Nursing on the Ranch

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Authors: Kailyn Cardillo
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    The family that I babysit for used to be one big happy family. Beverly met David when she was 18 years old. I was still a baby, not quite one at the time. David was a rancher and was incredibly hard working. It is not uncommon for him to be out for 14 hours or more each day. Beverly met him one day by chance and fell in love instantly. They got married shortly after meeting and started to have babies right away. Everyone always said that they did not see how the marriage could last. Beverly was a bit of a wild child and was used to the city life. She was constantly told that she would never make it in the country. She was determined to prove them wrong and did everything that she could to make a life on the ranch.
     
    Shortly after giving birth to their fourth child, Beverly seemed to lose it. No one is quite sure if it was brought on by postpartum depression or if she just couldn't take it anymore but being isolated in the middle of nowhere was just not working for her. As hard as she tried to prove everyone wrong, they were right. She did not have it in her to be married to a rancher.
     
    I was the one who found the note. It could not have come at a worst time. I had just come over to get their kids on the school bus and saw it sitting on the table. I found it to be quite harsh. The note pretty much said that she was sick and tired of throwing her life away. She still had her looks and no longer wanted to waste them on someone who was never there to pay attention to her. It didn't matter that he was not there because he was working hard to provide a comfortable living for his family. Later, the note addressed the whole family and said that she was starting a new life for herself and she did not wish to be contacted. They were all sad but David was devastated.
     
    With me being the only non-relative in the house, David confided in me during the difficult transition. He told me about all of the things he tried to do to make her happy. Being a rancher was all he knew how to do so there was not an option to quit to do something else. He wanted Beverly to be able to get out of the house and drive into the city to find things that she liked to do. He made plenty of money so hiring me to come and help out with the kids so that she had more freedom was never an issue. The problem was that, if I wasn't available, no one wanted to come out to the middle of nowhere to act as live-in help and it wasn't cost effective to make the long trip out for a few hours a day.
     
    He completely understood why Beverly felt the way that she did but that did not stop him from being angry at the fact that she abandoned her entire family. I saw how he struggled to take care of his responsibilities and make sure the house was running smoothly so I volunteered to basically take her place and assume her duties of taking care of the kids and doing all of the household chores. David was so very happy to have me around. He would gloat every day as he told me what a great job I was doing around the house.
     
    I have always taken great pride at being able to have a smile on my face no matter what I was feeling inside so David was surprised to walk in one evening and find me sobbing uncontrollably on the couch. I was holding his three month old baby Alice. David had no idea why I was crying but he just assumed that reality had started to hit me and that I was getting overwhelmed by all of my new responsibilities. He took off his boots, walked over to the couch and wrapped his arms around me. He told me that everything was going to be fine as he gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead. He told me that he knew that what I was doing for him was far too much to ask of an 18 year old and promised me that he would find someone to help me as soon as he could. I just looked up at him as the tears continued to stream out of my eyes.
     
    "David, I love your kids as though they were my own. I know you work hard so I don't mind doing the housework. I even quit my

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