five.”
“And I’m his mother. Have you been around
the kid when he can’t go?”
He shook his head and smirked as he looked
out the window.
“Do you see these people? Driving like it’s illegal to go the speed limit.” I looked for a
chance to pass the dented pickup truck; I was bored with his bumper stickers.
“Don’t beep, Anna. Please.” It was a lot
like having Bethany with me.
“I’m not going to beep, Eddie. I’m just
going to ride real close to let the idiot know he is freaking crawling.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see
Eddie’s foot hit his imaginary brake, just like my Dad used to do when I drove
his giant blue sedan. I smiled and slowed down just a little. My husband
sighed.
“Um, Anna? Do you know we just passed
Walmart?”
“I know. Didn’t I tell you? I don’t shop
there anymore.”
“But it’s right there. What’s the
problem?”
“I can’t believe I forgot to tell you. The
old hag in the deli hates her job. She gets so annoyed when I ask her to slice
cheese. And if I ask for it sliced thin, holy crap, she looks like she might
cry. So no Walmart for me.”
“Are we going to Bi-Lo?”
“Nope. You must’ve forgot, because I know
I told you about the hairnet lady there.”
“Hairnet lady, hmm. In the deli? Is she
the one who wrapped the cheese with the fly in it?”
“Bingo! You do listen. I think she did it
on purpose.”
“Right. She caught a fly and flicked it in
your cheese.” He laughed and summed it up, “So it’s all about the deli, then?”
“Yep. The deli is the bottleneck of this
adventure, so I do it first. That way, if things go bad, I can just leave the
empty cart and walk out of the store.”
He didn’t know yet, but one of the tasks I
planned to assign to him today was the dreaded deli. Dr. Wixim, with his sweet
bedside manner and charm, could run for mayor and win—so I expected the deli
would be no big deal for him.
I parked the car at the side of the lot of
the new, shiny Publix, grabbed Eddie’s arm, and we embarked on our first stupid
market date.
“I’ll take the cart and send you on
errands. Is that okay?” I asked.
“Sounds great. Deli first?” My Eddie. The
man would do anything for me. I nodded, handed him the deli list, and off he
went.
Ten minutes later, I was halfway through
my list when he found me; he was holding a pile of meat and cheese in his arms.
“Yikes!” I said. “That’s a ton of meat.”
“ That’s what you said to me on our
honeymoon,” he grinned and grazed my hip with his.
“Jerk.” I slapped his arm while he loaded
the cart. “Are you going to eat all of that?”
“That’s what I said—”
“Don’t even say it if you know what’s good
for you.” I pushed the cart away, and he trotted after me.
“Hey, this is a date, right? Can’t a guy
flirt with his wife?”
I stopped the cart and stood on my tiptoes
to kiss his cheek. “Of course. Just don’t upset the blue hairs.” I pointed and
whispered, “I think that’s the one I passed on the way here.” They were
everywhere. It must be old folks’ night, when they bus them all in and give
senior discounts. I planned to mark my calendar and avoid this next week.
“We’ll eat it all, Anna. I have a plan.
Sandwiches every day. Chicken salad one night. Pepperoni bread another night.
Omelettes another night. I think we could just about live on produce, deli, and
eggs.”
God, I loved that guy. He handled the
despicable deli and now he was planning meals. Why didn’t I unleash him on the
stupid market years ago? “Sounds great. I already did produce.” He inspected
the bags of fruit and veggies and announced that we needed zucchini, mushrooms,
a purple onion, and fresh tomatoes. And he was off again, this time without my
list.
When he met up with me again, with his
arms full of food, he kissed the top of my head. “Anna, this cart is loaded.
Let me push it.” I was in heaven. Pushing the heavy cart at the end of a
“And I’m his mother. Have you been around
the kid when he can’t go?”
He shook his head and smirked as he looked
out the window.
“Do you see these people? Driving like it’s illegal to go the speed limit.” I looked for a
chance to pass the dented pickup truck; I was bored with his bumper stickers.
“Don’t beep, Anna. Please.” It was a lot
like having Bethany with me.
“I’m not going to beep, Eddie. I’m just
going to ride real close to let the idiot know he is freaking crawling.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see
Eddie’s foot hit his imaginary brake, just like my Dad used to do when I drove
his giant blue sedan. I smiled and slowed down just a little. My husband
sighed.
“Um, Anna? Do you know we just passed
Walmart?”
“I know. Didn’t I tell you? I don’t shop
there anymore.”
“But it’s right there. What’s the
problem?”
“I can’t believe I forgot to tell you. The
old hag in the deli hates her job. She gets so annoyed when I ask her to slice
cheese. And if I ask for it sliced thin, holy crap, she looks like she might
cry. So no Walmart for me.”
“Are we going to Bi-Lo?”
“Nope. You must’ve forgot, because I know
I told you about the hairnet lady there.”
“Hairnet lady, hmm. In the deli? Is she
the one who wrapped the cheese with the fly in it?”
“Bingo! You do listen. I think she did it
on purpose.”
“Right. She caught a fly and flicked it in
your cheese.” He laughed and summed it up, “So it’s all about the deli, then?”
“Yep. The deli is the bottleneck of this
adventure, so I do it first. That way, if things go bad, I can just leave the
empty cart and walk out of the store.”
He didn’t know yet, but one of the tasks I
planned to assign to him today was the dreaded deli. Dr. Wixim, with his sweet
bedside manner and charm, could run for mayor and win—so I expected the deli
would be no big deal for him.
I parked the car at the side of the lot of
the new, shiny Publix, grabbed Eddie’s arm, and we embarked on our first stupid
market date.
“I’ll take the cart and send you on
errands. Is that okay?” I asked.
“Sounds great. Deli first?” My Eddie. The
man would do anything for me. I nodded, handed him the deli list, and off he
went.
Ten minutes later, I was halfway through
my list when he found me; he was holding a pile of meat and cheese in his arms.
“Yikes!” I said. “That’s a ton of meat.”
“ That’s what you said to me on our
honeymoon,” he grinned and grazed my hip with his.
“Jerk.” I slapped his arm while he loaded
the cart. “Are you going to eat all of that?”
“That’s what I said—”
“Don’t even say it if you know what’s good
for you.” I pushed the cart away, and he trotted after me.
“Hey, this is a date, right? Can’t a guy
flirt with his wife?”
I stopped the cart and stood on my tiptoes
to kiss his cheek. “Of course. Just don’t upset the blue hairs.” I pointed and
whispered, “I think that’s the one I passed on the way here.” They were
everywhere. It must be old folks’ night, when they bus them all in and give
senior discounts. I planned to mark my calendar and avoid this next week.
“We’ll eat it all, Anna. I have a plan.
Sandwiches every day. Chicken salad one night. Pepperoni bread another night.
Omelettes another night. I think we could just about live on produce, deli, and
eggs.”
God, I loved that guy. He handled the
despicable deli and now he was planning meals. Why didn’t I unleash him on the
stupid market years ago? “Sounds great. I already did produce.” He inspected
the bags of fruit and veggies and announced that we needed zucchini, mushrooms,
a purple onion, and fresh tomatoes. And he was off again, this time without my
list.
When he met up with me again, with his
arms full of food, he kissed the top of my head. “Anna, this cart is loaded.
Let me push it.” I was in heaven. Pushing the heavy cart at the end of a
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