the Nelson home. For this reason, their whispering intrigued me. I’ve been waiting months to get more out of them than mumbles. If this was how I had to get information, I figured, then this was good enough. The conversation went something like this, don’t quote me, it was garbled, and Jeremiah was running around like a maniac through most of it.
“You know there’s no way she’ll let you. She’s bitching about us right now to that lady again,” Faith said. “I wouldn’t even bother asking. Just do it and if you get caught, so what?”
“If I ask her, though, she can’t go calling—mumble, mumble—the stupid probation officer again. You know she looks for reasons to get us in trouble,” Laina responded.
“I hear ya, but if she does that, then fuck her. It’s not like we don’t have all the power here. What can she really do? Besides, your JPO loves you.”
Both girls giggled. “You’re—mumble—right. We just come up with more charges. And he did this—mumble, mumble—and this and this. She’ll never see him again.”
“Exactly! I’m sick of this,” Faith said.
That line, the one about power, still sticks with me. “It’s not like we don’t have all the power here.” Faith was the last one I’d have bet that would come from. Of the two of them, Faith is the one who looks most innocent. Laina makes her wild child side known, complete with piercings all over her face and burgundy purple hair. But Faith appears like a conservative, girl-next-door type. With her face always planted in a book, her silver wire reading glasses only add to the blameless appearance. Even now, I look at her, and think, she can’t be lying, can she?
The truth is that I want to believe them. It’s my job to help abused and neglected kids. But when you watch the other kids—Mary and Jeremiah, even Noelle and Jada—with their father, you know something is off. It’s not making my job or life very easy these days. In fact, my job would be a heck of a lot easier if I did believe them. I wish I could, really.
When Tom was charged and eventually found guilty, DCYF kept my agency on to work with the family. My assignment is to help Heather and the girls make peace with one another and finally figure out a way to work together as a family unit again. On the surface, it sounds easy. Normally it would be. A little family therapy, some role play activities, clear expectations and boundaries, a lot of talk therapy. A magic formula and presto, problem solved. Next? But this is different. This time, I can’t look myself in the mirror and look Heather in the eye with the things I’ve heard. Sure, I could pretend I thought he was guilty like everyone else, spread the magic potion, get in and get out. Trouble is, my heart won’t let me. How do you ask a mother to be okay with her daughters blatantly manipulating the system and destroying their own family for no other reason than to be “free” from typical—granted a little more strict than usual—parental rules? If you’re like me, you can’t.
Each week, I meet with Heather and try to be polite with the girls. I try to engage them in conversation and am generally met with cold stares or even dirty looks. Sometimes, when they are on their best behavior, they just ignore me. Faith sits with her battered arms crossed over her chest and Laina glares at me from across the kitchen table—one eye on the clock that Jeremiah made Heather for Christmas assisted by his father. Meetings usually consist of Heather eventually kicking the girls out of the kitchen and whispers of “how am I supposed to handle them?” and “they are so disrespectful to me, you should hear the names they called me today.” It’s taken time, but Heather and I have become unusually close. I love that she trusts me. I love that I can trust her too.
I thought I was making progress with Faith when she agreed to go to a private therapist. It took three months to set that appointment up. But on the
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