Read Online No Attachments by Tiffany King - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Tiffany King
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answered, hitting the button on my Bluray player.
" Yum. What movies did you get in from Netflix?" I asked, grabbing another slice of pizza.
" This week it was comedies."
" Sounds good," I said, settling back against the cushions on my couch.
" So, are you going to tell me how your jump went, or am I supposed to brush up on my mind-reading skills?"
I took a moment to finish my second slice of pizza before answering her, unsure of how much information I wanted to divulge. "What makes you think I went through with it?"
" Uh, maybe because you left wet clothes strewn across your living room. Duh. I can't believe you were dumb enough to go by yourself."
I looked at her questionably.
"Brittni texted me about her strep to warn me, I'll probably get it next since the bitch took a swig of my beer the other night. So, spill it."
" I jumped off the bridge today," I said evasively.
" So help me, I will hit you upside the head with this remote if you don't answer my question," she threatened, holding up my remote like a weapon.
"Okay, psycho . I jumped, and it was scary, amazing and exhilarating all wrapped up into one. I'd do it again if I didn't freeze my ass off afterward, well that, and if I wasn't afraid the bridge was falling on top of me."
" What?"
" It would seem someone with a superhero complex was under the impression that I fell in and needed to be saved."
" OMG, please tell me it was Mr. Hot and Sexy who jumped in to save you," Tressa asked, bouncing on the couch with excitement.
" How did you know he was still in town?" I asked, surprised that was the natural conclusion she would reach.
" Hello. You do know this is Woodfalls, right? I could tell you who took a shit yesterday and who was constipated. The whole town is buzzing about the mysterious journalist who's decided to stick around in the boonies for a while. According to a very reliable source, he's super private and won't even let the maid service come in to clean his room. He has them drop off clean towels and sheets in the morning and leaves the dirty ones outside the door of his room," she said in an excited rush. "So, was he your knight in shining armor?"
" Wow, you're like Google, your knowledge knows no bounds," I joked, ignoring the way my heart rate had kicked into hyperdrive at the knowledge that he was sticking around for a while.
At my comment , she reached over and whacked me with the remote.
"Bitch , that hurt," I complained, rubbing my sore leg. "Fine," I said when she held up the remote again. "Yes, it was him. He nearly scared the shit out of me, jumping in after me like that. I was under the water when I heard a big-ass splash behind me. I was convinced that damn bridge was coming down."
" So, you're telling me this guy also has a hero complex? God, that's rich. Now I'm super bummed I didn't take him first the other night. I wouldn't mind a little mouth-to-mouth if you catch my drift."
" I'd have to be in a mineshaft, hundreds of miles beneath the earth not to catch your drift," I answered dryly. "It was sweet, but I'm not looking for some heavy relationship."
" Honey, neither am I, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun in the meantime. He's obviously panting after you like a dog. Use him for mind-blowing sex and move on," she said, grabbing a third slice of pizza.
"Y ou sound like Fran. Aren't small-town girls supposed to have a higher sense of morals or something?"
" Honey, it's Sunday. Do you see me at any kind of church? Nope. My lack of morals was exposed many years ago. That and the fact that I may or may not have corrupted some of the boys when I was younger may have me on the 'we need to pray for her soul' list at all three churches in town. Seriously though, they act like skinny-dipping in the baptism pool is frowned upon," she quipped, winking at me outrageously.
" Nuh-uh, please tell me you didn't," I asked, torn between laughter and horror. I wasn't a churchgoer, but I'm sure that pretty much ranked up there with
" Yum. What movies did you get in from Netflix?" I asked, grabbing another slice of pizza.
" This week it was comedies."
" Sounds good," I said, settling back against the cushions on my couch.
" So, are you going to tell me how your jump went, or am I supposed to brush up on my mind-reading skills?"
I took a moment to finish my second slice of pizza before answering her, unsure of how much information I wanted to divulge. "What makes you think I went through with it?"
" Uh, maybe because you left wet clothes strewn across your living room. Duh. I can't believe you were dumb enough to go by yourself."
I looked at her questionably.
"Brittni texted me about her strep to warn me, I'll probably get it next since the bitch took a swig of my beer the other night. So, spill it."
" I jumped off the bridge today," I said evasively.
" So help me, I will hit you upside the head with this remote if you don't answer my question," she threatened, holding up my remote like a weapon.
"Okay, psycho . I jumped, and it was scary, amazing and exhilarating all wrapped up into one. I'd do it again if I didn't freeze my ass off afterward, well that, and if I wasn't afraid the bridge was falling on top of me."
" What?"
" It would seem someone with a superhero complex was under the impression that I fell in and needed to be saved."
" OMG, please tell me it was Mr. Hot and Sexy who jumped in to save you," Tressa asked, bouncing on the couch with excitement.
" How did you know he was still in town?" I asked, surprised that was the natural conclusion she would reach.
" Hello. You do know this is Woodfalls, right? I could tell you who took a shit yesterday and who was constipated. The whole town is buzzing about the mysterious journalist who's decided to stick around in the boonies for a while. According to a very reliable source, he's super private and won't even let the maid service come in to clean his room. He has them drop off clean towels and sheets in the morning and leaves the dirty ones outside the door of his room," she said in an excited rush. "So, was he your knight in shining armor?"
" Wow, you're like Google, your knowledge knows no bounds," I joked, ignoring the way my heart rate had kicked into hyperdrive at the knowledge that he was sticking around for a while.
At my comment , she reached over and whacked me with the remote.
"Bitch , that hurt," I complained, rubbing my sore leg. "Fine," I said when she held up the remote again. "Yes, it was him. He nearly scared the shit out of me, jumping in after me like that. I was under the water when I heard a big-ass splash behind me. I was convinced that damn bridge was coming down."
" So, you're telling me this guy also has a hero complex? God, that's rich. Now I'm super bummed I didn't take him first the other night. I wouldn't mind a little mouth-to-mouth if you catch my drift."
" I'd have to be in a mineshaft, hundreds of miles beneath the earth not to catch your drift," I answered dryly. "It was sweet, but I'm not looking for some heavy relationship."
" Honey, neither am I, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun in the meantime. He's obviously panting after you like a dog. Use him for mind-blowing sex and move on," she said, grabbing a third slice of pizza.
"Y ou sound like Fran. Aren't small-town girls supposed to have a higher sense of morals or something?"
" Honey, it's Sunday. Do you see me at any kind of church? Nope. My lack of morals was exposed many years ago. That and the fact that I may or may not have corrupted some of the boys when I was younger may have me on the 'we need to pray for her soul' list at all three churches in town. Seriously though, they act like skinny-dipping in the baptism pool is frowned upon," she quipped, winking at me outrageously.
" Nuh-uh, please tell me you didn't," I asked, torn between laughter and horror. I wasn't a churchgoer, but I'm sure that pretty much ranked up there with
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