Read Online Only You (The Mephisto Covenant Series) by Stephanie Feagan - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Stephanie Feagan
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stopped with the tip of my rapier an inch from his chest. “You’re going to let me take you out?”
“I’m not letting you do anything. I’m fucking exhausted. Just do it.” When I hesitated, he said, “Do it!”
He wasn’t the only one who ’d lost the heart for this. I moved the sword slowly away from him. “No.” He took my rapier when I held the hilt toward him, and I turned and walked back to Jane’s grave. He needed to know the truth. Maybe that was part of the reason he came here, where he knew he was unwelcome. He had to know what to do about Mariah. Had to know if I would cave in to instinct and loneliness and share what I was with her. He thought it was so simple. Thought I could eventually set aside my guilt and grief over Jane and move on. But he didn’t know the truth. No one did. Except me, and I had to live with it for the rest of eternity. I would never drag Mariah into the Hell that was my life. I wouldn’t ruin whatever hope she had of happiness. And I wouldn’t put her at risk from Eryx. “You need to think real hard about talking her into staying, Kyros, because she won’t be Mephisto, and if that’s all she means to you, it’s cruel to keep her on the mountain.”
“T hat’s not all she means to me. She’s Jordan’s sister. She’s been through a lot, and she needs us to help her find her way back to her own humanity.”
Didn’t he know I had enough guilt for a thousand lifetimes? Surely he wasn’t standing there trying to add more guilt to my plate . “If you think I’ll feel sorry for her, you’ve—”
“She wouldn’t want anyone to feel sorry for her. She’s all about Jordan, and if all she can ever be is a Lumina, I think that’s just fine. There’s no rule that says a Mephisto has to accept an Anabo, just like they don’t have to accept us.”
A Lumina. Yeah, that’d just be so awesome. She’d be there on the mountain, day after day, year after year, century after century, working with all the other Luminas, and one of them was bound to fall for her and I’d spend forever watching her with another guy. I’d never survive. I’d eventually be unable to stand it and would walk into a church, onto holy ground, where I’d burst into flames and die and be sent straight to Hell, to be with Lucifer and my father and all the wretched souls who lost their way. It was fitting, I supposed. I’d certainly lost my way. “So there’s no way you’ll take her back?”
“If you knew . . . if you could see where she lives, and what she’s got in this world, and if you could understand how she feels about Jordan, you wouldn’t want her to go back. Besides, it’s not as if her being away from the mountain will make any difference. She’ll still be Anabo, and you’re still Mephisto, and you know she exists. It’s not going to make her any less tempting.”
Jerking my gaze to Key’s, I scowled. And lied. “I’m not tempted. I’m not interested at all. And that’s not going to change, ever. ”
Key’s gaze moved to the headstone. “Of course Jane would want you to stay true to her, and you’re nothing if not loyal, Phoenix.”
Pure hyperbole. Did the arrogant son of a bitch really think I’d fall for it? I opted to take it at face value and nodded as I said, “She’s got nothing to worry about.”
Time marched on, as it always does, and I know he expected me to say something.
I didn’t.
Then , while I waited for him to go away, he blew my mind. “I’m sorry, Phoenix.”
I turned my head to look at him, shocked by the grief in his black eyes. Jordan had done this to him. As much as his chemistry gave her the DNA to become Mephisto and have the ability to kill the lost souls despite the Anabo in her, she gave Key enough of herself to affect a subtle but undeniable shift in the way he looked at the world. But I was too angry to be glad about it. Too frustrated and bitter. “Did the mighty leader of the Mephisto just apologize ? Is this the
“I’m not letting you do anything. I’m fucking exhausted. Just do it.” When I hesitated, he said, “Do it!”
He wasn’t the only one who ’d lost the heart for this. I moved the sword slowly away from him. “No.” He took my rapier when I held the hilt toward him, and I turned and walked back to Jane’s grave. He needed to know the truth. Maybe that was part of the reason he came here, where he knew he was unwelcome. He had to know what to do about Mariah. Had to know if I would cave in to instinct and loneliness and share what I was with her. He thought it was so simple. Thought I could eventually set aside my guilt and grief over Jane and move on. But he didn’t know the truth. No one did. Except me, and I had to live with it for the rest of eternity. I would never drag Mariah into the Hell that was my life. I wouldn’t ruin whatever hope she had of happiness. And I wouldn’t put her at risk from Eryx. “You need to think real hard about talking her into staying, Kyros, because she won’t be Mephisto, and if that’s all she means to you, it’s cruel to keep her on the mountain.”
“T hat’s not all she means to me. She’s Jordan’s sister. She’s been through a lot, and she needs us to help her find her way back to her own humanity.”
Didn’t he know I had enough guilt for a thousand lifetimes? Surely he wasn’t standing there trying to add more guilt to my plate . “If you think I’ll feel sorry for her, you’ve—”
“She wouldn’t want anyone to feel sorry for her. She’s all about Jordan, and if all she can ever be is a Lumina, I think that’s just fine. There’s no rule that says a Mephisto has to accept an Anabo, just like they don’t have to accept us.”
A Lumina. Yeah, that’d just be so awesome. She’d be there on the mountain, day after day, year after year, century after century, working with all the other Luminas, and one of them was bound to fall for her and I’d spend forever watching her with another guy. I’d never survive. I’d eventually be unable to stand it and would walk into a church, onto holy ground, where I’d burst into flames and die and be sent straight to Hell, to be with Lucifer and my father and all the wretched souls who lost their way. It was fitting, I supposed. I’d certainly lost my way. “So there’s no way you’ll take her back?”
“If you knew . . . if you could see where she lives, and what she’s got in this world, and if you could understand how she feels about Jordan, you wouldn’t want her to go back. Besides, it’s not as if her being away from the mountain will make any difference. She’ll still be Anabo, and you’re still Mephisto, and you know she exists. It’s not going to make her any less tempting.”
Jerking my gaze to Key’s, I scowled. And lied. “I’m not tempted. I’m not interested at all. And that’s not going to change, ever. ”
Key’s gaze moved to the headstone. “Of course Jane would want you to stay true to her, and you’re nothing if not loyal, Phoenix.”
Pure hyperbole. Did the arrogant son of a bitch really think I’d fall for it? I opted to take it at face value and nodded as I said, “She’s got nothing to worry about.”
Time marched on, as it always does, and I know he expected me to say something.
I didn’t.
Then , while I waited for him to go away, he blew my mind. “I’m sorry, Phoenix.”
I turned my head to look at him, shocked by the grief in his black eyes. Jordan had done this to him. As much as his chemistry gave her the DNA to become Mephisto and have the ability to kill the lost souls despite the Anabo in her, she gave Key enough of herself to affect a subtle but undeniable shift in the way he looked at the world. But I was too angry to be glad about it. Too frustrated and bitter. “Did the mighty leader of the Mephisto just apologize ? Is this the
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