Read Online My So Called Life (Love Not Included Series Book 3) by J.D. Hollyfield - Free Book Online
Authors: J.D. Hollyfield
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warm hand rests on my shoulder as he kneels next to me.
“Hey, honey, why don’t we pick out a pretty dress to wear,” he says.
“Okay. But can I keep on my crown? Mommy always lets me wear my crown.”
“Yes, baby. You can keep the crown.”
“I didn’t mean to make Kissy cry again,” she says to Ian, who looks over at me, concerned. I just shake my head.
“Okay, baby, why don’t you look for a dress? I’m going to help Chrissy get ready, too.”
“Okay.” And with that, she is off into her closet.
Ian helps me stand and leads me out into the hall. I rest my back against the wall and weep softly into my hands. I’m a horrible person. I totally failed my sister, and now it’s too late to say I’m sorry.
I feel Ian’s warmth as he wraps his fingers around mine and pulls my face free of my crying shield. Through my clouded eyes, I watch him take me in. That look again.
“Stop looking at me like that,” I sniffle, breaking the silence.
“Like what?” Of course, he asks knowing darn well what I’m talking about.
“Like you want to eat me for lunch,” I reply, trying to break the somber mood.
“Chrissy, I haven’t seen you in years. It’s hard not to take you in.”
“What do you mean, take me in? What’s wrong with me?” I ask, trying to wipe at the makeup I’m sure is leaking down my cheeks. I probably look like a member of KISS caught in rainstorm about now.
He steps closer and gently wipes off the lingering tears trailing down my cheek. “That’s always been the problem with you, Chrissy. There’s never been anything wrong with you. You’ve always been perfect.”
R ETURNING HOME AND BEING this close to Ian again has my emotions in turmoil. He was my first kiss. My first love. He was my everything at a time when I had nothing and every time I look at him a new memory flashes through my needy brain. Or my vagina region. I’m here to mourn the loss of my sister and between crying like a buffoon, I’m debating ripping Ian’s clothes off and letting him relive our high school days. It also reminds me of the passion missing from what I have or should I say had with Brent. The improper desires raging inside me for Ian guilt me for not making the official call to Brent. In my heart and mind I know it’s over, but it seems you have to spell it out to make it a done deal. Remembering this, I put a mental checklist to call Brent first chance and formally cut ties.
Right after I made a fool out of myself and he cut deeper into my wounded soul with his crazy but romantic words, I quickly excused myself to get ready. I attempted two doors, one being the closet, before he stepped in and assisted me to the bathroom where I could shower. Afterwards, Pippa and I gathered some photos and coloring pages she wanted to bring, while Ian fitted the car seat into his truck.
It was officially time to say goodbye.
Without putting too much thought into it, I allow Ian to comfort me while I sign all the necessary documents at the funeral home. The reality of what is happening hits me harder than I thought it would and Ian holds me as I break down before the visitation.
In the midst of all my grieving, I forgot that he also lost a family member in all this. His brave posture makes me lean into him more, melting into his strong embrace. I know it’s selfish. I shouldn’t lead him on. But just for a little bit, I’m going to pretend there is no other life waiting outside this little bubble.
Before the visitation began, Ian brought me over to meet John’s grandparents. Henry was not exaggerating at the condition of John’s grandpa. He insisted that I was his high school girlfriend, Grace, and attempted on more than one occasion to drag me away. Thankfully, Ian was close to me every time. John’s grandmother, Georgia, was exactly as she was described. And that was feisty. When I politely tried to shake her hand, she refused. And by refused I mean she smacked my hand straight outta her line of
“Hey, honey, why don’t we pick out a pretty dress to wear,” he says.
“Okay. But can I keep on my crown? Mommy always lets me wear my crown.”
“Yes, baby. You can keep the crown.”
“I didn’t mean to make Kissy cry again,” she says to Ian, who looks over at me, concerned. I just shake my head.
“Okay, baby, why don’t you look for a dress? I’m going to help Chrissy get ready, too.”
“Okay.” And with that, she is off into her closet.
Ian helps me stand and leads me out into the hall. I rest my back against the wall and weep softly into my hands. I’m a horrible person. I totally failed my sister, and now it’s too late to say I’m sorry.
I feel Ian’s warmth as he wraps his fingers around mine and pulls my face free of my crying shield. Through my clouded eyes, I watch him take me in. That look again.
“Stop looking at me like that,” I sniffle, breaking the silence.
“Like what?” Of course, he asks knowing darn well what I’m talking about.
“Like you want to eat me for lunch,” I reply, trying to break the somber mood.
“Chrissy, I haven’t seen you in years. It’s hard not to take you in.”
“What do you mean, take me in? What’s wrong with me?” I ask, trying to wipe at the makeup I’m sure is leaking down my cheeks. I probably look like a member of KISS caught in rainstorm about now.
He steps closer and gently wipes off the lingering tears trailing down my cheek. “That’s always been the problem with you, Chrissy. There’s never been anything wrong with you. You’ve always been perfect.”
R ETURNING HOME AND BEING this close to Ian again has my emotions in turmoil. He was my first kiss. My first love. He was my everything at a time when I had nothing and every time I look at him a new memory flashes through my needy brain. Or my vagina region. I’m here to mourn the loss of my sister and between crying like a buffoon, I’m debating ripping Ian’s clothes off and letting him relive our high school days. It also reminds me of the passion missing from what I have or should I say had with Brent. The improper desires raging inside me for Ian guilt me for not making the official call to Brent. In my heart and mind I know it’s over, but it seems you have to spell it out to make it a done deal. Remembering this, I put a mental checklist to call Brent first chance and formally cut ties.
Right after I made a fool out of myself and he cut deeper into my wounded soul with his crazy but romantic words, I quickly excused myself to get ready. I attempted two doors, one being the closet, before he stepped in and assisted me to the bathroom where I could shower. Afterwards, Pippa and I gathered some photos and coloring pages she wanted to bring, while Ian fitted the car seat into his truck.
It was officially time to say goodbye.
Without putting too much thought into it, I allow Ian to comfort me while I sign all the necessary documents at the funeral home. The reality of what is happening hits me harder than I thought it would and Ian holds me as I break down before the visitation.
In the midst of all my grieving, I forgot that he also lost a family member in all this. His brave posture makes me lean into him more, melting into his strong embrace. I know it’s selfish. I shouldn’t lead him on. But just for a little bit, I’m going to pretend there is no other life waiting outside this little bubble.
Before the visitation began, Ian brought me over to meet John’s grandparents. Henry was not exaggerating at the condition of John’s grandpa. He insisted that I was his high school girlfriend, Grace, and attempted on more than one occasion to drag me away. Thankfully, Ian was close to me every time. John’s grandmother, Georgia, was exactly as she was described. And that was feisty. When I politely tried to shake her hand, she refused. And by refused I mean she smacked my hand straight outta her line of
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