Read Online One Fool At Least by Julia Buckley - Free Book Online Page B

the big guy got in, whistling.
    “What happened?” I whispered from the floor behind him. “Did he pull a gun on you?”
    “He wouldn’t dare. Sort of showed it to me,” he said, and resumed whistling.
    “Then what?” I demanded.
    “My gun was bigger. I persuaded them to go sit in their living room. But we’d better make tracks. They can’t do much without drawing attention; there are other houses dotted in among these trees.” The car suddenly lurched, and we veered away.
    My teeth began to chatter. “You have a gun?” I said. “To deliver pizzas?”
    He was unperturbed. “Hey, I’ve got a license. Besides, some creepy people order pizzas. A guy has to protect himself. So what did Randy and Jim want with you? I take it you’re not their granddaughter?”
    “How do you know their names?” I asked.
    He laughed. “Don’t worry. Everyone knows Randy and Jim. I shopped at their place all through my childhood. Bruder Brothers Supply. It’s just up the road a ways, but now it’s Wilde Emporium.”
    “They kidnapped me,” I said. “I don’t know exactly why. It has to do with a boy named Slider. Can I sit up now?” I began to do so and caught him regarding me with surprise in the rearview. The whole car smelled like pizza, and I was starving. “Can I eat one of those pizzas?” I asked.
    “None left. That was the last delivery on my shift. It’s the smell that lingers. But I’ll take you down to the bar and you can order some food there.”
    “Okay.” I pulled out my cell phone and pressed redial. Nothing happened. “Shit!” I said.
    “Problem?”
    “Other than being kidnapped and having a broken foot, you mean?” I was near tears again.
    “Yeah.” He was amused. I thought it was rude to be amused about a kidnapping, and I told him so, sprinkling my impassioned speech with lots of swear words I hadn’t tried out since high school. “Sorry,” he said, still looking amused. “So what’s the problem? Your phone not working?”
    “No. Is there a phone at this bar? I think my battery’s dead.”
    “Yup. I’ll have you there in no time. Who do you need to call?”
    “My husband. He’s going to come rescue me. Or the police—they’ve been looking for me for hours. This is my honeymoon.”
    He laughed right out loud. “Don’t tell me! Then a troop of aliens will land on the earth and avenge your kidnapping by eating the brains of everyone in Montana.”
    I stared at the back of his head, my mouth hanging open. He didn’t believe me.
    Anger surged into me in a giant red wave. “Why the hell did you help me if you thought I was a lunatic?” I yelled.
    “Seemed fun at the time,” he said. “Everyone likes pimping Jim and Randy, so that’s nothing new.”
    “Pimping?”
    “You know. Practical jokes. I figured I wanted in on this one.”
    “For God’s sake, it’s not a joke. They said they wanted Slider, and that they wouldn’t return me until they got him.”
    He was silent for a moment. “Slider, huh? The Cardini kid? How’d you break your foot, anyway?”
    “I fell off a plane.”
    More hooting from the front seat. “From what, like twenty-thousand feet? Or was it flying low, and that’s how you managed to survive?”
    I shook my head. Unbelievable. My big rescuer and his big gun turned out to be nothing but a fool who refused to see logic. “Listen, I don’t care if you believe me or not. I need to get to this bar and use this phone, and get myself happily installed at the Shea residence, where my honeymoon will commence and Jim, Randy, Sven, Olaf, and especially you will seem like a bad dream.”
    That wiped the smile off his face. “Did you say the Sheas?”
    “Yes. My new family. The Sheas.”
    He whistled, long and low. We were pulling into a parking lot of a place lit up by an orange neon sign that read “The Bar at the Foot of the Hill.” He turned to face me. “Are you Madeline?”
    That one almost knocked me off the seat onto which I had just managed to