Read Online Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain by Richard Roberts - Free Book Online

was trying to jump off my body. It was just a computer noise. This was an old laptop. I knew Mom kept her Audit research on it, but…
    Blue screen of death. There it was on the laptop screen: “Fatal Exception.” This old broken piece of garbage didn’t hold anything. My Mom had suckered me with a fake.
    I grabbed my bracelet, then forced myself to let go. No, I was not going to let The Machine eat this piece of junk. I didn’t know what was actually going on. Maybe this was a trap for any supervillain who just couldn’t believe that Brainy Akk and The Audit had really retired. Maybe I was overthinking this, and it was an old, dead laptop, and Mom had moved her files elsewhere.
    I could forget aboutgetting into Dad’s computer. I needed a new plan.
    “Penny, Claire’s here!” Mom yelled down from upstairs.
    “What, already?” I asked.
    I didn’t wait for an answer. What did I have down here? I ran upstairs. Claire still stood on the stoop, so I ran out to meet her, leaving my Mom to shut the door behind us.
    “I struck out. Nothing,” I leaned up against the car and puffed a little. Stairs, okay?
    “I didn’t,” Claire returned.
    “How did you find one this fast?” I asked in shock. I wanted to disbelieve, but she had her hands clasped behind her back, and her smile radiated smug pride.
    “I asked my Mom! She thought a clubhouse in an old supervillain lair was a great idea. You’re going to love her recommendation, but I have to show it to you.” She was going to explode from smug. There had to be some kind of joke here, but it was a joke that got me a laboratory!
    Although it wasn’t a laboratory without equipment.
    Something about Claire’s pride was infectious. I had the craziest idea.
    Opening the door again, I leaned way in and yelled, “Dad, can I have your junk bin?”
    “For what?” he yelled back. He didn’t sound suspicious, he sounded baffled.
    “To put in our clubhouse! I’ll need equipment when my powers arrive, right?” I yelled.
    “You can’t hurry nature, Penny. You’ll get your powers when they’re ready!” he called back, his voice softer with parental understanding. Parental misunderstanding. He was so sure of his own timeline for my powers, he’d gotten entirely the wrong idea about what I wanted. I had him!
    “Can I have it or not?” I demanded, just as impatient as if he were right and I refused to believe him.
    A moment of silence. Mom making her opinion known, I was sure. Then, “I suppose. Do you need a ride to move it?”
    “Nope, Claire’s Mom wanted to help with that. Thanks, Dad!” I pulled the door closed.
    This was delicious. “You’re sure we’ve got a lair?” I asked Claire.
    “We could have a dozen, but one of them is perfect,” she promised me.
    “Then I have what we need to set it up. Watch this.” I skipped around the back of the house. Yes, it was twee. I was so eager to try this.
    Dad’s junk bin is a huge thing. He’s not great at repairs, only building things the first time, and he racks up piles of equipment that can’t be regularly thrown away. Until he makes arrangements, he dumps them in a big concrete bin in the back yard. I pulled the bar out and hauled the double doors open. There was one of those saws, and his old special welding and soldering rod with the broken handle, and that was the old scanner before he built the new one. He hadn’t emptied the bin in awhile. None of it worked, but there were treasures in here, if only they could be recycled.
    I grabbed The Machine and twisted until it let go of my wrist and flopped around in my grip on its own. Then I tossed it into the bin. “Eat that whole pile. I’ll want them back later, but with anything broken fixed back together.”
    With a grinding noise, The Machine began to eat. With its little jaws, this might take an hour, but it would be an entertaining hour.
    Or it might take a lot less. Plates formed over the empty patches. Then they pressed out, and more plates made