With his plate loaded, he found a place to sit on the porch with some of the other young men his age.
A man who had introduced himself as Ben turned toward Jacob. “You’re staying with Onkel Daniel, ain’t so?”
“Jah.” Jacob took a bite of his sandwich.
“How long are you here for?” Ben asked.
Jacob shrugged. “Until—Daniel and I haven’t agreed on a date.” Daniel had said when he was ready to go. And, at some moments, asking for a ticket home seemed very appealing. But then, there was Becky.
“Are you one of those who came down here looking for a frau?” Ben snickered and nudged the boy next to him.
Jacob furrowed his brow and took another bite, not saying one way or the other.
“Just stay away from Daniel’s Becky.” Ben gave a sage nod.
The words caught Jacob by surprise. He frowned and looked up, noticing all the other men on the porch nodding in agreement. So much for any of these guys being talked into courting Becky. Wouldn’t happen. Her future husband would have to be one of the men in the exchange. “Was ist letz?” He knew that he shouldn’t encourage gossip, but perhaps this would be a chance for him to offer a positive comment on Becky’s behalf. Other than her unhappiness, and the boppli, he saw nothing but good in her. And the boppli wasn’t bad. Just a little off-putting. How many men wanted to be an instant daed?
Though, to gain Becky….
Ben shook his head. “I shouldn’t talk. She did confess, and her sins were forgiven. But….”
Jacob studied a crack in the porch floor, then cast a sidelong glance at Ben. “Her beau jumped the fence, ain’t so?” Leaving her in disgrace. He struggled not to grind his teeth.
“Nein.” Ben leaned closer but didn’t lower his voice. “Englisch. And Kent says that the kid isn’t his, that she’s loose.”
“But the Englisch have some sort of test they do to verify parentage,” Jacob protested. But it was weak. Of course, Becky wouldn’t have agreed to that. It wasn’t the Amish way, even if the alternative meant ruining her reputation.
Sadly, there was usually some truth in rumors.
Jacob turned his attention to his sandwich, confusion clouding his thoughts, his emotions warring.
If only he could pull Becky away and find out the truth so that he could know how to defend her better. How to reach her.
If only she’d trust him enough to tell him.
If only he understood the need he felt to fix everything for her.
It didn’t make sense. She meant nothing to him. Right?
***
Becky managed to stay out of the way of the ladies all morning, hiding in the corner of the big room with all the married women and young children and listening in on the conversations. She didn’t really fit in anywhere. Not being married, she had nothing in common with those who were, and the girls her age…well, she had zero things in common with them. So, she felt like what Kent had called her once—a wallflower. She hadn’t been sure what that meant, and he hadn’t explained it to her, but the description hurt. That same pain ate at her now. If only she could fit in somewhere.
Kent had encouraged her to drink some sort of liquid that had burned her throat all the way down and settled like molten lead in her stomach. He’d said it would loosen her up. Maybe it had, but all she knew for sure was that the one time she’d tried it, she’d run the buggy into a ditch on the way home and broken it, and the next day, she’d awakened with an awful headache and felt terribly sick.
Daed hadn’t been happy, though he hadn’t said much about it. The disappointment she’d read in his eyes had just about torn her heart out.
She’d never touched the stuff after that. The aftereffects were too horrible. And she couldn’t remember what she did when she drank. It wasn’t worth it.
She eased out of her corner, locating Emma asleep in her grossmammi’s arms, and wandered into the kitchen, where she poured herself a cup of coffee. Then, she
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