cheeks. “It would have been better if I had died,” She told the reflection. “I want to die.” The realization floored her. She was always a fighter. Always had been. But this weight far too heavy on her. “I’m dangerous in so many ways.” The words rolled softly off her tongue. “Whatever the tonic is, it isn’t good. It’s mutated my body and mind. I’ve become a walking time bomb…”
A thought suddenly hit her like a light at the end of the tunnel. “But, if I wasn’t here, Markham would have no reason to continue holding my family’s company. I would be dead, just like I should have been two weeks ago. And he can set Mom and Dad free. Dad will get his company back. And no one else would suffer because of me.”
She would have never thought there was anything greater than the physical pain she’d suffered through with the cancer. But the mental torture overwhelmed the pain, in its own way. She faced the girl on the ashy floor. “I will not allow myself to kill innocents.”
With final determination, she grabbed one of the blankets on the floor and tied a loop in it. Balancing on top of the metal slab of a bed, she reached for one of the burnt out lights. It was a recessed can, but she wiggled it lose and fed the fabric around it. Once satisfied, she gave it a quick tug to see if it would hold her weight, but the whole light fell out.
Hailey glared at the spindly wires it dangled from. “That won’t work.”
She searched around and spotted the door handle. Her brow knit.
It would have to do.
~***~
Kallian entered the room to see Hailey still lying in the soot on the floor. She shuddered when she saw him, and sat up.
He softly closed the door. Poor thing. She looks so defeated. He took one step closer. “How are you? Better?”
She didn’t answer. Instead, she looked down to the scrap of burnt white fabric in her hand. He cocked his head, and out of the corner of his eyes he saw the hanging light from the ceiling. Odd. That had never happened in all of her other fire fits.
“Why can’t I die?”
Her small, strangled voice echoed a severe note. He looked back at Hailey, and Hailey pointedly stared right past him. Her eyes focused on something, and he turned to see what it was.
Three different colors of bed sheets, the same ones he’d just left for her, were wrapped around the door handle. But, all were partially burnt. He stepped closer and saw that the sheets had been twisted and tied, burned through, then another replaced the last. The remains of a half burnt noose lay next to his shoe, grimly staring back at him.
She tried to kill herself? Heat surged in his blood. He turned around and saw the broken shell of the woman he fell in love with. She used to be so full of life, ready to conquer anything… And the thought of being with him had driven her to this?
“Am I really so bad?” She looked up slowly as if his words hadn’t registered. He grabbed what was left of the noose and held it out to her line of sight. “Is the thought of being with me so bad that you have to kill yourself? I made one mistake a year ago. I’m sorry I’m selfish, but I told the truth. You didn’t qualify for that grant. But I’ve been trying to fix things and you just what? Run away?”
She blinked at him for a moment before opening her mouth. “That’s… That’s not it.”
She fell silent again, but her eyes never left his. He wanted clarity, but she didn’t seem willing to continue. “What’s not it?”
“You,” she said simply. “The world is safer if I’m gone. I almost killed my Mom,” tears sparkled at the corner of her eyes, “and what I did to my brother… I have to go away. I have to keep them safe. And if I’m not a threat then you don’t have to hold my father’s company anymore.”
He sighed. It was what had happened with her family that plagued her. She wanted to protect them. At least Hailey wasn’t exactly running away from him. “Okay Hailey, I’m going to be
A thought suddenly hit her like a light at the end of the tunnel. “But, if I wasn’t here, Markham would have no reason to continue holding my family’s company. I would be dead, just like I should have been two weeks ago. And he can set Mom and Dad free. Dad will get his company back. And no one else would suffer because of me.”
She would have never thought there was anything greater than the physical pain she’d suffered through with the cancer. But the mental torture overwhelmed the pain, in its own way. She faced the girl on the ashy floor. “I will not allow myself to kill innocents.”
With final determination, she grabbed one of the blankets on the floor and tied a loop in it. Balancing on top of the metal slab of a bed, she reached for one of the burnt out lights. It was a recessed can, but she wiggled it lose and fed the fabric around it. Once satisfied, she gave it a quick tug to see if it would hold her weight, but the whole light fell out.
Hailey glared at the spindly wires it dangled from. “That won’t work.”
She searched around and spotted the door handle. Her brow knit.
It would have to do.
~***~
Kallian entered the room to see Hailey still lying in the soot on the floor. She shuddered when she saw him, and sat up.
He softly closed the door. Poor thing. She looks so defeated. He took one step closer. “How are you? Better?”
She didn’t answer. Instead, she looked down to the scrap of burnt white fabric in her hand. He cocked his head, and out of the corner of his eyes he saw the hanging light from the ceiling. Odd. That had never happened in all of her other fire fits.
“Why can’t I die?”
Her small, strangled voice echoed a severe note. He looked back at Hailey, and Hailey pointedly stared right past him. Her eyes focused on something, and he turned to see what it was.
Three different colors of bed sheets, the same ones he’d just left for her, were wrapped around the door handle. But, all were partially burnt. He stepped closer and saw that the sheets had been twisted and tied, burned through, then another replaced the last. The remains of a half burnt noose lay next to his shoe, grimly staring back at him.
She tried to kill herself? Heat surged in his blood. He turned around and saw the broken shell of the woman he fell in love with. She used to be so full of life, ready to conquer anything… And the thought of being with him had driven her to this?
“Am I really so bad?” She looked up slowly as if his words hadn’t registered. He grabbed what was left of the noose and held it out to her line of sight. “Is the thought of being with me so bad that you have to kill yourself? I made one mistake a year ago. I’m sorry I’m selfish, but I told the truth. You didn’t qualify for that grant. But I’ve been trying to fix things and you just what? Run away?”
She blinked at him for a moment before opening her mouth. “That’s… That’s not it.”
She fell silent again, but her eyes never left his. He wanted clarity, but she didn’t seem willing to continue. “What’s not it?”
“You,” she said simply. “The world is safer if I’m gone. I almost killed my Mom,” tears sparkled at the corner of her eyes, “and what I did to my brother… I have to go away. I have to keep them safe. And if I’m not a threat then you don’t have to hold my father’s company anymore.”
He sighed. It was what had happened with her family that plagued her. She wanted to protect them. At least Hailey wasn’t exactly running away from him. “Okay Hailey, I’m going to be
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