Read Online My Soul Cries Out by Sherri L. Lewis - Free Book Online Page A

teach the Word, and I was able to grow spiritually to the point where I could resist temptation. God gave me mentors who prayed with me and didn’t judge me. They kept loving me until I was able to stop. Has Kevin had that?”
    â€œI can’t believe you’re taking his side.” I glared at her.
    â€œI’m not taking his side.” Trina gave an exasperated sigh. “It just sounds like this lifestyle was unfairly forced on Kevin by him being molested as a child. Then he cried out for deliverance. His pastor acted like if he just stayed away from men, that would fix him, so that’s what he did. His pastor acted like if he just got married, that would fix him, so that’s what he did. He said he thought he was delivered. Who knows? He might have been just as surprised to find himself in bed with Trey as you were. He probably thought that chapter of his life was over, and he was looking forward to a wonderful, happy marriage like you were.”
    I rolled my eyes. “This is amazing. You’re supposed to be my friend.”
    â€œI am your friend. If you want me to dog him out and say all sorts of bad stuff about him, you know I’m not gonna do that. I don’t believe in condemning people when they’re struggling with something.”
    Why did I even bother to tell her?
    Trina got up and put the ice cream back in the freezer. “Remember when I went to the women’s group leader at Love and Faith to get help with my sexual issues? She said I could live holy if I wanted to, but I didn’t want to. Said I liked giving in to my flesh, and when I stopped liking it, I wouldn’t do it anymore. Was she there all those times I cried and felt like I disappointed God? Did she offer me any real help? No, she just said to cry out at the altar to God and then to repent, and I would be delivered. Did that work? No. I was right back in Marcus’s bed the next weekend.”
    â€œWhat does that have to do with Kevin?”
    â€œIt’s the same thing.”
    â€œSo you’re saying I should forgive Kevin and get back together and live happily ever after?”
    â€œI’m not saying that at all. I wouldn’t say that if he cheated with a woman. I’m saying in order for you to heal, you need to forgive. And it’s easier to forgive if you understand why someone did something. Most people don’t hurt us on purpose. It’s usually something inside hurting them that makes them hurt us.”
    I rolled my eyes. “Whatever, Trina.”
    â€œIf you can have compassion for Kevin, the abused little boy molested by someone he loved and trusted in the church, the teenager struggling with homosexual feelings and not being able to talk to anyone about it, the college-age Kevin getting his beloved choir snatched away from him, then the Kevin that cried out to God and thought he was delivered because his pastor refused to deal with the issue head on . . . if you can pity the little boy on the inside of him that’s still hurt and confused and betrayed and violated, then maybe you can forgive him and be free to go on with your life.”
    â€œYou’re right. I forgive Kevin, and all is well.” My words dripped with sarcasm. “You make it sound easy, and it’s not.”
    â€œI know it’s not. Just open your heart to God and let Him work healing and forgiveness in you.”
    Trina had been like this since she started going to her new church. It was impossible to argue with her because she always said what I imagine Jesus would have said in any situation. I knew she was right, but it wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
    She put our spoons in the dishwasher and gave the table a quick wipe-down. “I know. You’d rather me help you plot and scheme Kevin’s death.”
    â€œOr at least slashing his tires. I’ll get to the forgiveness part later, but can’t I just get a little revenge first?”
    â€œGirl,