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Authors: R. A. Spratt
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house.’
Samantha gasped. She knew what this meant to a pig.
‘If she could force children to exercise on a rainy day then she was capable of anything,’ said Boris.
‘So does that mean we can go home and stop pretending to be Buzzy Bees?’ asked Samantha. ‘Lady Marigold Pickford has been dead for years and years, so there’s nothing we can do about the stolen recipe now.’
‘Nothing we can do?!’ said Nanny Piggins disbelievingly. ‘There are a million things we can do!’
‘There are?’ asked Samantha, starting to worry.
‘First of all, we have to get revenge,’ said Nanny Piggins.
‘Of course,’ said Boris, because he was Russian and revenge was big in Russia.
‘But it’s only a biscuit recipe,’ said Samantha. ‘Wouldn’t it be easier to forget about it?’
‘Forget about it?!’ exploded Nanny Piggins, then, quickly struggling to control herself, continued. ‘Sorry, I don’t mean to yell. I know it’s not your fault. It’s the way you’re raised. Humans have no principles. But I am a pig. I have my family honourto maintain. It is my duty to exact revenge.’
‘But how?’ asked Samantha.
‘Just watch,’ said Nanny Piggins darkly as she climbed up on a chair and addressed the whole group. ‘Attention, everybody. I have decided to destroy the Buzzy Bees by starting my own rival organisation – the Pig Scouts!’
And that is exactly what she did. As it turned out the Pig Scouts was actually a brilliant idea. In a few short weeks they became much more popular than the Buzzy Bees. Because, as the large Pig Scout posters Nanny Piggins stuck up all over town made clear, the Pig Scouts had a much more sensible philosophy. The Buzzy Bees were always taught to ‘be prepared’ but Nanny Piggins taught the Pig Scouts to ‘be un prepared’. Because being unprepared made life much more interesting.
While the Buzzy Bees taught girls how to light fires, the Pig Scouts learnt to put out fires. Which, as Nanny Piggins said, ‘is a much more important skill. Anyone can light a fire. I do it all the time. Sometimes without even realising, whereas putting a fire out can be quite hard work.’
The Buzzy Bees earned badges for ‘Needlepoint’, ‘Orienteering’ and ‘Semaphore’. All completely useless skills according to Nanny Piggins. So the Pig Scouts earned badges for really important things like ‘Eating’, ‘More eating’ and ‘Digestion’. And most importantly, Pig Scouts were taught to keep these badges in a drawer. And never ever sew them on their clothes, because it would only ruin a designer outfit.
The uniform of the Pig Scouts was much better than the Buzzy Bee uniform. ‘Our uniform is to wear no uniform,’ said Nanny Piggins at their first meeting. ‘Everyone has to dress differently. In fact, if any two girls turn up to Pig Scouts wearing the same clothes they will be immediately sent home to change.’ This did tend to delay the start of meetings quite a lot, but it was worth it because everybody looked fabulous.
Instead of ‘Dollar-for-Deeds’ week, where Buzzy Bees asked friends and neighbours for money in exchange for doing household chores, the Pig Scouts had ‘Dollar-for-No-Deeds’, where they got people to pay them for not doing household chores. This was an enormous success. It turns out most people would much rather not have their car washed, floor swept or lawn raked by a small child who has no idea what they are doing.
But most importantly of all, the Pig Scouts planned their own biscuit drive. And in her bid to totally cripple the Buzzy Bees, Nanny Piggins came up with a master stroke. She took her great-great-granny’s biscuit recipe and made it even more delicious (by adding choc-chips). Nanny Piggins knew that once the Pig Scout biscuits went on sale, no-one would ever want to buy a Buzzy Bee biscuit again.
So by the end of the month, Nanny Piggins had brought all the local Buzzy Bee units to their knees. The only girls turning up to
Samantha gasped. She knew what this meant to a pig.
‘If she could force children to exercise on a rainy day then she was capable of anything,’ said Boris.
‘So does that mean we can go home and stop pretending to be Buzzy Bees?’ asked Samantha. ‘Lady Marigold Pickford has been dead for years and years, so there’s nothing we can do about the stolen recipe now.’
‘Nothing we can do?!’ said Nanny Piggins disbelievingly. ‘There are a million things we can do!’
‘There are?’ asked Samantha, starting to worry.
‘First of all, we have to get revenge,’ said Nanny Piggins.
‘Of course,’ said Boris, because he was Russian and revenge was big in Russia.
‘But it’s only a biscuit recipe,’ said Samantha. ‘Wouldn’t it be easier to forget about it?’
‘Forget about it?!’ exploded Nanny Piggins, then, quickly struggling to control herself, continued. ‘Sorry, I don’t mean to yell. I know it’s not your fault. It’s the way you’re raised. Humans have no principles. But I am a pig. I have my family honourto maintain. It is my duty to exact revenge.’
‘But how?’ asked Samantha.
‘Just watch,’ said Nanny Piggins darkly as she climbed up on a chair and addressed the whole group. ‘Attention, everybody. I have decided to destroy the Buzzy Bees by starting my own rival organisation – the Pig Scouts!’
And that is exactly what she did. As it turned out the Pig Scouts was actually a brilliant idea. In a few short weeks they became much more popular than the Buzzy Bees. Because, as the large Pig Scout posters Nanny Piggins stuck up all over town made clear, the Pig Scouts had a much more sensible philosophy. The Buzzy Bees were always taught to ‘be prepared’ but Nanny Piggins taught the Pig Scouts to ‘be un prepared’. Because being unprepared made life much more interesting.
While the Buzzy Bees taught girls how to light fires, the Pig Scouts learnt to put out fires. Which, as Nanny Piggins said, ‘is a much more important skill. Anyone can light a fire. I do it all the time. Sometimes without even realising, whereas putting a fire out can be quite hard work.’
The Buzzy Bees earned badges for ‘Needlepoint’, ‘Orienteering’ and ‘Semaphore’. All completely useless skills according to Nanny Piggins. So the Pig Scouts earned badges for really important things like ‘Eating’, ‘More eating’ and ‘Digestion’. And most importantly, Pig Scouts were taught to keep these badges in a drawer. And never ever sew them on their clothes, because it would only ruin a designer outfit.
The uniform of the Pig Scouts was much better than the Buzzy Bee uniform. ‘Our uniform is to wear no uniform,’ said Nanny Piggins at their first meeting. ‘Everyone has to dress differently. In fact, if any two girls turn up to Pig Scouts wearing the same clothes they will be immediately sent home to change.’ This did tend to delay the start of meetings quite a lot, but it was worth it because everybody looked fabulous.
Instead of ‘Dollar-for-Deeds’ week, where Buzzy Bees asked friends and neighbours for money in exchange for doing household chores, the Pig Scouts had ‘Dollar-for-No-Deeds’, where they got people to pay them for not doing household chores. This was an enormous success. It turns out most people would much rather not have their car washed, floor swept or lawn raked by a small child who has no idea what they are doing.
But most importantly of all, the Pig Scouts planned their own biscuit drive. And in her bid to totally cripple the Buzzy Bees, Nanny Piggins came up with a master stroke. She took her great-great-granny’s biscuit recipe and made it even more delicious (by adding choc-chips). Nanny Piggins knew that once the Pig Scout biscuits went on sale, no-one would ever want to buy a Buzzy Bee biscuit again.
So by the end of the month, Nanny Piggins had brought all the local Buzzy Bee units to their knees. The only girls turning up to
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