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references, witnessed by a notary, and none of your references can be from relatives. One can be from a friend—I’ll be happy to do it—and one should be from a former employer.”
    Uh-oh. I’ve never had an employer.
    “And one should be from some who’s known you forever.”
    Eek. Someone who’s known me “forever” who’s not a family member. I’ll have to think of something. Scott has known me sort of forever, at least since I was in high school. I can’t do it, though. Asking my ex-husband for a character reference is asking for pain.
    Dear Diary:
    I’m writing this in school because Mrs. Hennepin thinks I’m writing something else but I finished it already. All of the other kids in my class are having snack. But not me. Mrs. Hennepin said I couldn’t have juice and cookies because I was bad during recess. I was only playing in the park with Xander and then he got mean and threw sand at me. It’s HIS fault and he gets to have snack and he even gets DOUBLE cookies and I don’t. Mrs. Heinie-face

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    Leslie Carroll
    never does anything mean to the boys. She is like the bad witch from The Wizard of Oz except that her face isn’t green. I wish I had some water to throw on her so she would melt and then maybe we could get the nice second-grade teacher instead.
    The other kids were laughing at me and they made fun of me when Mrs. Heinie-face made me sit in the back of the class and write I’m sorry over and over again until snack is over. Even Ashley made fun of me. And April and May don’t want to talk to me because they think it will get them in trouble, too. They’re not my best friends anymore. I don’t have any more friends. I don’t have a tissue. I don’t want Mrs. Heinie-face to see me crying. That will make her more mean. I know it. I wish Xander would be my friend. I thought he was beginning to like me, especially since he said he would play “house” with me at recess. We had a really good time, too. And then he got so mad at me.
    Why is every person in the whole world mad at me? Xander and Ashley and April and May and Mrs. Heinie-face and even Mommy.
    I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry . . .
    It’s been a long time since I’ve had to take a test. I feel like I’m back in school again, facing the SATs. Time may march on, but some things never change. I threw up before the test then, and I did the same thing this morning.
    Couldn’t even keep down coffee and orange juice. Zoë was so adorable. She got up from the breakfast table—after first asking to be excused—and then lugged the two-liter bottle of ginger ale from the refrigerator, plunking it down at my place with a gushy thud.
    “Y
    me
    ou give
    ginger ale when my tummy is upset,” she said simply, then climbed up to fetch a glass from the cupboard.

    PLAY DATES
    49
    She’s delicious. This is what it’s all for. We’ve got some rough sledding ahead, but I couldn’t imagine a Zoë-less life.
    The New York City Department of Consumer Affairs is down near the tip of lower Manhattan—the Battery. I start giggling to myself thinking about Kathie at Trina’s Tours and the Battery as the power center of the city. I conjure visions of the Energizer Bunny rolling down Wall Street thumping away on his little drum. Kathie’s catalog of errors gives me a boost of confidence.
    Happy Chef has prepared me well. Most of these questions aren’t too hard. At least many of them look familiar. They’re all multiple choice, so I keep telling myself that the right answer is in front of me. All I have to do is select it. The Swedish Broadway question is, in fact, on today’s test, so I know I have that one right.
    Good Lord, someone’s cell phone is ringing. “Nadia’s Theme,” no less. Don’t people know enough to turn off their phones when they enter the testing room? Do they have to be in touch with the rest of the world every millisecond of the day?
    How can I