Plains Crazy

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Authors: J.M. Hayes
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did bit parts on
Xena
and
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
, and played the title role in
Cleopatra 2525
. The look might be okay for one of her daughters, if either had dared it, but Judy didn’t think your average forty-five-year-old could carry it off. She was stuck with it, though, so she would try. But she didn’t leave Millie much of a tip for making her look more campy than cute, even if the cut was pretty much what she’d asked for.
    But for a pickup truck coming from the direction of the grain elevator, the street outside Millie’s was deserted. No surprise there. The streets were nearly always deserted in Buffalo Springs.
    There were a couple of cars in the lot behind the Farmers & Merchants. People were at work over there now. She glanced at her watch and found she still had five minutes until they were due to open. But people didn’t stand on ceremony much in Buffalo Springs. She jaywalked across the street and went up and peered through the glass door. A teller glanced at her, then pointedly looked away. The pickup went by behind Judy and someone wolf whistled. She turned to see who was making fun of her. The only person nearby was a farmer in the pickup. She knew him slightly, too slightly for such teasing familiarity. He had slowed way down and was leaning out the window.
    â€œWant to go for a ride, honey?” He was fifty-something, and so was his wife. He had three grandchildren that Judy knew of, maybe more by now.
    â€œSure, Fred,” Judy called. “Let’s you and me go get Pauline and do just that.” Pauline was his wife of more than thirty years. Fred’s jaw dropped and he pulled his head back inside the truck and accelerated hard toward Main.
    That was weird, Judy thought. She went up and tapped on the front door of the bank and the teller looked at her and glared. Judy pointed at her watch and shrugged her shoulders. The teller waved at the clock on the wall behind her. It was still three minutes short of ten. There would be no favors done for Judy English this morning.
    Judy leaned against the wall and tapped her fingers impatiently against its surface. There was a night deposit box just next to her. The flap over its slot wasn’t fully closed. Curious, she thought. She reached over and lifted it and found that someone had tried to stuff a thick envelope in the opening. It hadn’t fit, maybe because it was wrapped in duct tape that outlined several odd shapes inside. She reached over and picked it up and wondered what it contained—rolls of coins maybe?
    Mrs. Kraus, over at the courthouse and freshly aware of the danger of finding strange things in unusual places, could have made a better guess.
    ***
    Judy and the sheriff had two eighteen-year-old daughters, one by the normal method, the other by adoption. Both were named Heather. They might not be confused by their shared name, but others were, occasionally even their parents, who could easily distinguish one from the other. Most folks couldn’t do that. Though their blood tie was distant, their height, coloring, and features were enough alike to make strangers think they were twins.
    Two Heathers in one house should have been enough to prompt a name change. But giving up a name neither had especially liked, until the prospect of doing without it arose, proved an unsatisfactory option. So, Heather Lane had kept her last name. It worked as far as formal listings, like school, were concerned, to distinguish her from Heather English. But it didn’t work for people dealing with both of them at the same time. That’s where their nicknames, One of Two and Two of Two, came in.
    Heather English was a major Trekkie. For as long as she could remember, she had followed the adventures of the
Star Trek
crews who boldly went where no one had gone before. When the character Seven of Nine appeared on
Star Trek Voyager
about the same time a second Heather came into her life, the answer to their name problem

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