Why was he back? Did he remember her? Was he looking at her? That last thought made the corners of Nan’s mouth turn down.
The dress Laura had picked fit in all the wrong places; tight across her fanny and loose across her top. Her underwear had shifted uncomfortably at some point during her pirouette coming down the aisle and she had to physically resist the urge to slide them back into place. Instead she pulled in her stomach, tightened her thighs and turned a hair to the right. She’d read somewhere that standing at a three-quarter turn provided the most flattering view, so Nan stood mannequin-like in this manner.
Reverend Flaherty continued for what seemed a long time, near to the point Nan thought she might pass out for lack of a good deep breath. He eventually finished with a prayer, and when the last ‘amen’ was murmured, Arthur kissed Laura tenderly before turning toward the cheering guests. As the couple started toward the door, the maid of honor and John followed them. Nan let her breath out and took her place next to Buddy. She’d already begun preparing herself for the inevitable series of questions from him, but her brother surprised her.
“Nice footwork there Nancy-pants,” he said smirking.
“Just wait until I hit the dance floor,” Nan joked, relieved he didn’t start right in on her about Charlie. “You aint’ seen nothin’ yet.”
“Seriously though, you okay? Sounded like Babe Ruth knocked one out of the park when you hit your elbow. Musta’ hurt like hell, huh?”
“Yeah, not too awful bad though. My pride took a worse beating than my elbow.”
Although Nan said this in jest, a little voice inside of her reminded that pride was something she could ill-afford to lose more of. Elbows? At least she had two of those.
They didn’t talk anymore but headed out to the courtyard and took their places in the receiving line. Nan’s mother and Joe came out of the church and passed by, but Elsie was whispering into Joe’s ear and paid Nan no notice. She could tell by her mother’s tented upper lip and discreet tone of voice that she was busy tearing someone apart. Although Joe looked as disinterested as humanly possible, he kept his ear near his wife and let Elsie go on.
As the church emptied in a flurry of air kisses, a heavy feeling worked its way into Nan’s stomach. She’d lost the ability to come up with even one engaging thing to say to Charlie when she saw him. Everything she thought of sounded too stupid, too gushy or too bitchy. Nothing sounded right. She began to grasp madly for words, but as the last of the guests filed by, Nan realized that Charlie was no longer among them. She strained her neck to peer back into the still open doors, but saw no one left in the building.
Until that moment, she’d tossed and turned the idea of seeing Charlie again, pretending on the surface that it was just a nice diversion to the predictable path her life had become. But now that he was gone, disappointment threatened to overwhelm her, and Nan had to admit she felt sad. Did he leave because of her? Did he feel uncomfortable about seeing her? Was it the stupid dress? She harangued herself for being so narcissistic and blamed his disappearance on some prior commitment he must have had. Either way, she wouldn’t see him, and that left her feeling a little lost.
After almost an hour of staged photographs, through most of which Nan wore a distracted expression, they finally headed back to the house. She rode with Elsie and Joe, sitting in the backseat next to CJ. Nan ignored her mother’s rapid-fire list of things that needed checking on when they arrived home and concentrated instead on packing away her memories of Charlie.
When Joe pulled into the driveway, Nan leapt from the car, longing for a cigarette to tamp the melancholy surrounding her. She ran up the stairs two at a time, no easy feat in the ill-fitting dress, and into her room, slamming the door behind her. Nan knew she’d only
The dress Laura had picked fit in all the wrong places; tight across her fanny and loose across her top. Her underwear had shifted uncomfortably at some point during her pirouette coming down the aisle and she had to physically resist the urge to slide them back into place. Instead she pulled in her stomach, tightened her thighs and turned a hair to the right. She’d read somewhere that standing at a three-quarter turn provided the most flattering view, so Nan stood mannequin-like in this manner.
Reverend Flaherty continued for what seemed a long time, near to the point Nan thought she might pass out for lack of a good deep breath. He eventually finished with a prayer, and when the last ‘amen’ was murmured, Arthur kissed Laura tenderly before turning toward the cheering guests. As the couple started toward the door, the maid of honor and John followed them. Nan let her breath out and took her place next to Buddy. She’d already begun preparing herself for the inevitable series of questions from him, but her brother surprised her.
“Nice footwork there Nancy-pants,” he said smirking.
“Just wait until I hit the dance floor,” Nan joked, relieved he didn’t start right in on her about Charlie. “You aint’ seen nothin’ yet.”
“Seriously though, you okay? Sounded like Babe Ruth knocked one out of the park when you hit your elbow. Musta’ hurt like hell, huh?”
“Yeah, not too awful bad though. My pride took a worse beating than my elbow.”
Although Nan said this in jest, a little voice inside of her reminded that pride was something she could ill-afford to lose more of. Elbows? At least she had two of those.
They didn’t talk anymore but headed out to the courtyard and took their places in the receiving line. Nan’s mother and Joe came out of the church and passed by, but Elsie was whispering into Joe’s ear and paid Nan no notice. She could tell by her mother’s tented upper lip and discreet tone of voice that she was busy tearing someone apart. Although Joe looked as disinterested as humanly possible, he kept his ear near his wife and let Elsie go on.
As the church emptied in a flurry of air kisses, a heavy feeling worked its way into Nan’s stomach. She’d lost the ability to come up with even one engaging thing to say to Charlie when she saw him. Everything she thought of sounded too stupid, too gushy or too bitchy. Nothing sounded right. She began to grasp madly for words, but as the last of the guests filed by, Nan realized that Charlie was no longer among them. She strained her neck to peer back into the still open doors, but saw no one left in the building.
Until that moment, she’d tossed and turned the idea of seeing Charlie again, pretending on the surface that it was just a nice diversion to the predictable path her life had become. But now that he was gone, disappointment threatened to overwhelm her, and Nan had to admit she felt sad. Did he leave because of her? Did he feel uncomfortable about seeing her? Was it the stupid dress? She harangued herself for being so narcissistic and blamed his disappearance on some prior commitment he must have had. Either way, she wouldn’t see him, and that left her feeling a little lost.
After almost an hour of staged photographs, through most of which Nan wore a distracted expression, they finally headed back to the house. She rode with Elsie and Joe, sitting in the backseat next to CJ. Nan ignored her mother’s rapid-fire list of things that needed checking on when they arrived home and concentrated instead on packing away her memories of Charlie.
When Joe pulled into the driveway, Nan leapt from the car, longing for a cigarette to tamp the melancholy surrounding her. She ran up the stairs two at a time, no easy feat in the ill-fitting dress, and into her room, slamming the door behind her. Nan knew she’d only
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