Read Online Odin Blew Up My TV! by Robert J. Harris - Free Book Online
Authors: Robert J. Harris
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“That’s why I had to get rid of Odin and the rest before doing anything else. Noway was I going to let them send me back there.”
“Hang on,” said Lewis. “Even when you had all your godly power, you could never pull off anything as big as moving the whole of St Andrews into another world.”
“Ymir gave me a little gift, which I was supposed to use to haul him up out of the Ginnungagap,” said Loki, indicating the crystal on the table to his left. “It’s a shard from Ymir’s icy heart. Down in the void it can’t do anything, but out here in the real world it lets me tap into a primal magic from the beginning of the universe.”
“That’s the crystal you pulled out at the harbour,” said Lewis, “but it’s a lot bigger now.”
“Yeah, it keeps growing,” said Loki. He frowned at the crystal and rubbed his beard nervously. “And it’s getting harder and harder to control.” He wrenched his gaze away from the shard. “Anyway, instead of using it to bring Ymir back into the universe, I used it to shift your little town off the Earth and drop it in Vanaheim, knocking Asgard right out of this world.”
“Why St Andrews?” Susie wondered. “Why not some place else, like Bathgate or Irvine?”
“The spell only works on a place that’s already charged with magic,” said Loki, “like your little town.”
“Yes, because of all the enchantments you’ve cast here before,” Lewis surmised.
“Sure,” said Loki. “So now here we are in my newcapital. Such as it is.”
“This is just crazy,” said Greg, “knocking towns and cities around like they were…”
“Billiard balls?” Loki suggested. “I hope the old gang are happy in whatever oblivion they’ve ended up in.”
“So you’re welching on your deal with Ymir?” asked Greg.
“Of course I am!” said Loki emphatically. “If that big lug ever gets loose he’ll kill every living thing in the universe, starting with me.”
“So what is it you want from us?” Lewis asked.
“I’m going to need a bit of help getting that shard back under control,” said Loki, casting an uneasy eye over the crystal.
“You’ll not get any help from us, you sleaze,” Susie told him.
“All I need from you, sporty girl, is those rings you’re wearing,” said Loki.
Susie took up a fighting pose. “Just you try and take them.”
“They were a gift from Odin to us ,” said Lewis. “If you try to use them, they’ll probably blow up in your face.”
“It would be just like him to pull a dirty trick like that!” Loki growled. He launched into a lengthy list of grievances against Odin that had accumulated over the past two thousand years.
While Loki was busy complaining, Greg sidled closerto Dave the Lobster. Out of the side of his mouth he said, “Right, Dave, while he’s distracted, you watch my back and I’ll make a grab for that rock.”
“Careful there, Gary,” Dave warned. “That thing looks as dangerous as a poisonous anemone.”
“Thanks for the tip,” said Greg. Keeping a cautious eye on the wolflings, he edged closer to the crystal. Choosing his moment, he made a dive for it.
As soon as he touched it, beams of cold blue energy blazed from the heart of the stone. Greg was hurled back as though he’d been struck down by an electric shock. As he tumbled across the floor, a golden blaze shone from his Asgardian ring.
Lewis and Susie’s rings flared as well. Dave the Lobster let out a yelp as a golden radiance lit up the amulet under his t-shirt. The wolflings scattered, yelping like startled dogs.
“Stop that yammering and grab those mortals, you stupid hounds!” yelled Loki.
Greg scrambled to his feet as the glow from the rings subsided. Still whimpering, the beast guards surrounded the four prisoners and seized them.
“Enough fooling around,” said Loki, taking a step towards them. “I’ll have those rings now.”
Suddenly the door burst open and a woman in chainmail armour bounded into the room, long
“Hang on,” said Lewis. “Even when you had all your godly power, you could never pull off anything as big as moving the whole of St Andrews into another world.”
“Ymir gave me a little gift, which I was supposed to use to haul him up out of the Ginnungagap,” said Loki, indicating the crystal on the table to his left. “It’s a shard from Ymir’s icy heart. Down in the void it can’t do anything, but out here in the real world it lets me tap into a primal magic from the beginning of the universe.”
“That’s the crystal you pulled out at the harbour,” said Lewis, “but it’s a lot bigger now.”
“Yeah, it keeps growing,” said Loki. He frowned at the crystal and rubbed his beard nervously. “And it’s getting harder and harder to control.” He wrenched his gaze away from the shard. “Anyway, instead of using it to bring Ymir back into the universe, I used it to shift your little town off the Earth and drop it in Vanaheim, knocking Asgard right out of this world.”
“Why St Andrews?” Susie wondered. “Why not some place else, like Bathgate or Irvine?”
“The spell only works on a place that’s already charged with magic,” said Loki, “like your little town.”
“Yes, because of all the enchantments you’ve cast here before,” Lewis surmised.
“Sure,” said Loki. “So now here we are in my newcapital. Such as it is.”
“This is just crazy,” said Greg, “knocking towns and cities around like they were…”
“Billiard balls?” Loki suggested. “I hope the old gang are happy in whatever oblivion they’ve ended up in.”
“So you’re welching on your deal with Ymir?” asked Greg.
“Of course I am!” said Loki emphatically. “If that big lug ever gets loose he’ll kill every living thing in the universe, starting with me.”
“So what is it you want from us?” Lewis asked.
“I’m going to need a bit of help getting that shard back under control,” said Loki, casting an uneasy eye over the crystal.
“You’ll not get any help from us, you sleaze,” Susie told him.
“All I need from you, sporty girl, is those rings you’re wearing,” said Loki.
Susie took up a fighting pose. “Just you try and take them.”
“They were a gift from Odin to us ,” said Lewis. “If you try to use them, they’ll probably blow up in your face.”
“It would be just like him to pull a dirty trick like that!” Loki growled. He launched into a lengthy list of grievances against Odin that had accumulated over the past two thousand years.
While Loki was busy complaining, Greg sidled closerto Dave the Lobster. Out of the side of his mouth he said, “Right, Dave, while he’s distracted, you watch my back and I’ll make a grab for that rock.”
“Careful there, Gary,” Dave warned. “That thing looks as dangerous as a poisonous anemone.”
“Thanks for the tip,” said Greg. Keeping a cautious eye on the wolflings, he edged closer to the crystal. Choosing his moment, he made a dive for it.
As soon as he touched it, beams of cold blue energy blazed from the heart of the stone. Greg was hurled back as though he’d been struck down by an electric shock. As he tumbled across the floor, a golden blaze shone from his Asgardian ring.
Lewis and Susie’s rings flared as well. Dave the Lobster let out a yelp as a golden radiance lit up the amulet under his t-shirt. The wolflings scattered, yelping like startled dogs.
“Stop that yammering and grab those mortals, you stupid hounds!” yelled Loki.
Greg scrambled to his feet as the glow from the rings subsided. Still whimpering, the beast guards surrounded the four prisoners and seized them.
“Enough fooling around,” said Loki, taking a step towards them. “I’ll have those rings now.”
Suddenly the door burst open and a woman in chainmail armour bounded into the room, long
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