Read Online Nothing But Blue Skies by Tom Holt - Free Book Online

voice at the other end of the line said a name; but the entire budget for both Star Wars trilogies would be small change compared to the cost of typesetting it. ‘Is that you?’
    It took Karen a moment to recover from the shock. ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘it’ s me. How did you . . .?’
    â€˜Give me some credit, please.’ The voice laughed, but there were only a few residual traces of amusement in the sound. ‘What the hell are you doing down there? We’ve been going frantic. More to the point, he ’s been going frantic. I’ve had my work cut out just keeping him from flooding the whole damned planet just to - if you’ll pardon the expression - flush you out.’
    Karen couldn’t help smiling. ‘That sounds like Dad,’ she said, looking round to make sure the others weren’t watching or listening. ‘So he was upset?’
    â€˜It’s a pity there’s no real commercial use for understatement, because if there was, we could found a whole industry on you. Yes, he was upset.’
    â€˜Oh.’ Karen hesitated. ‘I’m sorry about that. But I’m not coming back.’
    The voice on the other end of the line, which belonged to her father’s chief adviser and officially designated Bearer of Vicarious Guilt, clicked its forked tongue sharply. ‘Right now,’ he said, ‘that’s the least of my problems. You do know he’s vanished, don’t you?’
    â€˜What?’
    â€˜Obviously not.’ The voice dropped by a decibel or so. ‘He went off to look for you over a week ago. We haven’t heard a peep out of him since. I’ve bent my brain into right angles thinking up plausible lies to keep the King happy; he wants to know where his weekly returns are, and if he finds out your father is MIA—’
    Karen shuddered. ‘Don’t,’ she said.
    â€˜It’s all very well you coming over all squeamish, but that’s what he is. And if I was a nasty, cruel person I’d point out just whose fault that is; but I’m not, so I won’t.’ A pause. ‘So you obviously haven’t seen him,’ the voice continued.
    â€˜No.’
    â€˜Silly question, really. You can tell I’m starting to lose my grip, which is hardly surprising in the circumstances. Oh, and while I think of it, what’s the big idea behind all this completely unauthorised rain you’ve been spraying about the place? His Majesty’s been asking about that, too.’
    Karen winced. ‘Sorry,’ she said.
    â€˜You’re sorry. Oh, hooray. That makes all the difference.’
    â€˜What did you tell him?’
    â€˜Oh, the usual. Fire drills. Systems checks. Dumping outdated stock before the end of the financial year. The insulting thing is, he’s believed me, so far at least. What that says about his idea of how we run things up here I’ll leave you to figure out for yourself.’
    Karen sighed. ‘So what do you want me to do? Shall I come home?’
    â€˜Only if you want to be told your fortune by the entire Legate Assembly. No, if I were you I’d stay right where you are for now and try and do something useful to make up for all the trouble you’ve caused. Like finding your father, for a start.’
    â€˜Oh.’
    â€˜â€œOh,” she says. Well, you were a bloody nuisance when you were little, so at least you’re consistent. Come on, you’ve been down there for weeks, you must have the whole place pretty well sussed by now. I mean, it can’t be complicated.’
    â€˜Well—’
    â€˜And besides,’ the voice went on, ‘exactly how many dragons do you think there are down there? I’ll tell you. Two. Not counting you, one. In this context, I find the expression pathetically simple describes the task that awaits you pretty well.’
    It’s not like that , Karen thought, not like that at all . ‘I expect