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California Diaries #9: Amalia. Fate.
    Ann M. Martin
    The author gratefully acknowledges Peter Larangis for his help in preparing this manuscript
    Interior illustrations by Stieg Retlin
    ISBN 0-590-02385-3
    Copyright © 1998 by Ann M. Martin. All rights reserved. Published by Scholastic Inc.
    CALIFORNIA DIARIES and associated logos are trademarks and/or registered
    trademarks of Scholastic Inc.
    Printed in the U.S.A.
    First Scholastic printing, October 1998
    This eBook is for educational and reference purposes only. It is not intended to infringe on or circumvent copyright. No monetary gain is made from the distribution of this eBook.
    Wednesday 9/23
    Study hall
    Nbook, you are not going to believe what magazine I have in front of me.
    Teen’zine.
    I hate Teen’Zine. 99% of the articles are about guys and zits. (“How to Tell Them Apart” might be a really useful piece.)
    I know, I should be doing h.work, not wandering around the periodical rack. But I’m bored.
    Anyway, my eye catches a title on the cover, right under “Where Your Favourite Celebs Shop” and “Banish That Blemish”:
    You Don’t Have an Eating Disorder—But Your Best Friend Does
    Well, maybe. I can’t help but think about Maggie.
    She is so thin, Nbook. Much thinner than when I first met her. And she doesn’t eat a thing at lunch.
    I’m leafing through the article. It’s full of headings and subheadings and testimonials from kids who have survived all these disorders.
    Extreme cases. Anorexics who have almost starved themselves to death. Bulimics who wrecked their digestive systems from throwing up too much.
    I read about “binge-eating disorder” (out-of-control eating), “anorexia athletica”
    (staring yourself because you’re preoccupied with exercise), “night-eating syndrome”
    (starving during the day but binge-eating at night), “nocturnal sleep-related disorder”
    (Starving during the day but eating in a half-asleep, half-awake state).
    Suddenly I felt very full.
    He article’s pretty hopeful, though. It talks about successful treatment, kids who’s gone on to lead normal lives, etc.
    Okay. What about Maggie?
    Anorexic, or just a nervous stomach.
    I don’t know.
    Bedtime

10:30 or so
    Cut out from Teen’zine, September issue:
    How Can I Tell is My Friend has an Eating Disorder?
    Answer yes or no.
    1. Is your friend preoccupied with food?
    2. Is she/he preoccupied with his/her appearance?
    3. Does he/she take frequent trips to the restroom?
    4. Have you noticed your friend purchasing large amounts of food that vanish quickly?
    5. Have you noticed the smell of vomit in the restroom after she/he has used it?
    Had your Friend:
    6. Lost of gained a significant amount of weight?
    7. Developed a severe diet or abnormal eating habits?
    8. Remained dissatisfied with his/her weight, despite weight loss?
    10. Become socially isolated and/or depressed?
    3, 4 and 5 came out no.
    But in this questionnaire all the eating disorders are lumped together. 3, 4, and 5
    refer to bulimia (which Maggie definitely doesn’t have) and binge eating (which I have never seen her do).
    Every other question, Nbook, is a yes.
    So, according to this, Maggie may actually have anorexia.
    Hold it.
    Don’t jump to conclusions, Vargas.
    These magazines exaggerate.
    Can’t believe she’s that far gone.
    11:53 P.M.
    Sleep lees in Palo City
    Yes, I can.
    Thursday 9/24
    7:34 A.M.
    Me, zonked but determined
    001
    5:01 P.M.
    You know what I wish, Nbook? I wish I knew how to talk. I meant really talk, not blabber. Express what’s on my mind, with the right words, in full sentences. The way Sunny and Dawn do. And of course the way my beloved sister, Saint Isabel the Perfect, does.
    Maybe I should just draw everything I want to say. Stop talking completely. Then I’d stay out of trouble.
    Today, for instance.
    Maggie and I hand out at the Vista Hills Mall. After reading that article, I’m looking at her differently than I used to. Noticing things. Like (1) She’s

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