Read Online My Gym Teacher Is an Alien Overlord by David Solomons - Free Book Online Page B

they’re a real time-suck. I lost some of the best years of my life to something called
Half-Life
.” He looked dazed. “One minute I’m battling Vortigaunts at Black Mesa, and the next thing I know I’m picking tableware with your mother for our wedding registry.”
    I was too angry to hear him. All I knew was that he was selling my Xbox. “Is this because you need the money now that you’re unemployed?” It was a cruel thing to say, and I regretted it immediately.
    Dad’s face crumpled. He looked like he’d been struck by a super-aging ray. I tried to say sorry, but the words stuck in my throat. I fled to my room.
    I slammed the door and flung myself onto my bed, fuming at the injustice of the world. All of the people I trusted had let me down. No one in my life understood me or had any idea what I was going through. I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. The ticking of my Green Arrow alarm clock filled the silence. Although that wasn’t entirely true.
    There was one person.

The Wrath of Luke
    â€œYou want a what?” asked Christopher Talbot.
    It was nine thirty the following morning, and I was standing on the doorstep of Crystal Comics. I’d been hammering to get in since nine, which, according to the sign, was when it was supposed to open.
    â€œA job,” I repeated.
    He peered down at me with a wary expression. “If this was Victorian England and I had a blocked chimney, well then, a short, wiry boy like yourself? I’d hire you in a flash. But you’re what—six? Seven?”
    â€œEleven,” I said through gritted teeth.
    â€œEleven. Really? Makes no difference. There are things called employment laws. Good-bye.” He pushed the door shut.
    I shoved a foot in the narrowing gap. “Uh, you launched a rocket-powered super suit from a volcano in the middle of town and used a superpower-sucking machine on my brother, so don’t tell me you care about laws.”
    Christopher Talbot pursed his thin lips in displeasure. I sensed he was wavering. “And what’s more, according to that”—I pointed to the sign—“this place should have been open long before now. Your nephew quit. You don’t have anyone else. You need me.”
    His face was a mask. Not a supervillain mask—the other kind, that doesn’t give anything away. But I knew he was thinking seriously about what I’d said. I decided to sweeten the deal. “You wouldn’t even have to pay me,” I added. “So technically I wouldn’t be employed, which means you wouldn’t be breaking any laws.”
    I had to get this job. I needed it more than I’d ever thought possible.
    â€œI know that look,” said Christopher Talbot, fixing me with his TARDIS-blue eyes. “Seen it in the mirror a hundred times. You’re plotting something.”
    â€œYou’ve found me out,” I said, holding up my hands in mock surrender. I leaned toward him and whispered, “I want to take over the world.”
    He was suitably startled. Taking advantage of his surprise, I pushed past him into the store. He stood in the open doorway, tracking me like an automatic sentry gun. “This is some kind of trick, isn’t it?” He stabbed a finger at my Deadpool backpack. “You’ve got some sort of surveillance device in there, don’t you? This is entrapment, that’s what it is. Not that I’m planning anything villainous.
Whatsoever
. Got that, whoever’s listening to this?” He glanced out onto busy Main Street, scanning the passersby. “That annoying brother of yours sent you, didn’t he?”
    â€œMy annoying brother has nothing to do with me being here,” I said. “Well, he does, but not in the way you mean.” I’d found what I came for. Dumped on a shelf behind the counter was the chunky, oh-so-touchable shape of a video game console.
    I gazed into the black