Read Online My Lost and Found Life by Melodie Bowsher - Free Book Online Page B

that douses everything and then is over. Sprawled on the sofa, I stared out at the rain and remembered what I had been avoiding for days—the memory of my mother on that lawn, sobbing and drenched, the night before she disappeared.
    â€¢ • •
    The argument had started when I came home from a night out with Scott and the gang. I was in a bad mood because Scott was pushing me on the whole virginity thing, and I just didn’t feel like doing it. I saw immediately that my mother had been waiting for me. For the last few weeks, she had been acting weird.
    Her first words were “I need to talk to you. I can’t wait any longer.”
    With an exaggerated sigh, I perched on the arm of the sofa. “All right, make this quick,” I said. “I’m tired.”
    She sat down on the sofa and reached over to take my hands in hers, but I pulled away, bored and ready to resist whatever she had to say.
    â€œYeah? What?”
    â€œSweetheart,” she began, and then faltered. “Oh, God, this is too hard. I don’t even know how to begin. I must have beencrazy not to see this day would come. Now I don’t know what I’m going to do or how to tell you.”
    â€œWhat’s wrong with you? Have you been drinking? Just say what you’re gonna say and let me go to bed.”
    â€œYou know how much I love you, don’t you? More than anything in the world.”
    â€œYeah, I know,” I said impatiently. “Get to the point. I’m not in the mood for this.”
    She stood up and began to pace around the room, talking feverishly without meeting my eyes. “The thing is, I’ve made some big mistakes and I’ve managed to put myself in a deep, dark hole. I don’t know how to get out of the mess I’ve created. I feel like my feet are stuck in quicksand and I’m being sucked down. God, I’ve been so stupid.” She drew a ragged breath and then went on when I didn’t say anything. “Money, of course, it’s always money. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but it’s going to mean big changes for both of us. I’m sorry, I really am, baby. We just can’t go on the way we have. I’ve put off telling you because I knew how disappointed in me you’d be. That’s the worst thing about this, knowing that I’ve let you down. We’re going to have to change our lifestyle, and it’s going to be very hard for both of us, but—”
    I interrupted this long flow of words. “What do you mean, ‘change our lifestyle’?”
    â€œWell, we can’t live this way.” She waved her hands around the room. “You know, spending money like there’s no tomorrow. If I can hang on to my job, I should be able to pay your tuition and school bills, but there won’t be anything left over for luxuries. To start with, I think you should get a job this summer.”
    At that I exploded. “A job? But I’m going to college soon—I want to enjoy my last summer of freedom. I’m supposed to relax and have a good time until I go to Boston.”
    â€œI’m sorry, Ashley, I can’t help it. I know this is a big disappointment for you. I know I’ve let you down. But it will be all right in the end; we’ll make it all right. And at least you have this trip to Hawaii. At least this year at school has been fairly easy for you.”
    â€œEasy? I just went through finals, for your information,” I sneered. “Besides, any pennies I could earn wouldn’t begin to pay for my clothes. Do you expect me to wear trash or shop at Old Navy? I need some fabulous new things to take to college with me this fall. No sorority will ask me to pledge if I look like a loser.”
    â€œI’m s-sorry, but I’m in trouble,” she stammered. “I wish this weren’t happening, but I don’t know what to do. Everything’s falling apart on me. I