that,â I said with irritation. âWould you like it if I called Kea a trick?â
âYou couldnât. Kea is a good girl. Zacariah, well, we know what sheâs done in the past. I still canât figure out why you took her back,â he said, taking another sip of his drink.
âThe fact is we are still together. If you keep doing what you are doing, Kea is going to get smart and leave you,â I said.
âSheâs not going anywhere,â Jaquon said arrogantly.
âKeep thinking that. Eventually, sweet, innocent Kea is going to retire you and find herself someone to take your position, if you get my drift.â
âNo one can fill my position, if you get what Iâm saying.â
âFunny, but please believe there is always another brother who will work harder at filling Kea up since you never seem to have time to do it yourself.â
Kea
The sun did beat Jaquon home. When I got up to get dressed for the day, he was not in bed next to me. My stomach felt like bees were buzzing around in it, stinging me every time I took a breath, but I couldnât cry. My tear ducts had dried up. I had been crying so much my eyes were swollen. I really couldnât open them much. They felt like weights were pressing down on them. Looking in the mirror in the bathroom, I stared at my reflection thinking, What is wrong with you? You are a beautiful woman and can do better than Jaquon. Why do you feel you have to stay with him?
I answered my own question speaking, âItâs because I love him.â
I watched my lips move, repeating those words over and over again. âItâs because I love him.â I didnât know why I loved him so much. All he did was hurt me. What did I do for him not to want to be with me? I really couldnât see myself without him. And I knew once those keys jingle in the door, I was going to be so happy he was finally home, thinking, He chose to come home to me. Whoever she was, it didnât matter because he still came home to me. However, it was the next day, and whoever she was, she had him all night while I slept alone.
Still staring at my reflection, I shook my head at my excuses. Itâs because I love him. The voice inside me said , When are you going to start loving yourself?
I shrugged, watching my shoulders almost touch my earlobes. I started to run some warm water in the white porcelain sink. I had to wash the residue of salty tears off my face which was incased by it, like I slept with a facial mask on all night. With pores tight, I dipped the washcloth in the soothing water and gently rubbed it across my face. With each stroke, I felt renewed. Afterward, I ran cold water over the cloth and placed it over my eyes to help with the swelling. I couldnât go meet my sister looking like this.
I didnât feel like being around my sister today. I was supposed to meet her at the bridal shop to try on my bridesmaid dress one last time before her wedding next Saturday. Instead, I wanted to crawl back under my blue cotton sheets and relax all day. I was in no mood to feel happy about her getting married to a great guy who owned his own home and had lots of money. Every time I went around her, she talked about how happy she was and how this had to be the wedding of her dreams. I knew I was supposed to be happy for her, but my life was not a cakewalk like hers. We lived totally different lives. I had issues going on and to see her breeze through life like things were peaches and cream disgusted me.
After showering, doing my hair, and eating a bowl of cereal, I began to get dressed. Soon as I snapped on my last bracelet, the phone rang.
âHello.â
âHey, Kea, this is Derrick.â
âI guess you calling to tell me Jaquon was with you all night.â
âYeah, he stayed with me. If you donât believe me, ask Zacariah when you see her next time. You know she will not lie for Jaquon. She canât stand
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