right, Cousin Shake,” Ms. Grier said sternly.
“And another day to show their mama that I’m not scared of her. That I raised her, she didn’t raise me. And another day to show my Minnie that I love her for more than just her body. I love her for her mind and that body is just extra.”
“It sure is,” Man-Man said, and then tried to play off what he’d just said by coughing like crazy. I patted him on the back.
“Is it something wrong with you, Man-Man?” Cousin Shake asked.
“Nah, nah, I’m good. Just that visual of Ms. Minnie’s body tore me up from the floor up. I’m straight now, though.”
“Amir,” Ms. Grier said sternly, “Be quiet.”
“Yeah,” Cousin Shake said, “you better shut ’im down. ’Cause I bet’ not catch him side-eyeing Minnie. Now bow your heads and let me finish my prayer.”
We complied and Cousin Shake went on. “As I was saying, we just wanna thank You Brother John, I mean Jesus, for putting us on our way and getting these busters ready for school. Let ’em know, Lawd, that the rules have changed. Along with all of my many duties around here I also double as the homework police. Let ’em know none of their lil lazy and crazy friends better not call here after nine. ’Cause if they do, they will be subjected to a Cousin Shake cuss out. So, yeah, I’m ’bout to close this prayer out. And thank Ya for er’thang. The air we breathe and the blood running warm in our veins. And this we pray in my play-cousin Jerry, I mean Jesus’ name. Amen.”
What kind of . . .
I looked at Man-Man and he said, “Just let it go. Trust me, eat, and leave it alone.”
I took Man-Man’s advice and began to eat my breakfast of cheese grits, fried eggs, bacon, and orange juice. “So, Gem are you excited to start school today?” Toi asked.
“No.” I stuffed a piece of bacon into my mouth. “I’m cool. It’s just school.”
“Just school!” Man-Man screeched. “Man, it’s more than school, it’s a lover boy’s playground—and my specialty is turning out all the freshmen.”
“I thought you and Pop made up?” I said confused.
“Nah, we always break up on the first day of school. Give me a chance to scout things out and give her something to complain about.”
“She needs to dump you and never look back,” Toi said.
“She loves me.”
“That ’cause she doesn’t know you don’t have any money. And nobody likes a broke pimp,” Toi snapped.
“Amir, you better not be pimpin’ anything but those grades,” Ms. Grier said.
“Ma,” Man-Man said. “I got this.” He turned to Toi. “Back up off of G-Bread now. Fall back.”
Cousin Shake cut in, “You just better get yourself together, M.C. Alphabet. Now don’t make me volunteer as the teacher’s aide just to watch you, Man-Man ’cause I’ll do it.”
“Can you be the teacher’s aide at my school, Cousin Shake?” Malik said excited. “Then I don’t have to be alone.”
“Malik,” Miss Grier said. “You won’t be alone. You’ll make plenty of friends.”
“Baby-Tot-Tot,” Cousin Shake said. “All the kids gon’ like you otherwise they’ll have to deal with me!”
Malik laughed. “I really hope the kids are nice.”
“Why are you sweatin’ that?” I snapped.
“Because I’m scared the kids won’t like me,” Malik admitted.
“They will like you,” I said, hoping Malik would cut the feeling-sorry-for-himself shenanigans. “And you know they will.”
“But I hate being the new kid.”
“Get. Over. It,” I said tight-lipped.
“Don’t be so hard on him, Gem,” Ms. Grier said. “How about this, Malik. How would you like it if I took you to school this morning? I have a friend whose son is going to be in the same grade as you, and I would love to introduce you two. I have a feeling that you will turn out to be great friends.”
“Okay!” Malik’s face lit up and I didn’t know whether to feel happy that Ms. Grier was being nice or to feel annoyed because Malik
“And another day to show their mama that I’m not scared of her. That I raised her, she didn’t raise me. And another day to show my Minnie that I love her for more than just her body. I love her for her mind and that body is just extra.”
“It sure is,” Man-Man said, and then tried to play off what he’d just said by coughing like crazy. I patted him on the back.
“Is it something wrong with you, Man-Man?” Cousin Shake asked.
“Nah, nah, I’m good. Just that visual of Ms. Minnie’s body tore me up from the floor up. I’m straight now, though.”
“Amir,” Ms. Grier said sternly, “Be quiet.”
“Yeah,” Cousin Shake said, “you better shut ’im down. ’Cause I bet’ not catch him side-eyeing Minnie. Now bow your heads and let me finish my prayer.”
We complied and Cousin Shake went on. “As I was saying, we just wanna thank You Brother John, I mean Jesus, for putting us on our way and getting these busters ready for school. Let ’em know, Lawd, that the rules have changed. Along with all of my many duties around here I also double as the homework police. Let ’em know none of their lil lazy and crazy friends better not call here after nine. ’Cause if they do, they will be subjected to a Cousin Shake cuss out. So, yeah, I’m ’bout to close this prayer out. And thank Ya for er’thang. The air we breathe and the blood running warm in our veins. And this we pray in my play-cousin Jerry, I mean Jesus’ name. Amen.”
What kind of . . .
I looked at Man-Man and he said, “Just let it go. Trust me, eat, and leave it alone.”
I took Man-Man’s advice and began to eat my breakfast of cheese grits, fried eggs, bacon, and orange juice. “So, Gem are you excited to start school today?” Toi asked.
“No.” I stuffed a piece of bacon into my mouth. “I’m cool. It’s just school.”
“Just school!” Man-Man screeched. “Man, it’s more than school, it’s a lover boy’s playground—and my specialty is turning out all the freshmen.”
“I thought you and Pop made up?” I said confused.
“Nah, we always break up on the first day of school. Give me a chance to scout things out and give her something to complain about.”
“She needs to dump you and never look back,” Toi said.
“She loves me.”
“That ’cause she doesn’t know you don’t have any money. And nobody likes a broke pimp,” Toi snapped.
“Amir, you better not be pimpin’ anything but those grades,” Ms. Grier said.
“Ma,” Man-Man said. “I got this.” He turned to Toi. “Back up off of G-Bread now. Fall back.”
Cousin Shake cut in, “You just better get yourself together, M.C. Alphabet. Now don’t make me volunteer as the teacher’s aide just to watch you, Man-Man ’cause I’ll do it.”
“Can you be the teacher’s aide at my school, Cousin Shake?” Malik said excited. “Then I don’t have to be alone.”
“Malik,” Miss Grier said. “You won’t be alone. You’ll make plenty of friends.”
“Baby-Tot-Tot,” Cousin Shake said. “All the kids gon’ like you otherwise they’ll have to deal with me!”
Malik laughed. “I really hope the kids are nice.”
“Why are you sweatin’ that?” I snapped.
“Because I’m scared the kids won’t like me,” Malik admitted.
“They will like you,” I said, hoping Malik would cut the feeling-sorry-for-himself shenanigans. “And you know they will.”
“But I hate being the new kid.”
“Get. Over. It,” I said tight-lipped.
“Don’t be so hard on him, Gem,” Ms. Grier said. “How about this, Malik. How would you like it if I took you to school this morning? I have a friend whose son is going to be in the same grade as you, and I would love to introduce you two. I have a feeling that you will turn out to be great friends.”
“Okay!” Malik’s face lit up and I didn’t know whether to feel happy that Ms. Grier was being nice or to feel annoyed because Malik
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