Read Online New Beginnings (New Beginnings Series) by Doreen Winona Logeot - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Doreen Winona Logeot
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she looked back. Being alone for so long, she was terrified of ending up by herself again. She had no one, not here, not in New Brunswick. She knew it was true, she was the loneliest woman west of Winnipeg, maybe in all the country and it fell heavily on her now. “Please, Sam, don’t hate me, too.”
“God, Sara, how can you think that?” he said, taking both of her hands in his, bringing them up to his mouth and gently touching his lips to each. She couldn’t answer him, but her eyes seemed to plead. He saw how deep the pain really went. Not only had she lost all of those babies and was so terrified it would happen again, but like him, she was abandoned, left to survive on her own.
The kettle started to boil on the stove and he turned to it, “You think I could make porridge if you tell me how?” She nodded and smiled back at him.
They both sat at the table for breakfast in the morning. The porridge was actually very good and even though they ate around an occasional lump, Sara told him it was much better than her first attempt. She tried to offer help to do the dishes, but Sam refused, saying if they were to go back to Brandon tomorrow she must get lots of rest to be ready to travel. He was surprised she didn’t refuse going back to town with him.
As she climbed back in under the covers, she wondered out loud, “I don’t know why I’m so tired this time. It didn’t seem to take so long to get over having a baby before and he was so small.”
Sam turned from his job at the basin. “Doc Brown said the baby was breach. He said you probably wouldn’t have managed to have it on your own.” He hesitated for a moment before asking, “How long were you in labour? It must have been a long time.”
Sara looked at the clock, which sat on the shelf by the cupboards and saw it had stopped from not being wound. “What time did you get here, Sam? Was it morning or night?”
“It was yesterday morning. About half past eight, I guess. Doc came out about an hour later and the baby was born a few minutes after.”
“I guess it was about thirty-two hours. I knew something was wrong. I thought I was going to die. I guess, this time you saved my life, Sam.”
“You did that for thirty-two hours?” He walked over to the bed again and sat down beside her. He set the pot he was drying on the chair next to them. “If only I came sooner.” He pulled her up to him and held her tightly.
Sara whispered, “Thank you for caring enough to come at all.”
Sam held her, hearing those words over and over again, echoing in his mind, “caring enough ... caring enough ... caring enough.” When had he felt concern for anyone before? It seemed he was only interested in someone if it was a benefit to him. If he was paying her back for helping him, as he told himself before, he probably wouldn’t have ridden to her home with a bad leg, in the cold, in the dark. There were so many things he did for Sara he wouldn’t consider doing for anyone else. A little while ago he felt like walking away from it, she told him there would be no physical reward, ever. Suddenly he let himself believe it was beyond caring for her. He loved her. As much as he liked the feeling, it suddenly scared him. What if he had lost her? He pulled back slightly and placed a quick kiss on the nape of her neck.
She lay down, placing her head on the well-worn pillow. Her eyes looked deeply into his, trying to read what he was thinking, but she could not. “Sam,” she paused, “I’ll have to bury the baby.”
“I don’t know where it is. Maybe the doc took it back to town.” Sam was uneasy.
“I know where he is. Lily placed him in the cradle in the other room where it is cool. She did it for me before when the last baby was stillborn.”
Sam went into the next room and found a tiny bundle lying in the cradle as Sara said it would be. Without moving it, he went back into the kitchen. “It will take me a while. The ground is frozen fairly
“God, Sara, how can you think that?” he said, taking both of her hands in his, bringing them up to his mouth and gently touching his lips to each. She couldn’t answer him, but her eyes seemed to plead. He saw how deep the pain really went. Not only had she lost all of those babies and was so terrified it would happen again, but like him, she was abandoned, left to survive on her own.
The kettle started to boil on the stove and he turned to it, “You think I could make porridge if you tell me how?” She nodded and smiled back at him.
They both sat at the table for breakfast in the morning. The porridge was actually very good and even though they ate around an occasional lump, Sara told him it was much better than her first attempt. She tried to offer help to do the dishes, but Sam refused, saying if they were to go back to Brandon tomorrow she must get lots of rest to be ready to travel. He was surprised she didn’t refuse going back to town with him.
As she climbed back in under the covers, she wondered out loud, “I don’t know why I’m so tired this time. It didn’t seem to take so long to get over having a baby before and he was so small.”
Sam turned from his job at the basin. “Doc Brown said the baby was breach. He said you probably wouldn’t have managed to have it on your own.” He hesitated for a moment before asking, “How long were you in labour? It must have been a long time.”
Sara looked at the clock, which sat on the shelf by the cupboards and saw it had stopped from not being wound. “What time did you get here, Sam? Was it morning or night?”
“It was yesterday morning. About half past eight, I guess. Doc came out about an hour later and the baby was born a few minutes after.”
“I guess it was about thirty-two hours. I knew something was wrong. I thought I was going to die. I guess, this time you saved my life, Sam.”
“You did that for thirty-two hours?” He walked over to the bed again and sat down beside her. He set the pot he was drying on the chair next to them. “If only I came sooner.” He pulled her up to him and held her tightly.
Sara whispered, “Thank you for caring enough to come at all.”
Sam held her, hearing those words over and over again, echoing in his mind, “caring enough ... caring enough ... caring enough.” When had he felt concern for anyone before? It seemed he was only interested in someone if it was a benefit to him. If he was paying her back for helping him, as he told himself before, he probably wouldn’t have ridden to her home with a bad leg, in the cold, in the dark. There were so many things he did for Sara he wouldn’t consider doing for anyone else. A little while ago he felt like walking away from it, she told him there would be no physical reward, ever. Suddenly he let himself believe it was beyond caring for her. He loved her. As much as he liked the feeling, it suddenly scared him. What if he had lost her? He pulled back slightly and placed a quick kiss on the nape of her neck.
She lay down, placing her head on the well-worn pillow. Her eyes looked deeply into his, trying to read what he was thinking, but she could not. “Sam,” she paused, “I’ll have to bury the baby.”
“I don’t know where it is. Maybe the doc took it back to town.” Sam was uneasy.
“I know where he is. Lily placed him in the cradle in the other room where it is cool. She did it for me before when the last baby was stillborn.”
Sam went into the next room and found a tiny bundle lying in the cradle as Sara said it would be. Without moving it, he went back into the kitchen. “It will take me a while. The ground is frozen fairly
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