Read Online Nothing but Gossip by Marne Davis Kellogg - Free Book Online

the hardtop at a high rate of speed. “This guy’s wife is lying in intensive care with half her head missing and he’s getting a blow job on his way to the hospital.”
    “Are you going to take the case?”
    “Double fee,” I said, and Linda grinned. “Get a retainer agreement and invoice over to him today. Make it clear his deposit has to be in my account this afternoon or the deal’s off.”
    “You got it, chief.” Linda turned to her computer and had the invoice printed before I was even back through the door into my office. She followed right on my heels. “Mrs. Van Buren is expecting you at ten-thirty. And your mother called and said please not to forget the Kellys’ party tonight. It’s at six-thirty. The rest of this,” she said, fanning a handful of correspondence like play money, “can wait.”
    Mother seemed much calmer about this wedding than she had about my goddaughter Lulu’s in June. She had immersed herself so deeply in the planning and execution of Lulu’s marriage to the Baron, and dedicated herself so totally to the torture of everyone around her, that she never took the time to enjoy herself. I guess she felt she’d planned my nuptials for so many years, she could carry them off in her sleep. Unfortunately, deep down, of course, we all knew that this sanguine attitude masked a sleeping volcano, that the clock was ticking,and that, like a letter bomb, she was scheduled to go off any second. What she was doing was vamping for time, building up back-pressure.
    I took the triple-magnification mirror out of my desk drawer, checked my makeup, and was just spinning the dial on the big, antique black-lacquered safe I’d claimed from one of my father’s banks when Elias arrived with coffee and doughnut holes for Linda.
    “Don’t forget,” he said. The tumblers fell into place and I slammed the handle down with the sound and authority of a good old-fashioned lockup, then removed a small black-velvet bag, its braided satin drawstring pulled tight. “The Kellys’ party is at six-thirty.”
    “I know, Mother already called.” I spilled Mrs. Van Buren’s twelve, perfectly matched, quarter-sized, Ceylon sapphires onto my desk and counted to make sure they were all there.
    “She says starting today I have to go everywhere you go. Sort of an official escort. How are you this morning, my darling?” He gave Linda a hug and a kiss that was actually more like a little peck from a shy bear.
    “Elias,” I said, drizzling the stones back into their soft pouch. They made deliciously solid clicks, like a slow game of marbles heard from a distance. “Just because I missed most of Lulu’s parties doesn’t mean I’m going to miss any of Richard’s and mine. And you won’t be an escort, you’ll be a baby-sitter. I swear to God I’ll be there.”
    Elias shook his head. “Sorry. You have virtually no credibility in this department. Besides, we’ll have fun. I’ll be your driver.”
    “Okay,” I said. “Let’s go.”
    “You mean right now? I just got here. What about the coffee and doughnuts and everything?”
    “I’ll tell you what. For today, I’ll just call in every hour. How’s that?”
    “Yeah.” Elias popped two tender, glazed, deep-fried morsels into his mouth. “I suppose that’ll be okay for today. We’ll start tomorrow.”
    I headed for town, winding through Little Squaw Canyon at a higher rate of speed than Wade, because I passed him about five minutes later. The convertible was pulled over on the side of the road. His head was pushed into the red-leather headrest. His mouth was open and his eyes were closed. I supposed that if my windows had been down I could have heard him yelling. Only the back of the blonde’s head was visible, submerged as she was in the depths of Wade’s Cerrutti gabardines.
    “That guy is worse than a dog,” I said aloud.
    My lookout, Baby, stood with her front paws on the Jeep’s dashboard and didn’t give him more than a blink. She was