Read Online My Hope Is Found: The Cadence of Grace, Book 3 by Joanne Bischof - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Joanne Bischof
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jaw. When he didn’t answer right away, he felt Tal watching him. Finally, Gideon drew in a chest full of air. He let it out slowly. “I ran into a bit of trouble.”
Tal twisted his mouth to the side. Waiting.
“It’s a really long story.”
“We’ve got the time.”
With a puff of his cheeks, Gideon rubbed at a splinter in his palm. Before he could change his mind, he blurted out the words. “I was married before Lonnie.” There was no sense pretending around Tal. No sense pretending around anyone.
Tal’s eyebrows shot up.
Suddenly warm, Gideon shrugged out of his jacket. He dropped it on the seat and rolled back the cuffs of his shirt until his undershirt poked outagainst his forearms. “To a girl I grew up with. Lonnie didn’t know about it. I didn’t tell her because it was supposed to have been annulled. But it wasn’t.”
Tal’s eyebrows shot higher. “How on earth …”
With a tug, Gideon pulled off his hat and tossed it between his boots. “This is why I needed to meet with the judge.” He glanced sideways at his friend. “Like I said, it’s a long story.”
“And like I said”—Tal nodded toward the snowy lane ahead—“we’ve got the time.”
Gideon wasn’t sure how he would tell the story of a selfish man who followed his pleasures, but the words began to come. He told of how, at one time, his lusts had included Cassie. At another, they’d included Lonnie. Never once had he glanced over his shoulder to see what his actions might cost him.
What they would cost others.
And yet, he’d continued down the path of destruction. Of selfishness. The path that led a man to lose everything he’d ever loved, only to gain what he hoped to lose forever. In that moment, he understood heartache.
Gideon then spoke of the yearning to care for those he’d hurt. That and how grace unfolded in the unlikeliest of places. The rest of his story.
His life.
“I didn’t deserve what Cassie gave me.” Gideon pulled Jacob’s knit cap from his coat pocket and turned it around in his hand. “She gave me my life back. She didn’t need to … yet still she did.” His shoulders felt burdened under the weight of that kind of goodness.
A goodness he would never come close to possessing. To repaying. Yet he was overwhelmed with the urge to try. Somehow. Someway. Chilled, Gideon leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, his son’s cap still tight in his grip. They rode in silence for several minutes.
Finally, Tal squeezed his shoulder, holding tight as if understanding lived in his grip. “That’s quite a story.” He pulled away. “Quite a life you’ve lived already. It sounds like you’ve learned some mighty important lessons through it all.”
“I sure hope so.” Overcome with the urge to run his hand over Jacob’s downy head, Gideon rubbed his palms together. “I keep thinking it ain’t over, though.”
“It never is,” Tal said, his face kind. Sober. “It never is.”
Gideon tugged his jacket into his lap and held it there, fiddling with a frayed cuff. “What if I can’t get back to them?” Chin to chest, his voice sounded small. “What if something goes wrong?”
“It may.” Tal nodded, as if aware of the possibility. “But … have you given any thought to the notion that maybe God has a plan? That maybe God already knows exactly how it’s going to work out? That what you or I may see as wrong may just be another part of that plan? As perhaps these last few months have been for you.”
Leaning back, Gideon slid his son’s cap back into his pocket. “I sure wish He’d tell me what His plan is then.”
Tal grinned. “Doesn’t really work that way.”
“I know.”
“Though it’d be easier if it would. Sometimes life just takes faith.”
“Faith.”
“And hard work to keep your mind off the rest.”
Chuckling, Gideon nodded. He was desperate for that kind of work. Anything to keep him from losing his mind at being so close to Lonnie and
Tal twisted his mouth to the side. Waiting.
“It’s a really long story.”
“We’ve got the time.”
With a puff of his cheeks, Gideon rubbed at a splinter in his palm. Before he could change his mind, he blurted out the words. “I was married before Lonnie.” There was no sense pretending around Tal. No sense pretending around anyone.
Tal’s eyebrows shot up.
Suddenly warm, Gideon shrugged out of his jacket. He dropped it on the seat and rolled back the cuffs of his shirt until his undershirt poked outagainst his forearms. “To a girl I grew up with. Lonnie didn’t know about it. I didn’t tell her because it was supposed to have been annulled. But it wasn’t.”
Tal’s eyebrows shot higher. “How on earth …”
With a tug, Gideon pulled off his hat and tossed it between his boots. “This is why I needed to meet with the judge.” He glanced sideways at his friend. “Like I said, it’s a long story.”
“And like I said”—Tal nodded toward the snowy lane ahead—“we’ve got the time.”
Gideon wasn’t sure how he would tell the story of a selfish man who followed his pleasures, but the words began to come. He told of how, at one time, his lusts had included Cassie. At another, they’d included Lonnie. Never once had he glanced over his shoulder to see what his actions might cost him.
What they would cost others.
And yet, he’d continued down the path of destruction. Of selfishness. The path that led a man to lose everything he’d ever loved, only to gain what he hoped to lose forever. In that moment, he understood heartache.
Gideon then spoke of the yearning to care for those he’d hurt. That and how grace unfolded in the unlikeliest of places. The rest of his story.
His life.
“I didn’t deserve what Cassie gave me.” Gideon pulled Jacob’s knit cap from his coat pocket and turned it around in his hand. “She gave me my life back. She didn’t need to … yet still she did.” His shoulders felt burdened under the weight of that kind of goodness.
A goodness he would never come close to possessing. To repaying. Yet he was overwhelmed with the urge to try. Somehow. Someway. Chilled, Gideon leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, his son’s cap still tight in his grip. They rode in silence for several minutes.
Finally, Tal squeezed his shoulder, holding tight as if understanding lived in his grip. “That’s quite a story.” He pulled away. “Quite a life you’ve lived already. It sounds like you’ve learned some mighty important lessons through it all.”
“I sure hope so.” Overcome with the urge to run his hand over Jacob’s downy head, Gideon rubbed his palms together. “I keep thinking it ain’t over, though.”
“It never is,” Tal said, his face kind. Sober. “It never is.”
Gideon tugged his jacket into his lap and held it there, fiddling with a frayed cuff. “What if I can’t get back to them?” Chin to chest, his voice sounded small. “What if something goes wrong?”
“It may.” Tal nodded, as if aware of the possibility. “But … have you given any thought to the notion that maybe God has a plan? That maybe God already knows exactly how it’s going to work out? That what you or I may see as wrong may just be another part of that plan? As perhaps these last few months have been for you.”
Leaning back, Gideon slid his son’s cap back into his pocket. “I sure wish He’d tell me what His plan is then.”
Tal grinned. “Doesn’t really work that way.”
“I know.”
“Though it’d be easier if it would. Sometimes life just takes faith.”
“Faith.”
“And hard work to keep your mind off the rest.”
Chuckling, Gideon nodded. He was desperate for that kind of work. Anything to keep him from losing his mind at being so close to Lonnie and
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