Read Online Petite Madeleine: Drew's Story (Meadows Shore Book 3) by Eva Charles - Free Book Online

because it felt wrong, like cheating, even though it was just in my mind. But I’ve always loved him, and when I saw him standing in Lola’s—it was like a mirage. Like I’d been wandering in a barren desert for years, desperately in need of love, and then there he was. And every feeling I ever had for him came rushing back, but the closer I get to him, the more I realize it’s an illusion. We can’t go back. It’s not how life works.”
    “No. You can’t go back to the way things were, but you can move forward, to where you both are now. Do you have a plan to tell him you had breast cancer?”
    She shrugged, tightening her grip on the widget. “Things ended badly between us, but before that, we had three wonderful years together. I can’t let go of those memories, and I don’t want him to let go of them either. I don’t want the loving gazes to be replaced with looks of horror and pity. Every time I cough, my parents look at me like the cancer may have spread to some other part of my body. Like I might die at any minute. I don’t want that with him.”
    She pressed two fingers to her chin, rubbing them up and down while Dr. Ritchie sat in silence, waiting for her to continue.
    “When I think of him, I remember the way he looked at me while we made love. How he looked at me after we made love. When not a single word was necessary to convey our feelings for each other. We’ve spent enough time together recently for me to know he remembers it too. I want to keep it that way.”
    Dr. Ritchie nodded, and nudged the tissue box closer to Cassie.
    “Even if he can accept the changes in me … he fell apart when his parents died, and it nearly destroyed him—I can’t die on him, too. And if the cancer comes back, I can’t take care of him, not the way I took care of my parents. I’m older now, and I’ll need all my energy just to fight for my life.”
    “Telling him is risky, for all the reasons you’ve stated. But I can’t help but think your experience with Ned is also playing a huge role in your anxiety. What do you think?”
    Cassie shook her head. “What Ned and I had is nothing like what I had with Drew. His rejection stung, but it didn’t destroy me. I loved him, but it was a different kind of love than I have for Drew.”
    “I realize he wasn’t the love of your life, but he broke off the engagement three weeks before the wedding. After your dress had been altered, after every small detail had been attended to, after hundreds of invitations had been mailed, and the response cards were pouring in. And he blamed his decision on your cancer. You haven’t been involved with another man since him, have you?”
    Cassie shook her head while tears trickled down her cheeks. “You don’t understand. If he rejects me, I’ll know it’s over this time. When I lie in bed alone at night, I’ll know. I won’t be able to fantasize about fate intervening to bring us back together someday. I don’t know if I can survive that blow.”
    “You’re stronger than you think.”
    Cassie shrugged. “I don’t know about strong, but I’m confused and conflicted.”
    “Are you willing to give him a chance? Does he deserve it? More importantly, do you deserve it? He might reject you, but you might go on to have a great love affair, one that lasts a lifetime. You’ll never know unless you put your heart on the line. Everyone who enters into a relationship takes an emotional risk, not just survivors. You’ve battled a demon much fiercer than anything Drew can create for you.”
    Cassie’s mind was moving a mile a minute through the swamp in her head, but like a sprinter running in place, her efforts took her nowhere. “I hoped talking to you today would bring me some clarity, but it hasn’t.”
    “Maybe you don’t need clarity. Maybe you already have the answers you’re searching for.”
    Cassie blew her nose one last time, and picked up her purse from the floor. “Thank you for seeing me again. Will this