Read Online Playlist for the Dead by Michelle Falkoff - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Michelle Falkoff
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I’d heard about the Blue Star bar. It wasn’t officially a gay bar, but in the scheme of our small town, it basically was.
The idea of Jason Yoder—one macho third of the bully trifecta—being tied naked to a telephone pole was a weird image. It was probably his worst nightmare.
“Rachel, there’s no need for that kind of gossip,” Mom said. “That poor boy.”
“Poor boy?” I said, feeling myself getting angry yet again. “He was a total bully who treated Hayden like crap. I’m not sorry.”
“Sam!” Mom snapped. “You don’t have to like him, but you shouldn’t say something like that.”
“What’s to be sorry about, anyway?” Rachel said. “You didn’t do it.”
“Of course not. I just meant I’m not sorry it happened to him. That guy was an asshole.”
“Language, Sam!” Mom said. “And besides, we’re not the kind of family who wishes bad things on other people.”
Maybe you’re not, I wanted to say, and I could see Rachel was thinking the same thing.
UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE
HarperCollins Publishers
..................................................................
AFTER DINNER I WENT BACK UP to my room. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep right away, so I decided to play Mage Warfare, Archmage or no Archmage. I remembered when Hayden and I had first started playing. We’d talked a lot about the kinds of characters we wanted to create. I’d just read this crazy book about a video game that was supposed to be like reality, where the author had all these theories about why people created characters and acted the way they did in the game world. In the book some of them replicated their lives online—they had the same jobs, drove the same cars, hung out with the same kinds of people. It was like they were living their lives twice. And then there were the others, who went as far in the opposite direction as they could: accountants became movie stars, schoolteachers became rapists, that sort of thing. It was fascinating to me.
Hayden found it disturbing, though. “Both of those options seem off,” he’d said. “It’s hard to imagine that people who were so content with their lives would want to be the same way online—they could just be happy in the real world and not bother with the game at all. And does it really make sense that people’s fantasies would have no resemblance to their real lives? I mean, if the schoolteachers were killing bratty kids that would be one thing, right?” He thought it made more sense if people were who they were but better. People who had boring jobs but loved karaoke would be the rock stars; beat cops would save the world. He would be tall and handsome and magical, and he’d fight for good. Like the Archmage.
I was more intrigued by the darker aspects of gaming. I kind of liked being a bad guy in a world where no one knew who I was and where there were no consequences. And the whole idea of good and evil—there were so many people everyone thought were good who were clearly awful, so why was it a given that being on the good side was any better than being on the bad one?
“If everyone thought like you did, there would be anarchy,” Hayden said.
“I’m not sure that would be the worst thing in the world,” I said. “How can you say you believe in good and evil as absolutes and then look at politics? Both sides think they’re the good guys, and both seem like idiots to me. And they’re totally inconsistent—one side says government is bad but wants to control everything you do, and the other says government is good and then can’t get anything done, which makes government look bad. If there were anarchy, people would have to find ways to work together to make anything happen.”
“It’s crazy to think people would manage without anyone in charge,” he said. “Look how desperate most people are for someone to tell them what to do.”
“Some people,” I said. “But look at us—we both learn way more on our own
The idea of Jason Yoder—one macho third of the bully trifecta—being tied naked to a telephone pole was a weird image. It was probably his worst nightmare.
“Rachel, there’s no need for that kind of gossip,” Mom said. “That poor boy.”
“Poor boy?” I said, feeling myself getting angry yet again. “He was a total bully who treated Hayden like crap. I’m not sorry.”
“Sam!” Mom snapped. “You don’t have to like him, but you shouldn’t say something like that.”
“What’s to be sorry about, anyway?” Rachel said. “You didn’t do it.”
“Of course not. I just meant I’m not sorry it happened to him. That guy was an asshole.”
“Language, Sam!” Mom said. “And besides, we’re not the kind of family who wishes bad things on other people.”
Maybe you’re not, I wanted to say, and I could see Rachel was thinking the same thing.
UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE
HarperCollins Publishers
..................................................................
AFTER DINNER I WENT BACK UP to my room. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep right away, so I decided to play Mage Warfare, Archmage or no Archmage. I remembered when Hayden and I had first started playing. We’d talked a lot about the kinds of characters we wanted to create. I’d just read this crazy book about a video game that was supposed to be like reality, where the author had all these theories about why people created characters and acted the way they did in the game world. In the book some of them replicated their lives online—they had the same jobs, drove the same cars, hung out with the same kinds of people. It was like they were living their lives twice. And then there were the others, who went as far in the opposite direction as they could: accountants became movie stars, schoolteachers became rapists, that sort of thing. It was fascinating to me.
Hayden found it disturbing, though. “Both of those options seem off,” he’d said. “It’s hard to imagine that people who were so content with their lives would want to be the same way online—they could just be happy in the real world and not bother with the game at all. And does it really make sense that people’s fantasies would have no resemblance to their real lives? I mean, if the schoolteachers were killing bratty kids that would be one thing, right?” He thought it made more sense if people were who they were but better. People who had boring jobs but loved karaoke would be the rock stars; beat cops would save the world. He would be tall and handsome and magical, and he’d fight for good. Like the Archmage.
I was more intrigued by the darker aspects of gaming. I kind of liked being a bad guy in a world where no one knew who I was and where there were no consequences. And the whole idea of good and evil—there were so many people everyone thought were good who were clearly awful, so why was it a given that being on the good side was any better than being on the bad one?
“If everyone thought like you did, there would be anarchy,” Hayden said.
“I’m not sure that would be the worst thing in the world,” I said. “How can you say you believe in good and evil as absolutes and then look at politics? Both sides think they’re the good guys, and both seem like idiots to me. And they’re totally inconsistent—one side says government is bad but wants to control everything you do, and the other says government is good and then can’t get anything done, which makes government look bad. If there were anarchy, people would have to find ways to work together to make anything happen.”
“It’s crazy to think people would manage without anyone in charge,” he said. “Look how desperate most people are for someone to tell them what to do.”
“Some people,” I said. “But look at us—we both learn way more on our own
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