Read Online My Zombie Hamster by Havelock McCreely - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Havelock McCreely
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murderous clown. “How can you even suggest that, Binky? I couldn’t do that!”
Needless to say, we’ve all been a lot nicer to Calvin today.
He’s been smiling a lot, though, which leads me to suspect some foul play. But I really don’t think it’s worth the risk finding out the truth, do you?
11:00 a.m . We’ve all been wondering when Dallas was going to try to scare us with his “deadbeat attack.” He told us that today we were going to learn about “defensive circles,” “minimizing our footprint,” and other things that sounded like incredibly hard work. But we all assumed this is when his crew (who we hadn’t seen since they left the camp yesterday) would stumble into our midst doing their best zombie impersonations.
In the meantime, Dallas was having a bit ofa hard time with our families back in Edenvale. When he confiscated all our phones yesterday, our updates to our families suddenly went silent. All at the same time.
You can imagine what they thought had happened. Dallas’s phone, which he only switched on this morning, has been bombarded with increasingly worried and then panicked calls from our parents.
Dallas gave our phones back in disgust, and ten seconds later all twenty of us were seated in a circle around the fire, heads bowed, updating our social networks and letting our families know we hadn’t been devoured by deadbeats.
Hmm.
Devoured by Deadbeats
. Cool name for a movie. Must remember that.
Anyway, it was while we all had our heads down that the “attack” came.
None of us noticed at first. I was checking out the movie sites, trying to find news on the latest
Star Wars
films. Charlie was on my right. She told me she was getting in touch with her comrades in the Undead Liberation Front, but I saw her phone. She was reading up on celebrity gossip. Calvin was playing Tetris, and Aren was actuallycatching up on his homework. I’m not kidding. That guy is an overachiever of note. If he’s not careful he’s going to overheat his brain. Kids our age aren’t meant to do that amount of work. Scientific fact.
So anyway, I was just about to click on a juicy bit of info about who was going to play the young Han Solo when I heard a low moan behind me.
I glanced over my shoulder and saw that a “deadbeat” had entered the camp and was shuffling directly toward us.
How typical! Dallas launches into his fake lesson just when he gives us our phones back! I wonder if he thought this was symbolic of something.
Well, I for one wasn’t going to be distracted. He was going to take our phones away again in ten minutes. It wasn’t fair of him to try to distract us now.
There was another moan from up ahead. A second deadbeat had entered the camp. I gave this one more than a quick look, because even I had to admit they’d done a good job with the makeup. It looked as if half its face had rotted away. Bone and sinew showed through the skin on its arms.
Not bad. Not bad at all. I swiped my finger across my phone screen, held it up, and took a photo.
None of the others had noticed yet. I nudged Charlie and nodded toward the zombies. She looked up and frowned.
“No,” she said. “No way. He’s only just given us our phones.”
You see? Me and Charlie, we’re on the same wavelength. That’s why we’re best buds.
More of Dallas’s crew, dressed up in zombie makeup, shuffled out of the trees. I remember thinking there were more fake zombies than there should be, but I just figured Dallas had more people hiding out in the forest and roped them in to scare us.
It wasn’t working, though. We were all too engrossed in our phones. Heads bowed, concentrating, while a circle of deadbeats slowly closed in on us, groaning and moaning.
One of the deadbeats got close and grabbed Charlie’s arm. She was yanked backward off her log, crying out in surprise. I whirled around and saw that this guy was really taking this joke thing seriously and was about to clamp his teeth down on Charlie’s
Needless to say, we’ve all been a lot nicer to Calvin today.
He’s been smiling a lot, though, which leads me to suspect some foul play. But I really don’t think it’s worth the risk finding out the truth, do you?
11:00 a.m . We’ve all been wondering when Dallas was going to try to scare us with his “deadbeat attack.” He told us that today we were going to learn about “defensive circles,” “minimizing our footprint,” and other things that sounded like incredibly hard work. But we all assumed this is when his crew (who we hadn’t seen since they left the camp yesterday) would stumble into our midst doing their best zombie impersonations.
In the meantime, Dallas was having a bit ofa hard time with our families back in Edenvale. When he confiscated all our phones yesterday, our updates to our families suddenly went silent. All at the same time.
You can imagine what they thought had happened. Dallas’s phone, which he only switched on this morning, has been bombarded with increasingly worried and then panicked calls from our parents.
Dallas gave our phones back in disgust, and ten seconds later all twenty of us were seated in a circle around the fire, heads bowed, updating our social networks and letting our families know we hadn’t been devoured by deadbeats.
Hmm.
Devoured by Deadbeats
. Cool name for a movie. Must remember that.
Anyway, it was while we all had our heads down that the “attack” came.
None of us noticed at first. I was checking out the movie sites, trying to find news on the latest
Star Wars
films. Charlie was on my right. She told me she was getting in touch with her comrades in the Undead Liberation Front, but I saw her phone. She was reading up on celebrity gossip. Calvin was playing Tetris, and Aren was actuallycatching up on his homework. I’m not kidding. That guy is an overachiever of note. If he’s not careful he’s going to overheat his brain. Kids our age aren’t meant to do that amount of work. Scientific fact.
So anyway, I was just about to click on a juicy bit of info about who was going to play the young Han Solo when I heard a low moan behind me.
I glanced over my shoulder and saw that a “deadbeat” had entered the camp and was shuffling directly toward us.
How typical! Dallas launches into his fake lesson just when he gives us our phones back! I wonder if he thought this was symbolic of something.
Well, I for one wasn’t going to be distracted. He was going to take our phones away again in ten minutes. It wasn’t fair of him to try to distract us now.
There was another moan from up ahead. A second deadbeat had entered the camp. I gave this one more than a quick look, because even I had to admit they’d done a good job with the makeup. It looked as if half its face had rotted away. Bone and sinew showed through the skin on its arms.
Not bad. Not bad at all. I swiped my finger across my phone screen, held it up, and took a photo.
None of the others had noticed yet. I nudged Charlie and nodded toward the zombies. She looked up and frowned.
“No,” she said. “No way. He’s only just given us our phones.”
You see? Me and Charlie, we’re on the same wavelength. That’s why we’re best buds.
More of Dallas’s crew, dressed up in zombie makeup, shuffled out of the trees. I remember thinking there were more fake zombies than there should be, but I just figured Dallas had more people hiding out in the forest and roped them in to scare us.
It wasn’t working, though. We were all too engrossed in our phones. Heads bowed, concentrating, while a circle of deadbeats slowly closed in on us, groaning and moaning.
One of the deadbeats got close and grabbed Charlie’s arm. She was yanked backward off her log, crying out in surprise. I whirled around and saw that this guy was really taking this joke thing seriously and was about to clamp his teeth down on Charlie’s
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