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miss him, and how any funeral expenses would have to be taken from his allowance, and such, and thus, by shrewd ratiocination, appeal simultaneously to a variety of interests, for example, to his instinct for self-preservation, social and civic responsibility, and greed. But, what if the child is not yet at the age of reason, and is discovered sitting in the haystack, beaming up at you, holding his first lighted match?
    In my day, a primitive and benighted era, we would promptly remove the child from the haystack and extinguish the match. Indeed, we might even speak crossly to child, and might even warm his little stern for him. To be sure, this behavior might today land one behind bars.
    But even the modern parent is unwilling to see his moppet immolated.
    Accordingly there are a number of alternatives at his disposal. The most obvious is to anticipate the situation and be prepared for it, outfitting the tyke with protective gear, for example, with fire-proof gloves, an enclosed helmet, and an asbestos suit. If one cannot afford an asbestos suit, and such, perhaps having spent the money on the legally required car seat for his eighteen-year-old sibling, one might remove the haystack from the child, which will be less traumatic, apparently, than removing the child from the haystack, stand ready with a fire hose, have the haystack placed beneath a water tank which can be drained at a moment’s notice, lure the child away with a new puppy or ice cream, and so on.
    Still there are dangers.
    I leave these cheerfully, however, to our new generation of child psychologists and social workers.
    This paper is addressed, rather, to a quite different, but, I think, interesting question.
    How is it that the human race got to be the human race?
    How did we get here without our child psychologists and social workers? How did the little tykes make it so far with so little help?
    Interestingly enough a new study has appeared which bids fair to illuminate this knotty problem in evolutionary theory.
    And it has to do with the simple hairbrush.
    Many were the dangers which confronted our paleolithic ancestors, for example, cave bears, saber-tooth tigers, rogue mammoths, careless mastodons, not watching where they were going, other paleolithic ancestors, and so on. The human race, for better or for worse, had taken its leave of other primate species, which probably did not mind its departure, and opted for cunning, grumpiness, and home-made equipment, stone knives, axes, and such, thus enabling it to have at its disposal the means whereby, if suitably employed, it might eventually produce its own extinction, an advancement generally eschewed by more survival-oriented life forms. One must understand that things in those days were nip and tuck, though perhaps less so than in our day. Would the human race survive? What would evolution have to say about us? And what might we say about evolution? Could the genetic lotteries be rigged?
    But back to the hairbrush.
    It is well known that baby guppies, newly born fruit flies, freshly hatched crocodiles, and such, arrive in this world well-equipped to fend for themselves. Not so, of course, the newly delivered human infant. Mostly it just lies about and makes a great deal of noise. At birth, and for a good while thereafter, it is unable to lift a stone club, track a rabbit, or pounce on squirrels, let alone spear mammoths or contest real estate with large animals. But the precariousness of the human infant is well known. It was never doubted by even medium-sized predators. We may suppose that those mothers who followed the example of, say, the maternal crocodile, either letting the infant shift for itself, or eating it, did not find their genes frequently replicated. Thus, certain sorts of mothers, nurturing mothers, say, would be favored by evolution. Still the child was at great risk, and thus, obviously, so, too, was the human race.
    One danger to the race which has hitherto received little