surely understood.”
But Callista wondered: had the long illness which came upon her after her rescue been somehow areaction to this failure? Perhaps, she thought, they had lost an opportunity which might never come again,to come together when they were both afire with passion and had no room for doubts and fears. Even Leonie thought it likely that she had done so.
Why did I not? And now, now it is too late…
Ellemir yawned, with a smile of pure delight
“It is our wedding day, Callista!”
Callista closed her eyes. My wedding day. And I cannot share her gladness. I love as she loves, yet I am not glad … She felt a wild impulse to tear at herself with her nails, to beat herself with her fists, toturn on and punish the beauty which was so empty a promise, the body which looked so much like alovely and desirable woman’s body—a shell, an empty shell. But Ellemir was looking at her in troubledquestion, so she made herself smile gaily.
“Our wedding day,” she said, and kissed her twin. “Are you happy, darling?”
Page 27
And for a little while, in Ellemir’s joy, she managed to forget her own fears.
Chapter Five
«^»
That morning Damon came to assist Dom Esteban into the rolling chair that had been made for him. “Soyou can be present at the wedding sitting upright, not lying flat on a wheel-bed like an invalid!”
“It feels strange to be vertical again,” said the old man, steadying himself with both hands. “I feel as dizzy
as if I were already drunk.”
“You’ve been lying flat too long,” Damon said matter-of-factly. “You’ll soon get used to it.”
“Well, better to sit up than go propped on pillows like a woman in childbed! And at least my legs are still
there, even if I can’t feel them!”
“They are still there,” Damon assured him, “and with someone to push your chair, you can get around
well enough on the ground floor.”
“That will be a relief,” Esteban said. “I am weary of looking at this ceiling! When spring comes, I will have workmen come here, and let them do over some rooms on the ground floor for me. You two,” he added, gesturing Andrew to join them, “can have any of the large suites upstairs, for yourselves and your wives.”
“That is generous, Father-in-law,” Damon said, but the old man shook his head.
“Not at all. No room above ground level will ever be the slightest use to me again. I suggest you go and
choose rooms for yourselves now; leave my old rooms for Domenic when he takes a wife, but any others
are for your own choice. If you do it now, the women can move into their own homes as soon as they
are married.” He added, laughing, “And while you do that, I shall have Dezi wheel me about down here
and get used to the sight of my house again. Did I thank you, Damon, for this?”
On the upper floor, Damon and Andrew sought out Leonie. Damon said, “I wanted to ask you, out ofearshot. I understand enough to know Dom Esteban will never walk again. But otherwise how is he, Leonie?”
“Out of earshot?” The Keeper laughed faintly. “He has laran , Damon; he knows all, though perhaps he has wisely refused to understand what it will mean to him. The flesh wound has long healed, of course, and the kidneys are not damaged, but the brain no longer communicates with legs and feet. He retains some small control over body functions, but doubtless as time passes and the lower part of his body wastes away, that will go too. His greatest danger is pressure sores. You must be sure his body-servants turn him every few hours, because, since there is no feeling, there will be no pain either, and he will not know if a fold in his clothing, or something of that sort, puts pressure on his body. Most of those who are paralyzed die when such sores become infected. This process can be delayed, with great care, if his limbs are kept supple with massage, but sooner or later the muscles will wither and
But Callista wondered: had the long illness which came upon her after her rescue been somehow areaction to this failure? Perhaps, she thought, they had lost an opportunity which might never come again,to come together when they were both afire with passion and had no room for doubts and fears. Even Leonie thought it likely that she had done so.
Why did I not? And now, now it is too late…
Ellemir yawned, with a smile of pure delight
“It is our wedding day, Callista!”
Callista closed her eyes. My wedding day. And I cannot share her gladness. I love as she loves, yet I am not glad … She felt a wild impulse to tear at herself with her nails, to beat herself with her fists, toturn on and punish the beauty which was so empty a promise, the body which looked so much like alovely and desirable woman’s body—a shell, an empty shell. But Ellemir was looking at her in troubledquestion, so she made herself smile gaily.
“Our wedding day,” she said, and kissed her twin. “Are you happy, darling?”
Page 27
And for a little while, in Ellemir’s joy, she managed to forget her own fears.
Chapter Five
«^»
That morning Damon came to assist Dom Esteban into the rolling chair that had been made for him. “Soyou can be present at the wedding sitting upright, not lying flat on a wheel-bed like an invalid!”
“It feels strange to be vertical again,” said the old man, steadying himself with both hands. “I feel as dizzy
as if I were already drunk.”
“You’ve been lying flat too long,” Damon said matter-of-factly. “You’ll soon get used to it.”
“Well, better to sit up than go propped on pillows like a woman in childbed! And at least my legs are still
there, even if I can’t feel them!”
“They are still there,” Damon assured him, “and with someone to push your chair, you can get around
well enough on the ground floor.”
“That will be a relief,” Esteban said. “I am weary of looking at this ceiling! When spring comes, I will have workmen come here, and let them do over some rooms on the ground floor for me. You two,” he added, gesturing Andrew to join them, “can have any of the large suites upstairs, for yourselves and your wives.”
“That is generous, Father-in-law,” Damon said, but the old man shook his head.
“Not at all. No room above ground level will ever be the slightest use to me again. I suggest you go and
choose rooms for yourselves now; leave my old rooms for Domenic when he takes a wife, but any others
are for your own choice. If you do it now, the women can move into their own homes as soon as they
are married.” He added, laughing, “And while you do that, I shall have Dezi wheel me about down here
and get used to the sight of my house again. Did I thank you, Damon, for this?”
On the upper floor, Damon and Andrew sought out Leonie. Damon said, “I wanted to ask you, out ofearshot. I understand enough to know Dom Esteban will never walk again. But otherwise how is he, Leonie?”
“Out of earshot?” The Keeper laughed faintly. “He has laran , Damon; he knows all, though perhaps he has wisely refused to understand what it will mean to him. The flesh wound has long healed, of course, and the kidneys are not damaged, but the brain no longer communicates with legs and feet. He retains some small control over body functions, but doubtless as time passes and the lower part of his body wastes away, that will go too. His greatest danger is pressure sores. You must be sure his body-servants turn him every few hours, because, since there is no feeling, there will be no pain either, and he will not know if a fold in his clothing, or something of that sort, puts pressure on his body. Most of those who are paralyzed die when such sores become infected. This process can be delayed, with great care, if his limbs are kept supple with massage, but sooner or later the muscles will wither and
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