say in a sort of groan. I so agree don’t you—I think natural scenery is THE END.’
27th December: ‘Hamish and I… have had a complete reconciliation, everything is now as merry as a marriage bell. He has left Oxford and is looking for a job, to my relief as I hated his beastly little room there.’
4th February, 1931: ‘Hamish’s family, behaving with their usual caddery, have taken him away for ever to America. I’ve broken off the engagement. So there you have the situation in a nutshell .’
‘I tried to commit suicide by gas, it is a lovely sensation just like taking anaesthetic so I shan’t be sorry any more for school mistresses who are found dead in that way, but just in the middle I thought that Romie [Drury-Lowe] who I was staying with might have a miscarriage which would be disappointing for her so I got back to bed and was sick. Then next day I thought it would be silly because we love each other so much everything will probably be all right in the end…’
‘I’ve made friends with a sweet and divine old tart called Madame de P.—she rang a young man up the other day at 11 a.m. and said, “What a dull night it’s been let’s do some thing.” She is nice and has lovely parties and adores Hamish who confides in her and then she tells it all to me which is lucky because it is things I like hearing. But I am really very unhappy because there is no one to tell the funny things that happen to one and that is half the fun in life don’t you agree… I’m in the state in which I can’t be alone but the moment I’m with other people I want to get away from them… How can I possibly write a funny book in the next six months which my publisher says I
must
do. How
can
I when I’ve got practically a pain from being miserable and cry in buses quite continually? I’m sorry to inflict this dreary letter on you, as a matter of fact everyone here thinks I don’t mind at all—rather a strain but I think the only attitude don’t you agree.’
From 34 Great Cumberland Place, 28th February: ‘It is too awful for me because Hamish, instead of staying a few months in America as he was to have done is returning next week. Itwill be ghastly seeing him everywhere. Also I think he’ll try and make it up again which I’m determined not to do at present. So everything is very complicated. I had a long letter from him written before he got mine breaking it off, he seems to be enjoying himself…
Highland Fling
comes out on the 12th…’
From Old Mill Cottage, 15th March: ‘Hamish has come back and it is all too frightful, we met at a party and of course it all began over again. Heaven knows what will happen in the end, he seems at present to be busy drinking himself to death saying “my bulwarks (that’s me) have gone”. We aren’t seeing each other at all. I suppose it will have to be the gas oven in the end, one can’t bear more than a certain amount of unhappiness.’
‘The book is doing well I’m glad to say, has had very good notices already… Everyone thinks your cover too good, a dreadful man said to me, “I must buy your book, it has such an amusing cover.”… I’ve just spilt a mass of ink on Muv’s favourite carpet and am sitting with my foot on the place hoping she won’t notice. She will soon of course. Oh dear.
‘They have been simply too odious lately, and had a fearful row the other day ending up by accusing me of drinking. I must say I do go to awful sorts of parties so I’m not surprised they are in a state, but if one can’t be happy one must be amused don’t you agree. Besides I always have John [Sutro] to chaperone me. I must go and take the dogs for a walk. P.S. The gas story is quite true, it makes Robert [Byron] laugh so much.’
28th March, 1931: ‘If I can pass the tests etc I have been engaged to act in a film in Kashmir, leaving London for three months at the end of May… I expect I shall be longing to see a human face by then, as my co-actors, the ones
27th December: ‘Hamish and I… have had a complete reconciliation, everything is now as merry as a marriage bell. He has left Oxford and is looking for a job, to my relief as I hated his beastly little room there.’
4th February, 1931: ‘Hamish’s family, behaving with their usual caddery, have taken him away for ever to America. I’ve broken off the engagement. So there you have the situation in a nutshell .’
‘I tried to commit suicide by gas, it is a lovely sensation just like taking anaesthetic so I shan’t be sorry any more for school mistresses who are found dead in that way, but just in the middle I thought that Romie [Drury-Lowe] who I was staying with might have a miscarriage which would be disappointing for her so I got back to bed and was sick. Then next day I thought it would be silly because we love each other so much everything will probably be all right in the end…’
‘I’ve made friends with a sweet and divine old tart called Madame de P.—she rang a young man up the other day at 11 a.m. and said, “What a dull night it’s been let’s do some thing.” She is nice and has lovely parties and adores Hamish who confides in her and then she tells it all to me which is lucky because it is things I like hearing. But I am really very unhappy because there is no one to tell the funny things that happen to one and that is half the fun in life don’t you agree… I’m in the state in which I can’t be alone but the moment I’m with other people I want to get away from them… How can I possibly write a funny book in the next six months which my publisher says I
must
do. How
can
I when I’ve got practically a pain from being miserable and cry in buses quite continually? I’m sorry to inflict this dreary letter on you, as a matter of fact everyone here thinks I don’t mind at all—rather a strain but I think the only attitude don’t you agree.’
From 34 Great Cumberland Place, 28th February: ‘It is too awful for me because Hamish, instead of staying a few months in America as he was to have done is returning next week. Itwill be ghastly seeing him everywhere. Also I think he’ll try and make it up again which I’m determined not to do at present. So everything is very complicated. I had a long letter from him written before he got mine breaking it off, he seems to be enjoying himself…
Highland Fling
comes out on the 12th…’
From Old Mill Cottage, 15th March: ‘Hamish has come back and it is all too frightful, we met at a party and of course it all began over again. Heaven knows what will happen in the end, he seems at present to be busy drinking himself to death saying “my bulwarks (that’s me) have gone”. We aren’t seeing each other at all. I suppose it will have to be the gas oven in the end, one can’t bear more than a certain amount of unhappiness.’
‘The book is doing well I’m glad to say, has had very good notices already… Everyone thinks your cover too good, a dreadful man said to me, “I must buy your book, it has such an amusing cover.”… I’ve just spilt a mass of ink on Muv’s favourite carpet and am sitting with my foot on the place hoping she won’t notice. She will soon of course. Oh dear.
‘They have been simply too odious lately, and had a fearful row the other day ending up by accusing me of drinking. I must say I do go to awful sorts of parties so I’m not surprised they are in a state, but if one can’t be happy one must be amused don’t you agree. Besides I always have John [Sutro] to chaperone me. I must go and take the dogs for a walk. P.S. The gas story is quite true, it makes Robert [Byron] laugh so much.’
28th March, 1931: ‘If I can pass the tests etc I have been engaged to act in a film in Kashmir, leaving London for three months at the end of May… I expect I shall be longing to see a human face by then, as my co-actors, the ones
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