Read Online Nowhere to Run (Stephanie Carovella) by Nina D'Angelo - Free Book Online
Authors: Nina D'Angelo
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the way she died was with so little respect. Not when I know her killer is still out there. Not when I can’t help but wonder if her killer is here today, amongst her friends, mourning her.”
Rubbing his hands on her back in soothing, circular motions, he crooned, “Babe, it’s going to be okay. Why don’t we just sit here for a little while longer? We’ll go in when you’re ready. Okay?”
Stephanie raised pain-filled eyes to his, whispering softly, “No Ben, it’s not okay. It’s never going to be okay. We’re never going to be okay again.”
Ana stood at the front of the church’s doors, watching Ben hold Stephanie close. She smiled sadly. She felt like an interloper. She’d loved Angel as much as any of them, but Ben, Stephanie, Dominic, Jesse and Angel had been the famous five. Together they’d been able to do anything, and everything. They’d been invincible.
She’d been their tag-along, the latecomer to the group. Now both Dominic and Angel were gone, and there were only three of them left. And, she was still standing on the outside. She was still their tag-along.
Ben was shutting her out. She knew he loved her in his own way, but it stung her deeply to see him comforting Stephanie. It stung because she needed his support just as much, and he didn’t even realize it. Stephanie needed him and because it was Stephanie he would automatically comfort her without even thinking about her needs. She just wished for once that she’d come first, instead of his friends.
“You know he loves you,” Jesse said from behind her.
“Maybe so, but it’s not the same,” she said quietly, crossing her arms across her chest.
“What do you mean the same?” he questioned, his gaze moving towards Ben and Stephanie stood.
“As the way he loves her,” she said sadly, not looking at him. “He loves her, you know. He always has.”
“No Ana, he loves you,” Jesse argued softly.
Ana nodded in agreement. “Yes I know. He loves me, just not like the way he does her. He’ll never love me the way he loves Stephanie.”
Turning slightly, she pasted a bright smile on her face. Her smile dimmed at the sight of Jesse in a suit. “That’s a first. The last time I saw you in a suit,” she paused. “I don’t even know the last time I saw you in a suit.”
Jesse’s smile was grim, tearing his eyes off Ben and Stephanie, he reminded her gently, “It was at Dominic’s funeral.”
“Dominic’s funeral, of course it was,” Ana whispered, laughing bitterly. “That’s the irony of it, Jesse. Ben loves her and she still loves Dominic. Even after all this time, he’s still the only man she loves. The only man she will ever truly love.” She broke off bitterly, seeing his pained expression.
Lifting her hand to her mouth, she whispered softly, “Oh Jesse, I’m sorry. I forgot that you love –”
Jesse shook his head, silencing her. “Ana, Ben knows you’re hurting too but he needs to comfort Stephanie. He feels he has to. I feel the same way, and I know she feels the same need to comfort us. It’s just the bond between us,” he said with a shrug.
“It’s unbreakable. I know this already. I just wish he wasn’t shutting me out,” Ana said, bitterness creeping back into her voice. “I just wish for damn once, she didn’t come first.”
Sighing heavily, she shook her head. Turning, she smiled apologetically at Jesse. “I’m sorry Jess. I didn’t mean to sound like the jealous girlfriend, and usually I’m not. It’s just with Ben and Stephanie…” Ana bit out a sob. “I shouldn’t even be reacting like this. Not today, of all days.”
Jesse wrapped his arms around her, drawing her gently to him. “It’s okay, Ana. You’re allowed to mourn for her, too.”
Ana nodded, finally letting her tears flow freely. She pressed her face into his chest, her voice small. “I just miss her so damn much, Jesse. It’s so unfair. She shouldn’t have died, not like that.”
***
Stephanie
Rubbing his hands on her back in soothing, circular motions, he crooned, “Babe, it’s going to be okay. Why don’t we just sit here for a little while longer? We’ll go in when you’re ready. Okay?”
Stephanie raised pain-filled eyes to his, whispering softly, “No Ben, it’s not okay. It’s never going to be okay. We’re never going to be okay again.”
Ana stood at the front of the church’s doors, watching Ben hold Stephanie close. She smiled sadly. She felt like an interloper. She’d loved Angel as much as any of them, but Ben, Stephanie, Dominic, Jesse and Angel had been the famous five. Together they’d been able to do anything, and everything. They’d been invincible.
She’d been their tag-along, the latecomer to the group. Now both Dominic and Angel were gone, and there were only three of them left. And, she was still standing on the outside. She was still their tag-along.
Ben was shutting her out. She knew he loved her in his own way, but it stung her deeply to see him comforting Stephanie. It stung because she needed his support just as much, and he didn’t even realize it. Stephanie needed him and because it was Stephanie he would automatically comfort her without even thinking about her needs. She just wished for once that she’d come first, instead of his friends.
“You know he loves you,” Jesse said from behind her.
“Maybe so, but it’s not the same,” she said quietly, crossing her arms across her chest.
“What do you mean the same?” he questioned, his gaze moving towards Ben and Stephanie stood.
“As the way he loves her,” she said sadly, not looking at him. “He loves her, you know. He always has.”
“No Ana, he loves you,” Jesse argued softly.
Ana nodded in agreement. “Yes I know. He loves me, just not like the way he does her. He’ll never love me the way he loves Stephanie.”
Turning slightly, she pasted a bright smile on her face. Her smile dimmed at the sight of Jesse in a suit. “That’s a first. The last time I saw you in a suit,” she paused. “I don’t even know the last time I saw you in a suit.”
Jesse’s smile was grim, tearing his eyes off Ben and Stephanie, he reminded her gently, “It was at Dominic’s funeral.”
“Dominic’s funeral, of course it was,” Ana whispered, laughing bitterly. “That’s the irony of it, Jesse. Ben loves her and she still loves Dominic. Even after all this time, he’s still the only man she loves. The only man she will ever truly love.” She broke off bitterly, seeing his pained expression.
Lifting her hand to her mouth, she whispered softly, “Oh Jesse, I’m sorry. I forgot that you love –”
Jesse shook his head, silencing her. “Ana, Ben knows you’re hurting too but he needs to comfort Stephanie. He feels he has to. I feel the same way, and I know she feels the same need to comfort us. It’s just the bond between us,” he said with a shrug.
“It’s unbreakable. I know this already. I just wish he wasn’t shutting me out,” Ana said, bitterness creeping back into her voice. “I just wish for damn once, she didn’t come first.”
Sighing heavily, she shook her head. Turning, she smiled apologetically at Jesse. “I’m sorry Jess. I didn’t mean to sound like the jealous girlfriend, and usually I’m not. It’s just with Ben and Stephanie…” Ana bit out a sob. “I shouldn’t even be reacting like this. Not today, of all days.”
Jesse wrapped his arms around her, drawing her gently to him. “It’s okay, Ana. You’re allowed to mourn for her, too.”
Ana nodded, finally letting her tears flow freely. She pressed her face into his chest, her voice small. “I just miss her so damn much, Jesse. It’s so unfair. She shouldn’t have died, not like that.”
***
Stephanie
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