favorite client!”
She scampered through the door before I had a chance to convince her that I was only trying to get in with her casting firm.
I had already banged my way into one industry; I
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