Read Online Operation Bamboozle by Derek Robinson - Free Book Online Page B

to grow up in, if you were a fish. Wonderfully wet. Mrs. Chandler brought it back.
    â€œMy husband goes fishing,” she said. “He loves this picture, says it’s very … authentic. He sees himself standing in that river, you know?”
    â€œThe sympathetic eye,” Julie said. “A great gift.” It was late afternoon and the salon was empty. She could see Luis waiting in the car.
    â€œSure. The thing is … Bob’s a tall man, six foot two, and this guy looks kind of medium height.”
    â€œThink so?” Julie held it at arm’s length. “Up to his thighs. Could be a deep river.”
    â€œYeah … the real problem, I’ve got to tell you, is the hair. There really isn’t much, is there? And Bob’s fair-haired, almost blond, it grows real thick with a natural wave. If you could fix that, and maybe get rid of those dark glasses, Bob hates dark glasses, always has.”
    â€œThis is an original painting,” Julie said. “It’s the artist’s vision. We’re not in the Identikit business.”
    â€œYes, but … Well, I took a couple of art courses at college, so I know how easy it is to … I mean, painter’s don’t always get it right first time, do they?”
    â€œThis one did.”
    â€œI don’t understand.” Mrs. Chandler was a quiet, well-mannered lady, and now she was genuinely puzzled. “We’re the ones who’ll get the benefit. Don’t you want to make people happy?”
    â€œFind another artist, Mrs. Chandler. Go commission a work. Make your requirements known.”
    â€œBob’s dog always goes with him.” She pointed to a spot on the bank. “Sits right there and watches. Beautiful springer spaniel.”
    â€œOut of the question.”
    â€œOnly a little dog.”
    â€œIt’s not for sale.”
    Mrs. Chandler turned away and looked at all the other paintings. “Not doing much trade, are you?” she said; still calm, still quiet. “You’re from the East, right? New York, I believe. We do things kind of differently here. There’s a lot of give and take in El Paso. This was a frontier town not long ago. Being neighborly came natural in hard times, and folk still like to help each other. Maybe that’s why we don’t have too many psychiatrists in El Paso. No demand.”
    â€œNot many artists either. Same reason.”
    â€œThere you go again,” Mrs. Chandler said sadly. She left.
    Driving home, Luis wanted to talk about lunch with James de Courcy. Julie let him. It wasn’t until they were indoors that he asked her what sort of day she’d had.
    â€œUtterly totally stinking godawful bloody lousy,” she said. “Those were the good bits.”
    â€œKeerice!” Princess Chuckling Stream said. “I wanna hear the bad bits.”
    She told them about Mrs. Chandler. “Way she was going, we’d of had swans, clowns an’ the US Cavalry comin’ over the hill, so I said not for sale. End of story.” She stood the painting on a shelf.
    â€œNext time, ask me first,” Princess said. “I’d of done it.”
    â€œNo, you wouldn’t. Not to a gem like that.”
    â€œShe has a point,” Luis said to Princess. “Mrs. Chandler’s changes were all crap.”
    â€œWho gives a shit? My stuff is crap. What we’re talkin’ about here is crap on crap.” They were in the kitchen, and she was preparing supper. “Difference is, when Ma Chandler pays cash we can eat.” She cut the head off a big catfish.
    â€œShe has a point,” Luis said. “And that’s the ugliest animal I ever saw.”
    â€œI won’t do it,” Julie said. “I won’t desecrate beauty, and if you say I have a point I’ll punch your teeth in.”
    Princess picked up the head and pointed it at Luis. “All the other catfish think this cutie is