nine o’clock this morning and OneDay’s automated system would tell her whether it was a go, or a no. If it was a go, they could hang on for a while longer. If it was a no, Hannah had enough savings to keep them afloat for another two weeks and then they’d have to close shop.
Hannah sipped her coffee and watched the clock. Eight fifty-six. Four minutes to go. She turned to survey the row of empty glass cookie jars on the counter, wishing they were full of freshly baked cookies and there were customers to eat them. Then she glanced back at the clock again. It was still eight fifty-six. Her Grandma Ingrid had been fond of saying that a watched pot never boiled. Was it also true that a watched clock never ticked? And if time flew when you were having fun, did it stall out when you were miserable?
“Oh boy!” Hannah muttered, getting up to pour fresh coffee in her mug. Pondering weighty questions like this before downing at least four cups of coffee was risky. On her way back to her stool, she glanced up at the clock again. Eight fifty-eight. Time was passing. All she had to do was kill two more minutes and she could call.
The next two minutes seemed to pass with the speed of epochs, but at last the big hand was on the twelve and the small hand was on the nine. Hannah waited until the second hand had clicked off another thirty and then she dialed the number for OneDay Lenders. The moment her call connected, a recorded voice resounded in her ear. Your call is very important to us. our automated loan approval line is in use at the moment, but please remain on the line and your call will be connected in the order in which it was received.
While Hannah waited for her turn to come, she thought about that recorded voice. Was it true that some grandmother in Iowa had recorded almost all of the messages that companies used on their automated telephone services? And if it was true, did she get residuals like actors whose shows were rerun on television? What would she have carved on her tombstone, Please hold and a representative will be with you shortly?
At four minutes past nine, her call was connected and Hannah punched in the number she’d been given in the night she called. And the same recorded voice spoke in her ear, I’m sorry, but your loan has not been approved. More documentation is needed before OneDay can process your request. Please call the following toll-free number for a detailed explanation.
Hannah jotted down the number and dialed. This time she was connected immediately, but the voice on the phone sounded as if he were reading a script. “Are you a real person?” Hannah asked.
“I like to think I am,” the male voice answered, and he actually chuckled. “My name is Perry and I’m your personal loan expeditor. Could I have your application number, please?”
Hannah rattled off the number and waited. And while she waited, her pulse raced at breakneck speeds and her blood pressure reached new heights.
“Miss Swensen?”
“That’s me,” Hannah said. “What did you find out for me, Perry?”
“We need a recent profit and loss statement before we can process your loan.”
“You do? They didn’t say anything about that when I applied over the phone last night.”
“I know. It’s just that since you’re self-employed, we need more information.”
“Okay,” Hannah said, wondering if she could get Stan Kramer to come in on the weekend and prepare one. “From when to when?”
“From the first of January to the current date.”
“Uh-oh,” Hannah said under her breath.
“What was that, Miss Swensen?”
“Never mind. This profit and loss statement is supposed to show a profit, right?”
Perry paused for a moment, he’d obviously never been asked this question before, and then he answered, “That’s right.”
“Well, it won’t,” Hannah said, frowning as her last hope circled the drain and went down. “If it showed a profit, I wouldn’t be applying for this loan. But how
Hannah sipped her coffee and watched the clock. Eight fifty-six. Four minutes to go. She turned to survey the row of empty glass cookie jars on the counter, wishing they were full of freshly baked cookies and there were customers to eat them. Then she glanced back at the clock again. It was still eight fifty-six. Her Grandma Ingrid had been fond of saying that a watched pot never boiled. Was it also true that a watched clock never ticked? And if time flew when you were having fun, did it stall out when you were miserable?
“Oh boy!” Hannah muttered, getting up to pour fresh coffee in her mug. Pondering weighty questions like this before downing at least four cups of coffee was risky. On her way back to her stool, she glanced up at the clock again. Eight fifty-eight. Time was passing. All she had to do was kill two more minutes and she could call.
The next two minutes seemed to pass with the speed of epochs, but at last the big hand was on the twelve and the small hand was on the nine. Hannah waited until the second hand had clicked off another thirty and then she dialed the number for OneDay Lenders. The moment her call connected, a recorded voice resounded in her ear. Your call is very important to us. our automated loan approval line is in use at the moment, but please remain on the line and your call will be connected in the order in which it was received.
While Hannah waited for her turn to come, she thought about that recorded voice. Was it true that some grandmother in Iowa had recorded almost all of the messages that companies used on their automated telephone services? And if it was true, did she get residuals like actors whose shows were rerun on television? What would she have carved on her tombstone, Please hold and a representative will be with you shortly?
At four minutes past nine, her call was connected and Hannah punched in the number she’d been given in the night she called. And the same recorded voice spoke in her ear, I’m sorry, but your loan has not been approved. More documentation is needed before OneDay can process your request. Please call the following toll-free number for a detailed explanation.
Hannah jotted down the number and dialed. This time she was connected immediately, but the voice on the phone sounded as if he were reading a script. “Are you a real person?” Hannah asked.
“I like to think I am,” the male voice answered, and he actually chuckled. “My name is Perry and I’m your personal loan expeditor. Could I have your application number, please?”
Hannah rattled off the number and waited. And while she waited, her pulse raced at breakneck speeds and her blood pressure reached new heights.
“Miss Swensen?”
“That’s me,” Hannah said. “What did you find out for me, Perry?”
“We need a recent profit and loss statement before we can process your loan.”
“You do? They didn’t say anything about that when I applied over the phone last night.”
“I know. It’s just that since you’re self-employed, we need more information.”
“Okay,” Hannah said, wondering if she could get Stan Kramer to come in on the weekend and prepare one. “From when to when?”
“From the first of January to the current date.”
“Uh-oh,” Hannah said under her breath.
“What was that, Miss Swensen?”
“Never mind. This profit and loss statement is supposed to show a profit, right?”
Perry paused for a moment, he’d obviously never been asked this question before, and then he answered, “That’s right.”
“Well, it won’t,” Hannah said, frowning as her last hope circled the drain and went down. “If it showed a profit, I wouldn’t be applying for this loan. But how
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