was red and swollen, and wondered if it might be fractured. Bruised or broken, she knew her brothers were going to have a field day with this one.
Laura’s sister began walking toward them and Nan slid a peek over at CJ. He wasn’t looking at her anymore, preoccupied with tilting the ring pillow from side to side and watching the gold bands flip back and forth. He and Lily had played their parts perfectly and there was no display of frilly pink panties this morning.
As the music changed and strains of the processional began, Nan looked up toward the doorway. Everyone stood for the entering bride, and despite some part of her that said ‘leave it alone’ she started looking for Charlie. She found him right away, standing in a row toward the middle. A part in the guests allowed her to see him full profile and her heart picked up pace. Charlie’s hair was far shorter than she’d ever seen him wear it, but was still the same mahogany color. His cleanly shaven face revealed the full lips she remembered so well, and she could see them turned up in a slight smile. He wore a crisp white uniform with navy blue trim on the cuffs, and the badges on his shoulders were embroidered with two white stripes and a star.
Behind his back Charlie held on to an officer’s cap, loosely swinging it pendulum-like to and fro on his fingertips. Mesmerized, Nan found herself trying to see his left hand and catch a glimpse of a ring. Stop it , she silently hissed at herself. Before last night, it had been years since she’d even thought of Charlie, two years to be precise, but she couldn’t deny how unsettled she was at the prospect of seeing him. It wasn’t like Charlie was some guy she just met up with on the street. There was history there. He knew her in a way that only a childhood friend could, and that made him different.
Different or not, whatever might have been between them had long since vanished, bricked away behind Nan’s recent past. With her future sealed off in much the same way, it would be impossible to give life to the longing awakened within her. Things were what they were, or as her father may have said, a mirror doesn’t lie.
Nan felt eyes watching her and turned away from Charlie. It was Buddy standing to Arthur’s left, one eyebrow cocked and lips pressed tightly. The pink returned to Nan’s cheeks and she looked at the floor. Her initial reactions were a strong sense of deference laced with a healthy dose of guilt. But Nan was taken aback by another, fresh ingredient in the mix: indignation.
Just how stupid did Buddy think she was? Yes, Nan had screwed up badly, there was no denying that, but she knew how high the stakes were now. For both she and Buddy. However, did that mean she had to give up her memories along with her freedom? Was she not even allowed to fantasize about a life that could never be hers? Without knowing all that there was to know between Nan and Charlie, Buddy still looked at her as if he’d just witnessed a crime.
Dousing the wave of annoyance, Nan concluded that Buddy was right as usual. There was no room for her to waste time in this way, especially if it got her thinking about things out of her reach. And why rile Buddy up unnecessarily? After all that he’d done, keeping her wits about her was the least she could do. She winked and flashed a forced smile at her brother, wanting to convey to him that she had everything under control. No worries here, the wink said. Buddy didn’t smile back but his face seemed to soften a bit. A little bit. Clearly, it was going to take more to ease his mind. Also, there was a pretty good chance she was going to come face to face with Charlie today and needed to figure out a way to handle that well.
She tried to stay focused on the ceremony, she really did, but Nan found herself barely listening to the minister. She thought about Buddy, her mother and CJ, but despite her best efforts, found herself drawn once again toward Charlie. Where had he been?
Laura’s sister began walking toward them and Nan slid a peek over at CJ. He wasn’t looking at her anymore, preoccupied with tilting the ring pillow from side to side and watching the gold bands flip back and forth. He and Lily had played their parts perfectly and there was no display of frilly pink panties this morning.
As the music changed and strains of the processional began, Nan looked up toward the doorway. Everyone stood for the entering bride, and despite some part of her that said ‘leave it alone’ she started looking for Charlie. She found him right away, standing in a row toward the middle. A part in the guests allowed her to see him full profile and her heart picked up pace. Charlie’s hair was far shorter than she’d ever seen him wear it, but was still the same mahogany color. His cleanly shaven face revealed the full lips she remembered so well, and she could see them turned up in a slight smile. He wore a crisp white uniform with navy blue trim on the cuffs, and the badges on his shoulders were embroidered with two white stripes and a star.
Behind his back Charlie held on to an officer’s cap, loosely swinging it pendulum-like to and fro on his fingertips. Mesmerized, Nan found herself trying to see his left hand and catch a glimpse of a ring. Stop it , she silently hissed at herself. Before last night, it had been years since she’d even thought of Charlie, two years to be precise, but she couldn’t deny how unsettled she was at the prospect of seeing him. It wasn’t like Charlie was some guy she just met up with on the street. There was history there. He knew her in a way that only a childhood friend could, and that made him different.
Different or not, whatever might have been between them had long since vanished, bricked away behind Nan’s recent past. With her future sealed off in much the same way, it would be impossible to give life to the longing awakened within her. Things were what they were, or as her father may have said, a mirror doesn’t lie.
Nan felt eyes watching her and turned away from Charlie. It was Buddy standing to Arthur’s left, one eyebrow cocked and lips pressed tightly. The pink returned to Nan’s cheeks and she looked at the floor. Her initial reactions were a strong sense of deference laced with a healthy dose of guilt. But Nan was taken aback by another, fresh ingredient in the mix: indignation.
Just how stupid did Buddy think she was? Yes, Nan had screwed up badly, there was no denying that, but she knew how high the stakes were now. For both she and Buddy. However, did that mean she had to give up her memories along with her freedom? Was she not even allowed to fantasize about a life that could never be hers? Without knowing all that there was to know between Nan and Charlie, Buddy still looked at her as if he’d just witnessed a crime.
Dousing the wave of annoyance, Nan concluded that Buddy was right as usual. There was no room for her to waste time in this way, especially if it got her thinking about things out of her reach. And why rile Buddy up unnecessarily? After all that he’d done, keeping her wits about her was the least she could do. She winked and flashed a forced smile at her brother, wanting to convey to him that she had everything under control. No worries here, the wink said. Buddy didn’t smile back but his face seemed to soften a bit. A little bit. Clearly, it was going to take more to ease his mind. Also, there was a pretty good chance she was going to come face to face with Charlie today and needed to figure out a way to handle that well.
She tried to stay focused on the ceremony, she really did, but Nan found herself barely listening to the minister. She thought about Buddy, her mother and CJ, but despite her best efforts, found herself drawn once again toward Charlie. Where had he been?
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