sitting
in their living room.
The judges hadn’t had any more than a passing
contact with me, so they had no idea who I was. The host looked at me a little
strangely. I’m sure he at least thought I looked familiar. Tristan introduced
me as a friend and just gave them my last name. I was thankful for the bright lights;
they kept me from really being able to see the audience that was looking at me.
I was going to have to completely forget about the cameras; every time I
thought about them zooming in on my face, my insides would quiver and I would
feel like I wanted to throw up.
“You ready?” Tristan whispered in my ear. I nodded.
He handed me my ear piece and I put it in. Then we both took a seat on the tall
stools that sat facing the microphones; we were seated facing each other. Tristan
strummed his guitar and then nodded at the musicians. I wondered if it was too
late to back out now.
I kept my eyes on Tristan’s face and when the note
was right, I opened my mouth and the words just came out. They came out clear
and in tone and I surprised even myself as I sang.
If
I should die before I wake. It's cause you took my breath away . Losing you is like living in a world with
no air, oh . . .
Tristan looked happy and when he opened his mouth
for his part, his lyrics came out beautifully as well.
I'm
here alone, didn't wanna leave . My heart won't move, it's incomplete . Wish there was a way that I can make you
understand.
After the initial lyrics, I forgot that I was on stage
in front of millions of people. It was like it was only Tristan and me again,
back in that group room at rehab. I forgot about the producers, the judges, and
the host. I forgot about the rest of the world.
When we got to the end of the song and we were singing
the chorus together I got the strangest feeling. It was a vibe from Tristan—one
that I’d never felt before. The only way it could be described was passion. He
was looking at me with real passion in his eyes. It was different that the lust
he usually gazed at me with…and I liked it.
As the music ended, I started to turn towards the
judges, but Tristan stopped me…with his lips. He kissed me in front of the
judges, the producers, my parents…and eight or ten million other people. It was
a soft, sweet kiss, and in my head, we were suddenly in a vacuum. It was void
of all the other people and all the troubles. It was just me and him and the
song we’d just sung.
When he stepped back, my whole body was tingling and
there was a white-hot flame burning in the pit of my stomach. I wondered what
the producers thought; then I realized that the best part was I really didn’t
care. I wished that he would do it again. His kisses had been filled with lust
up until then with sex being the end game for him. I hadn’t fooled myself that
it was anything other than that….until that moment. That one felt real.
The judges were on their feet, applauding us. When
the noise settled down, Diva said, “She’s amazing, Tristan! Where have you been
hiding her? I want to see more of you, sweetie. The two of you sing together
like angels. I loved it. That was the best of the night for me.”
The country singer simply said, “Best of the night
for me, too.”
The producer looked at Tristan first and said, “If
you learn how to manage yourself, you’re going to go far. Take this girl with
you.” I saw Tristan smile as we gave the audience a little bow and ran off the
stage. Molly had her eyes on the television set. She turned when she saw me but
I went around behind Tristan and out the door. I felt bad, but I still couldn’t
talk to her about it.
I went into the employee room to get my things, and
I probably should have still been worrying about what the producers were going
to do, but I just couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss. I decided that I needed
to talk to Tristan about it before I let myself make it more than it was. I
grabbed my purse and sweater and I went back out to find