pissed when I got home. I knew Larry’d be asleep, so I just slept on the sofa again. I think I made a bit of noise when I got home, ’cause I think Larry came out in his dressing gown. But maybe I only dreamt that, ’cause if he’d really come out, he’d have asked me to go to bed, wouldn’t he? And he didn’t, he just frowned, so I think it was just a dream.
Friday morning Larry was gone before I woke up. I felt really bad. Not just hung over. I felt like I wanted to smash something, and it scared me, ’cause I never feel like that. Work helped a bit, ’cause I had stuff to do, but my boss kept telling me not to look so bloody scary ’cause it was bad for business.
When I got back home, I remembered Ren was due. I didn’t feel much like painting or sketching or nothing, but then I thought, maybe if I painted something really good, Larry would like me again. So I worked really hard on it. I was just putting away my stuff when Ren came over to me. I’d thought he was getting his kit back on, but he hadn’t. He was still in the nude.
“Can I see?” he asked.
“Nah,” I said. “I don’t want no one to see it till it’s finished.”
Ren smiled. “I could make it worth your while.”
I was thinking about that, ’cause I thought he meant he’d pay me to see it, and that was really weird ’cause I was paying him to pose for me, and I thought the sums were going to get really difficult, and then he kissed me again.
I hadn’t realised till then how much I’d missed being kissed. Larry and me used to kiss all the time, but just lately we hadn’t kissed hardly at all. It was nice, the kiss was, and I guess I started kissing him back.
And then I thought about Phil, all upset because Leanne from Lidl was cheating on him, and I thought about Larry being all upset, and I wanted to smash things again. I pushed Ren away. I did it gently, though, ’cause I didn’t want to hurt him.
That was when I saw Larry was there, at the top of the stairs. I don’t think he must’ve called out or nothing when he came home this time. He had this look on his face that made my throat feel all tight.
“Let me guess,” he said really quietly. It sounded like his throat was hurting too. “It’s not what it looks like.”
I thought about that. What it must’ve looked like was me kissing Ren without his kit on. So I didn’t say nothing, ’cause that was what it was.
“I’m… I’ve got to go,” Larry said, and then I heard him running down the stairs.
“Oops,” Ren said.
Something went snap in my head, and I took a step forward.
Ren’s eyes went really big, and he walked backwards a bit. “Hey, calm down, all right? Look, I’m going.” He grabbed his clothes and started putting them on. I don’t think he noticed his T-shirt was inside out. “No need to pay me, okay? On the house. I’ll see myself out.”
He grabbed his shoes and ran down the stairs with them. I heard the front door go so quick he must’ve still not got his shoes on when he went outside.
I sat on the floor and looked at my picture of Ren. For a moment, I wanted to throw it out the window, but I thought Larry might be cross. So I just went downstairs and waited for Larry to come home.
I waited a long time. It got way later than Larry normally comes home. I’m not sure how late it got, ’cause in the end I fell asleep on the sofa, but Larry still never came home.
I didn’t feel like going in to work next day. I called my boss and told him I was sick. I thought maybe if I waited around the house, Larry would come back. I didn’t know what to do, so I called my mum, but she was working.
I didn’t know where Larry could’ve been. I thought maybe he’d had an accident or something and was in hospital or dead, and that was why he never came home. I didn’t know how you found out about stuff like that. I thought maybe I should ring the hospital or the police or something, but Larry and me, we’re not family or
Friday morning Larry was gone before I woke up. I felt really bad. Not just hung over. I felt like I wanted to smash something, and it scared me, ’cause I never feel like that. Work helped a bit, ’cause I had stuff to do, but my boss kept telling me not to look so bloody scary ’cause it was bad for business.
When I got back home, I remembered Ren was due. I didn’t feel much like painting or sketching or nothing, but then I thought, maybe if I painted something really good, Larry would like me again. So I worked really hard on it. I was just putting away my stuff when Ren came over to me. I’d thought he was getting his kit back on, but he hadn’t. He was still in the nude.
“Can I see?” he asked.
“Nah,” I said. “I don’t want no one to see it till it’s finished.”
Ren smiled. “I could make it worth your while.”
I was thinking about that, ’cause I thought he meant he’d pay me to see it, and that was really weird ’cause I was paying him to pose for me, and I thought the sums were going to get really difficult, and then he kissed me again.
I hadn’t realised till then how much I’d missed being kissed. Larry and me used to kiss all the time, but just lately we hadn’t kissed hardly at all. It was nice, the kiss was, and I guess I started kissing him back.
And then I thought about Phil, all upset because Leanne from Lidl was cheating on him, and I thought about Larry being all upset, and I wanted to smash things again. I pushed Ren away. I did it gently, though, ’cause I didn’t want to hurt him.
That was when I saw Larry was there, at the top of the stairs. I don’t think he must’ve called out or nothing when he came home this time. He had this look on his face that made my throat feel all tight.
“Let me guess,” he said really quietly. It sounded like his throat was hurting too. “It’s not what it looks like.”
I thought about that. What it must’ve looked like was me kissing Ren without his kit on. So I didn’t say nothing, ’cause that was what it was.
“I’m… I’ve got to go,” Larry said, and then I heard him running down the stairs.
“Oops,” Ren said.
Something went snap in my head, and I took a step forward.
Ren’s eyes went really big, and he walked backwards a bit. “Hey, calm down, all right? Look, I’m going.” He grabbed his clothes and started putting them on. I don’t think he noticed his T-shirt was inside out. “No need to pay me, okay? On the house. I’ll see myself out.”
He grabbed his shoes and ran down the stairs with them. I heard the front door go so quick he must’ve still not got his shoes on when he went outside.
I sat on the floor and looked at my picture of Ren. For a moment, I wanted to throw it out the window, but I thought Larry might be cross. So I just went downstairs and waited for Larry to come home.
I waited a long time. It got way later than Larry normally comes home. I’m not sure how late it got, ’cause in the end I fell asleep on the sofa, but Larry still never came home.
I didn’t feel like going in to work next day. I called my boss and told him I was sick. I thought maybe if I waited around the house, Larry would come back. I didn’t know what to do, so I called my mum, but she was working.
I didn’t know where Larry could’ve been. I thought maybe he’d had an accident or something and was in hospital or dead, and that was why he never came home. I didn’t know how you found out about stuff like that. I thought maybe I should ring the hospital or the police or something, but Larry and me, we’re not family or
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