saying to myself, what heaven did this angel fall from? I must have said it out loud because he immediately replied, my name isnât Angel, Iâm Walter now and Iâve come to save you, and I replied, no kidding, pleased to hear it, itâs about time things started moving upstairs, Iâve been waiting for years, how long have you had my details, but then I guess the Eternal Commander, the Big Enchilada, sometimes takes his time, right? but well, better late than never, so letâs take it one step at a time, if youâve really come to save me the first thing you have to do is transfer fifty dollars into my account, and my account is right here in my pocket, the number is zero one, you could make the transfer by telepathy but the machineâs out of order, so itâll be better if you do it by hand, which is the most efficient method, and then, when the moneyâs gone in, weâll be able to sit down like two civilized people and talk about God or Muhammad or Madonnaâs lesbian cousin, whatever you like, and he said, no, my friend, thatâs not the way it goes, thatâs not the kind of salvation I came to bring you, weâre going to have to understand each other, but I interrupted him irritably and said, is there any other kind? donât come here and get my hopes up, get out of here, you huckster, the Grim Reaper prowls these frozen cellblocks, get out now and donât come back, but he insisted, you donât understand, my friend, the Big Man wonât help you if you donât beg forgiveness first, you need Him more than He needs you, remember that, itâs your life thatâs in the mud, or rather, in the shit, but you possess something wonderful, and thatâs free will, my friend, what did you do with that? and I said, get out of here with your spiel, and Iâll pass on this information, the cellblock you want is number nine, plenty of faggots there, all races, put some oil in your ass first, just in case, now leave me alone, goodbye, I donât have time for faggots, and he said, of course you do, and he gave me a punch in the face that by some miracle didnât knock my nose upside down, and I fell to the ground.
My first reaction was to take out my weapon, a fork that Iâd sharpened on a stone, but before I could lift it even an inch he hit me three more times, making my head whirl, and smashing me against the wall so that I fell again, unconscious this time. A moment later I opened my eyes and saw his foot, with his huge body attached to it. From down there on the ground, he looked like a giant. I tried to get up but he put his boot on my neck and said, beg God for forgiveness or Iâll break your neck right now, you insulted Him, count to ten, and he began, one, two, three, and he pressed down on me with his foot. I felt a sour taste in my mouth, I could hardly breathe, and I fainted, gently drifted away God knows where, and I didnât know anything more until I opened my eyes and found I was lying on a table.
A whole lot of inmates were near me, crying: Dead man walking! Dead man walking!
I sat up and saw him.
I saw the impressive image of Christ tattooed on his back, because as I was recovering consciousness heâd started doing a series of silent exercises, like an animal gearing up for a fight in which it may lose its life. I got down off the table and looked for my fork, thinking to attack quickly, stick it in under his ribs and kill him stone dead, but when I was halfway he turned his eyes on me, my friends, and what can I tell you, they were like two streams of fire, like the swords the Jedi use in
Star Wars
, something you really canât define, and I mean that. I couldnât retreat because the whole cellblock was following the fight and placing bets. If Iâd chickened out Iâd have lost respect and the consequence, as everyone knows, would have been to suck cocks for the rest of the year in the toilets or be
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