Maybe the
children coming home for the winter break and preparing for the holidays would
take her mind off Fallon. She was afraid she had become obsessed with him.
The problem was, her life seemed empty and bland. She’d
started a journey, learned a great deal about herself and her needs, and now,
to attempt to shut the lid and go on without a key part of who she was seemed
like a one-dimensional existence.
When she looked at people, attended functions, went on about
her regular life, it was as though someone else lived it. She was going to have
to make a decision on how she should proceed, because this just wasn’t working
any longer.
She looked down at the papers on her desk. It was time for
her to think about re-election. Did she really want to trap herself into
another term?
Rising from her desk, Helen slipped on her coat and left her
office. She felt suffocated and needed to get out and walk it off. She had
reached a turning point and which direction she took mattered a great deal. The
fact that she felt trapped when she thought of serving another term was not a
good sign.
Fallon might not be a part of her life. It never was a
relationship that could go anywhere. She looked up at the sky. What was he
doing right now? Who was he with? It wasn’t that she was jealous. Or maybe it
was, because she couldn’t be a part of it any longer.
She liked watching him. At first, she’d fought her own ideas
of morality on the issue. But everyone involved was a consenting adult and
everyone’s fantasies were being fulfilled in a safe environment that Fallon
provided. It might be naughty and unacceptable to others—but it was her life.
She might be the mayor, a professional woman, a mother, an
icon for the community, and she fulfilled all those roles to the best of her
ability. But beneath all that there was more—a woman who needed passion and the
companionship of a certain kind of man—one who didn’t try to imprison her into
a societal cell because of who she was supposed to be and the position he
wanted to maintain in the community. She was more than that.
Stopping at the corner of Main Street, she looked across at
the statue of one of the founding fathers in the park. What was important to
her? She had reached her mid-life crisis—so was she now going to try to
suffocate shadow Helen and attempt to destroy her forever? It would be like
cutting out her soul. It would be a slow, torturous death and she didn’t think
she wanted that. She would end up being like that statue in the park, except
she would still be breathing—more or less.
Her gaze encountered the Realtor’s office on the other side
of the park and in that split second she made up her mind. With a determined
stride, she crossed the street.
Fallon had taught her something about life and determination
and pleasure. Nothing in her life was giving her pleasure right now and she
needed to change that. She was desperate to change it. And she was the only one
who could do it.
She stood on the sidewalk, looking at the Realtor’s window.
They would all think she had lost her mind with what she was planning to do,
but she refused to turn back. She didn’t need to stay here. She had enough
money saved, enough in investments, to live comfortably for the rest of her
life. She hadn’t done much traveling and maybe now was the time to remedy that
omission and see some of the world, gain some new perspective.
This town was not the beginning and end of everything—Fallon
had shown her that. The blinders were ripped off and it was time for her to
look around. She stepped up onto the porch and walked inside.
*
* *
Helen scooped up the mail from the mailbox and walked into
the house. Everyone had been shocked when she’d decided not to seek another
term as mayor. To be honest, she’d been more than a little nervous about
announcing her decision.
When they found out she was selling her house as well, she
saw
children coming home for the winter break and preparing for the holidays would
take her mind off Fallon. She was afraid she had become obsessed with him.
The problem was, her life seemed empty and bland. She’d
started a journey, learned a great deal about herself and her needs, and now,
to attempt to shut the lid and go on without a key part of who she was seemed
like a one-dimensional existence.
When she looked at people, attended functions, went on about
her regular life, it was as though someone else lived it. She was going to have
to make a decision on how she should proceed, because this just wasn’t working
any longer.
She looked down at the papers on her desk. It was time for
her to think about re-election. Did she really want to trap herself into
another term?
Rising from her desk, Helen slipped on her coat and left her
office. She felt suffocated and needed to get out and walk it off. She had
reached a turning point and which direction she took mattered a great deal. The
fact that she felt trapped when she thought of serving another term was not a
good sign.
Fallon might not be a part of her life. It never was a
relationship that could go anywhere. She looked up at the sky. What was he
doing right now? Who was he with? It wasn’t that she was jealous. Or maybe it
was, because she couldn’t be a part of it any longer.
She liked watching him. At first, she’d fought her own ideas
of morality on the issue. But everyone involved was a consenting adult and
everyone’s fantasies were being fulfilled in a safe environment that Fallon
provided. It might be naughty and unacceptable to others—but it was her life.
She might be the mayor, a professional woman, a mother, an
icon for the community, and she fulfilled all those roles to the best of her
ability. But beneath all that there was more—a woman who needed passion and the
companionship of a certain kind of man—one who didn’t try to imprison her into
a societal cell because of who she was supposed to be and the position he
wanted to maintain in the community. She was more than that.
Stopping at the corner of Main Street, she looked across at
the statue of one of the founding fathers in the park. What was important to
her? She had reached her mid-life crisis—so was she now going to try to
suffocate shadow Helen and attempt to destroy her forever? It would be like
cutting out her soul. It would be a slow, torturous death and she didn’t think
she wanted that. She would end up being like that statue in the park, except
she would still be breathing—more or less.
Her gaze encountered the Realtor’s office on the other side
of the park and in that split second she made up her mind. With a determined
stride, she crossed the street.
Fallon had taught her something about life and determination
and pleasure. Nothing in her life was giving her pleasure right now and she
needed to change that. She was desperate to change it. And she was the only one
who could do it.
She stood on the sidewalk, looking at the Realtor’s window.
They would all think she had lost her mind with what she was planning to do,
but she refused to turn back. She didn’t need to stay here. She had enough
money saved, enough in investments, to live comfortably for the rest of her
life. She hadn’t done much traveling and maybe now was the time to remedy that
omission and see some of the world, gain some new perspective.
This town was not the beginning and end of everything—Fallon
had shown her that. The blinders were ripped off and it was time for her to
look around. She stepped up onto the porch and walked inside.
*
* *
Helen scooped up the mail from the mailbox and walked into
the house. Everyone had been shocked when she’d decided not to seek another
term as mayor. To be honest, she’d been more than a little nervous about
announcing her decision.
When they found out she was selling her house as well, she
saw
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