Read Online No Early Birds: A Short Story by Mackey Chandler - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Mackey Chandler
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the day if you correct them.
"So why is the parking lot full on a Saturday?" Anna asked, in case we didn't get her point.
"Anna, Edna, I think something very strange happened. I'm pretty sure it is Sunday."
Just then Faye returned from the restroom and stopped at the looks on our faces, not sitting down.
"What's going on?" she asked, looking back and forth between us.
"Violet finally had the butter slide off her noodles," Anna assured her calmly, tilting her head to demonstrate. "She thinks it's Sunday. Just play along like everything is okay, and we can still have a nice lunch before we call the men in white coats."
"Make fun all you want," I invited Anna. "Faye honey, would you walk up to the counter and ask the cook what the date is today?"
She looked at me funny, but went up and asked. We saw the fellow glance down at his watch and saw the answer on his lips even before she came back.
"Today's the eleventh, according to his wrist watch."
"And the paper, and the whole congregation of Episcopalians across the street. I never did hold with everything they believe, but most of them have wit enough to know what day to show up at church," I said. Nobody had an answer to refute any of that.
The waitress came just then and we all had to stop and order something. She must have known something was bothering us because none of us were ready, and Faye was still standing awkwardly, but she sat down and the waitress took our order and didn't try to hurry us along. It wasn't like the place was hopping and she needed to rush us.
"Okay, allowing for the sake of argument that it is Sunday." Faye asked. "How did all of us get that confused? Odds are all four of us are not going to show the first signs of Alzheimer's on the same morning in April. That's too much coincidence to believe in, and I don't feel out of it at all. At my age I don't need to misplace a whole day. I'm trying to make the most of every one I can."
"Nothing is wrong with us. When I pushed the enter icon on the ladies device, the time changed on the screen, but it also changed outside the car. Anna complained the light went from green to red and didn't show a yellow. I think it was us changed from Saturday to Sunday without any in between. And she was looking at the light so hard she missed it, but the sky changed from cloudy to sunshine at the same time. Not a bit at a time blowing away, but all at once like a scene change in a movie."
We all sat thinking on it, not happy, but not coming up with any alternatives. I really have to give my girls credit. Nobody automatically said that's impossible. I don't think any of us have used that word since old Mrs. McLain ran off with the Cuban pool boy to Texas.
"Fine," Edna agreed. "Punch yesterdays date back in the little miracle machine and we'll just - poof - disappear and be sitting here on Saturday with a drizzle coming down outside and the parking lot across the street empty. The waitress will have to take our order again when we appear, and this time I'll get the chicken salad instead of tuna, because it's sounding better. Nothing lost except a few minutes from a Sunday that we'll all agree not to talk about."
"And I don't think we want to go to Waffle House tomorrow and see if there are four familiar ladies sitting in our window booth. Agreed?" Faye asked.
We all laughed nervously at that and I dug the little machine out of my purse. Funny thing was, nobody had asked to see it. If we bought something special at a sale everybody wanted to handle it and look it over closely. This little gadget seemed to intimidate
"So why is the parking lot full on a Saturday?" Anna asked, in case we didn't get her point.
"Anna, Edna, I think something very strange happened. I'm pretty sure it is Sunday."
Just then Faye returned from the restroom and stopped at the looks on our faces, not sitting down.
"What's going on?" she asked, looking back and forth between us.
"Violet finally had the butter slide off her noodles," Anna assured her calmly, tilting her head to demonstrate. "She thinks it's Sunday. Just play along like everything is okay, and we can still have a nice lunch before we call the men in white coats."
"Make fun all you want," I invited Anna. "Faye honey, would you walk up to the counter and ask the cook what the date is today?"
She looked at me funny, but went up and asked. We saw the fellow glance down at his watch and saw the answer on his lips even before she came back.
"Today's the eleventh, according to his wrist watch."
"And the paper, and the whole congregation of Episcopalians across the street. I never did hold with everything they believe, but most of them have wit enough to know what day to show up at church," I said. Nobody had an answer to refute any of that.
The waitress came just then and we all had to stop and order something. She must have known something was bothering us because none of us were ready, and Faye was still standing awkwardly, but she sat down and the waitress took our order and didn't try to hurry us along. It wasn't like the place was hopping and she needed to rush us.
"Okay, allowing for the sake of argument that it is Sunday." Faye asked. "How did all of us get that confused? Odds are all four of us are not going to show the first signs of Alzheimer's on the same morning in April. That's too much coincidence to believe in, and I don't feel out of it at all. At my age I don't need to misplace a whole day. I'm trying to make the most of every one I can."
"Nothing is wrong with us. When I pushed the enter icon on the ladies device, the time changed on the screen, but it also changed outside the car. Anna complained the light went from green to red and didn't show a yellow. I think it was us changed from Saturday to Sunday without any in between. And she was looking at the light so hard she missed it, but the sky changed from cloudy to sunshine at the same time. Not a bit at a time blowing away, but all at once like a scene change in a movie."
We all sat thinking on it, not happy, but not coming up with any alternatives. I really have to give my girls credit. Nobody automatically said that's impossible. I don't think any of us have used that word since old Mrs. McLain ran off with the Cuban pool boy to Texas.
"Fine," Edna agreed. "Punch yesterdays date back in the little miracle machine and we'll just - poof - disappear and be sitting here on Saturday with a drizzle coming down outside and the parking lot across the street empty. The waitress will have to take our order again when we appear, and this time I'll get the chicken salad instead of tuna, because it's sounding better. Nothing lost except a few minutes from a Sunday that we'll all agree not to talk about."
"And I don't think we want to go to Waffle House tomorrow and see if there are four familiar ladies sitting in our window booth. Agreed?" Faye asked.
We all laughed nervously at that and I dug the little machine out of my purse. Funny thing was, nobody had asked to see it. If we bought something special at a sale everybody wanted to handle it and look it over closely. This little gadget seemed to intimidate
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