would still be beautiful to me. I abandoned the
idea of trying to tell Lilly what to do with her body. So what should I say to
the pretty blonde sitting in the tent with me, right now? Honesty—she wants
honesty.
I sighed and sat on the sleeping bag next to her.
“You wanted honesty so I’m going to give it to you. Keep in mind I don’t mean
to hurt your feelings — you know I like you.” She smiled showing perfect white
teeth and nodded her head. “Right here, in this place my head is pretty clear;
I know that I want to be close to you, whatever that might mean. But tomorrow,
everything changes. It’s back to the fast-paced life that I created for myself
— not a life that allows for a girlfriend or a relationship. I have surrounded
myself with friends and things that allow me to be ‘the’ Bullet Steinmann,
cold, aloof and alone. I guess what I’m saying is , I
know how I feel at this moment but I don’t know what I will feel tomorrow.
Saying that out loud makes me sound like a jackass but I want to be honest with
you because you asked me to tell you the truth. You are more than I bargained
for, Lilly Brightwood.”
She wiped a tear from her eye but the smile held in
place. “Thanks for being honest with me. That’s all I wanted to know.” She
stared into her petite hands, thinking about something, obviously.
“Now what about you? I guess once you get back you will forget all about me or will you still go
through with your original plans?” Lilly couldn’t leave me hanging. I had to know
how she thought about us.
“My turn to be honest now? I am not going to have the surgery. Spending this time with you was what I
needed to…well, feel sexy again. I guess although cosmetic surgery is right for
some, I don’t really need it—however, when I’m forty and things start to hang,
I might reconsider that decision. Or if I have kids someday.” I could hardly
contain myself. She was making the right decision—her body was flawless
already. “About you and I, that’s tougher. I know all about your past, well
some of it anyway. Enough to know you haven’t been living like a monk. I get
that. You are handsome, successful and goodness knows you are skilled at
lovemaking.” I grinned some more. “I guess if there were ever a Bullet and
Lilly type-relationship, I would make room for it but you would be like a
wrecking ball in my peaceful life. I’ve got my symphony friends, my sporting
club, Kate…adding a Bullet Steinmann would definitely change things. I don’t
know how I feel about that.”
“Oh, that’s pretty honest.” That was not the answer
I expected. I thought for sure she’d want to continue our association after our
time together was over. I wanted to but it sounded like she didn’t. What the hell was that about?
“I’ve already dated someone a lot like you, Bullet.
Evan was gorgeous, smart, the top of his class and—unfortunately, he had a way
with the ladies. No one could tell him no, ever. I thought we were in a
monogamous relationship but it turns out I was wrong, completely wrong. I’m not
saying you are just like Evan but then again you might be. Do you think that
after all these years of being single you could be a one-woman man?”
I felt insulted at being compared to her punk-ass,
ex-boyfriend. I was a world-renowned surgeon with plenty of money and play
toys. How the hell could she compare me to a typical college guy who wanted to
score as much action as he could? As far I knew, he wasn’t a
doctor. Now I was being judged by his actions. That seemed totally
screwed up. “I don’t think we were talking about getting married, Lilly.” I
laughed angrily. I grabbed my backpack and left the tent. I felt played, like she played me on purpose. I offered her my honest
feelings and she spun it back on me. How was I anything like her college
sweetheart? Well, screw her too!
“Wait! Where are you going? I thought you wanted
honesty?” She followed me out of the tent tucking
idea of trying to tell Lilly what to do with her body. So what should I say to
the pretty blonde sitting in the tent with me, right now? Honesty—she wants
honesty.
I sighed and sat on the sleeping bag next to her.
“You wanted honesty so I’m going to give it to you. Keep in mind I don’t mean
to hurt your feelings — you know I like you.” She smiled showing perfect white
teeth and nodded her head. “Right here, in this place my head is pretty clear;
I know that I want to be close to you, whatever that might mean. But tomorrow,
everything changes. It’s back to the fast-paced life that I created for myself
— not a life that allows for a girlfriend or a relationship. I have surrounded
myself with friends and things that allow me to be ‘the’ Bullet Steinmann,
cold, aloof and alone. I guess what I’m saying is , I
know how I feel at this moment but I don’t know what I will feel tomorrow.
Saying that out loud makes me sound like a jackass but I want to be honest with
you because you asked me to tell you the truth. You are more than I bargained
for, Lilly Brightwood.”
She wiped a tear from her eye but the smile held in
place. “Thanks for being honest with me. That’s all I wanted to know.” She
stared into her petite hands, thinking about something, obviously.
“Now what about you? I guess once you get back you will forget all about me or will you still go
through with your original plans?” Lilly couldn’t leave me hanging. I had to know
how she thought about us.
“My turn to be honest now? I am not going to have the surgery. Spending this time with you was what I
needed to…well, feel sexy again. I guess although cosmetic surgery is right for
some, I don’t really need it—however, when I’m forty and things start to hang,
I might reconsider that decision. Or if I have kids someday.” I could hardly
contain myself. She was making the right decision—her body was flawless
already. “About you and I, that’s tougher. I know all about your past, well
some of it anyway. Enough to know you haven’t been living like a monk. I get
that. You are handsome, successful and goodness knows you are skilled at
lovemaking.” I grinned some more. “I guess if there were ever a Bullet and
Lilly type-relationship, I would make room for it but you would be like a
wrecking ball in my peaceful life. I’ve got my symphony friends, my sporting
club, Kate…adding a Bullet Steinmann would definitely change things. I don’t
know how I feel about that.”
“Oh, that’s pretty honest.” That was not the answer
I expected. I thought for sure she’d want to continue our association after our
time together was over. I wanted to but it sounded like she didn’t. What the hell was that about?
“I’ve already dated someone a lot like you, Bullet.
Evan was gorgeous, smart, the top of his class and—unfortunately, he had a way
with the ladies. No one could tell him no, ever. I thought we were in a
monogamous relationship but it turns out I was wrong, completely wrong. I’m not
saying you are just like Evan but then again you might be. Do you think that
after all these years of being single you could be a one-woman man?”
I felt insulted at being compared to her punk-ass,
ex-boyfriend. I was a world-renowned surgeon with plenty of money and play
toys. How the hell could she compare me to a typical college guy who wanted to
score as much action as he could? As far I knew, he wasn’t a
doctor. Now I was being judged by his actions. That seemed totally
screwed up. “I don’t think we were talking about getting married, Lilly.” I
laughed angrily. I grabbed my backpack and left the tent. I felt played, like she played me on purpose. I offered her my honest
feelings and she spun it back on me. How was I anything like her college
sweetheart? Well, screw her too!
“Wait! Where are you going? I thought you wanted
honesty?” She followed me out of the tent tucking
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