beer in our
hands. I try to shake my head that I don't want it, but Grace leans over to me.
“Just hold it; you don't have to actually drink it.”
“Gotcha.”
She
grabs my free hand and leads me through the crowd of people to a semi clear
spot in the middle of the street. I see that the reason the music is so loud is
that they have a live band set up. There's a crowd of people dancing in front
of the stage.
As
Grace starts to lead us over to the crowd, her hips already swaying with the
music, I feel the tension starting to seep into my body the closer we get to
the crowd of people. I suck in a deep breath as she pulls me through the people
and finds a spot several people deep for us.
She
spins around to face me and still holding my hand, the sway of her hips
increases.
It
takes me several long moments before I can put my calming technique to use. I
start at the top, and work my way down. It’s hard to concentrate on releasing
the tension out of my body when I can feel the crush of people all around me.
Every time someone brushes up against me I feel myself tense again so I have to
start all over.
We
are three songs in before Grant finds us. He slips up behind Grace and
immediately picks up the sway of her hips and matches it with his own. I watch
them for a moment before I reach out and touch Grace's arm to let her know that
I'm going to get out of the crowd. She nods her head.
I
do my best to avoid physical contact as I weave through the crowd, and draw in
a grateful breath when I step out of the dance pit and back into the open
street. The can of beer I'm holding has started to sweat so I switch it to my other
hand and wipe the condensation on my shorts.
“Hey
there, gorgeous.”
Chapter
Eight
It
takes me half a second to realize they mean me. I glance up and find a trio of
guys standing in front of me in board shorts, with multiple brightly colored
plastic leis around their necks. One of them is wearing a straw hat. All three
of them are studying me in a way that instantly makes me uncomfortable. I cross
my arms over my chest and shift uneasily on my feet.
“I'm
Mark.” The guy with the straw hat says, taking a step closer to me. “This is
Scott and Chris.” He points to his friends, but I don't let my gaze stray from
him. Now I wish I had stayed in the damn crowd of people. He takes another step
towards me.
“Can
I buy you a drink?”
I
lift my hand with the beer in it. “I'm good.”
I
tell myself to be calm. There's a crowd of people around us so the chance of
anything happening is slim. But I know how easily a person can be led away, and
I know I'm about three seconds from a full on panic attack as he takes yet
another step towards me.
He's
standing directly in front of me now with a drunken smile on his face. I can
smell the beer on his breath, and for just a second I think its whiskey. I sway
just a little as the smell triggers that corner of my mind I desperately try to
ignore.
When
I close my eyes, I’m no longer standing in the crowed street of fraternity row.
I’m huddled in the corner of the tiny room I’d been held in, listening for any
sound that indicated my own personal monster was coming back again.
Not
that it mattered; I wouldn’t be able to escape him. There was nowhere for me to
go, nothing for me to do but cry and pray that it would all be over soon.
“Want
to get laid?” I snap back to the moment as he touches one hand to the leis
around his neck, and reaches out the other hand towards me. I take an
instinctive step back while forcing myself to breathe.
I
let my eyes slide to the left and right, looking for the best possible way to
get out of this without causing a scene.
Which
means running screaming in the opposite direction is probably not a good idea.
I don't think I have enough air in my lungs to scream anyway. Fear and panic is
sucking the air out of me, and I can actually hear the short gasps of air I'm
managing to take in.
“Mark,
hey man,
hands. I try to shake my head that I don't want it, but Grace leans over to me.
“Just hold it; you don't have to actually drink it.”
“Gotcha.”
She
grabs my free hand and leads me through the crowd of people to a semi clear
spot in the middle of the street. I see that the reason the music is so loud is
that they have a live band set up. There's a crowd of people dancing in front
of the stage.
As
Grace starts to lead us over to the crowd, her hips already swaying with the
music, I feel the tension starting to seep into my body the closer we get to
the crowd of people. I suck in a deep breath as she pulls me through the people
and finds a spot several people deep for us.
She
spins around to face me and still holding my hand, the sway of her hips
increases.
It
takes me several long moments before I can put my calming technique to use. I
start at the top, and work my way down. It’s hard to concentrate on releasing
the tension out of my body when I can feel the crush of people all around me.
Every time someone brushes up against me I feel myself tense again so I have to
start all over.
We
are three songs in before Grant finds us. He slips up behind Grace and
immediately picks up the sway of her hips and matches it with his own. I watch
them for a moment before I reach out and touch Grace's arm to let her know that
I'm going to get out of the crowd. She nods her head.
I
do my best to avoid physical contact as I weave through the crowd, and draw in
a grateful breath when I step out of the dance pit and back into the open
street. The can of beer I'm holding has started to sweat so I switch it to my other
hand and wipe the condensation on my shorts.
“Hey
there, gorgeous.”
Chapter
Eight
It
takes me half a second to realize they mean me. I glance up and find a trio of
guys standing in front of me in board shorts, with multiple brightly colored
plastic leis around their necks. One of them is wearing a straw hat. All three
of them are studying me in a way that instantly makes me uncomfortable. I cross
my arms over my chest and shift uneasily on my feet.
“I'm
Mark.” The guy with the straw hat says, taking a step closer to me. “This is
Scott and Chris.” He points to his friends, but I don't let my gaze stray from
him. Now I wish I had stayed in the damn crowd of people. He takes another step
towards me.
“Can
I buy you a drink?”
I
lift my hand with the beer in it. “I'm good.”
I
tell myself to be calm. There's a crowd of people around us so the chance of
anything happening is slim. But I know how easily a person can be led away, and
I know I'm about three seconds from a full on panic attack as he takes yet
another step towards me.
He's
standing directly in front of me now with a drunken smile on his face. I can
smell the beer on his breath, and for just a second I think its whiskey. I sway
just a little as the smell triggers that corner of my mind I desperately try to
ignore.
When
I close my eyes, I’m no longer standing in the crowed street of fraternity row.
I’m huddled in the corner of the tiny room I’d been held in, listening for any
sound that indicated my own personal monster was coming back again.
Not
that it mattered; I wouldn’t be able to escape him. There was nowhere for me to
go, nothing for me to do but cry and pray that it would all be over soon.
“Want
to get laid?” I snap back to the moment as he touches one hand to the leis
around his neck, and reaches out the other hand towards me. I take an
instinctive step back while forcing myself to breathe.
I
let my eyes slide to the left and right, looking for the best possible way to
get out of this without causing a scene.
Which
means running screaming in the opposite direction is probably not a good idea.
I don't think I have enough air in my lungs to scream anyway. Fear and panic is
sucking the air out of me, and I can actually hear the short gasps of air I'm
managing to take in.
“Mark,
hey man,
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