Read Online Murdering Americans by Ruth Edwards - Free Book Online Page B

want—bedroom, bar, anywhere. And the same applies to the bars in town, if there are any….What?…Only two….Don’t be so sure I wouldn’t like them. It’s already clear our tastes are dissimilar. Give me a letter of authorisation tonight saying that the rules barring students are waived if they are accompanied by Lady Troutbeck. Is that understood?…Good. And by the way, has what’s his name?…yes, yes, Gonzales, sorted out my hunting needs yet?…No?…Tell him to get a move on.’
    Betsy, who had been industriously packing the groceries into the car boot, gazed at the baroness in awe. ‘Did you meet Dr. Gonzales when you visited with the Provost, Lady Troutbeck?’
    ‘Indeed I did. Ugly piece of work in more ways than one. And uncouth. Which is a criticism I rarely level at anyone, for obvious reasons.’
    ‘So you’re not scared of him?’
    The baroness snorted. ‘You have to show two-bit bullies like that who’s boss.’
    ‘Hey, you really know like how to kick butt, don’t you?’
    ‘Comes easily to Troutbecks. Does it come easily to…what’s your surname?’
    ‘Brown.’
    ‘Does it come easily to Browns?’
    ‘To some, but not others,’ said Betsy quietly.
    ‘You’re not one of the butt-kicking Browns, I surmise. Who is?’
    ‘Mom….Hold on, you’re getting in on the driver’s side.’
    ‘It’s very annoying this business of you Americans driving on the wrong side,’ grumbled the baroness as she walked around to the passenger door.
    ‘Don’t you drive on the right in Europe?’
    ‘No. Well, that is, we don’t in the United Kingdom. They do in the rest of Europe.’
    ‘So why don’t you change?’
    ‘Change is bad,’ said the baroness. ‘Unless it’s change I approve of, that is. And I don’t approve of driving on the right. Now get going. I can’t wait to eat some of that mortadella.’
    ***
    Replete, the baroness sat back and looked about her happily. Horace was nibbling contentedly on a fig, and Betsy was finishing a large plateful of antipasti with relish. ‘There now,’ said the baroness, ‘there’s more to eat in New Paddington than muck. Now if only I could persuade you to drink wine rather than Diet Coke….’
    ‘Oh, I do, Lady Troutbeck. I drink lots of things. But I can’t be seen doing it in public. And I wouldn’t like risk it when I’m driving a Freeman U automobile.’
    ‘So the rules are ignored?’
    ‘They totally are.’
    ‘But you told me no one disobeyed Gonzales’s rules.’
    Betsy looked at her warily. ‘There are some rules Dr. Gonzales minds about. And others he doesn’t seem to much. We party a lot here. Half the campus is wasted every night.’
    ‘Is it really? I thought it was completely dominated by prigs like the Provost. Perhaps Gonzales is a cavalier at heart.’
    ‘What’s a cavalier?’
    ‘I’ll spare you the historical background for now, Betsy. Essentially it’s someone who likes to enjoy himself.’
    ‘Or herself. I guess you’re a cavalier, Lady Troutbeck.’
    ‘You guess correctly. That’s why I often wear feathers in my hats. Now tell me, do cheerleaders participate in this Bacchanalia?’ She saw Betsy’s expression. ‘I mean do cheerleaders drink?’
    ‘Do cheerleaders drink? I can’t believe you asked that, Lady Troutbeck. You gotta be like totally kidding. Haven’t you read the paper?’
    ‘What paper?’
    Betsy looked shifty. ‘Sorry, nothing. Just papers like go on about students sometimes. Anyway, you bet students drink.’
    ‘Well, well. Who’d have thought it of such Barbie dolls.’ The baroness caught sight of Betsy’s expression. ‘Oh, sorry, Betsy, I didn’t mean you. That is, you may look like a Barbie doll, but you don’t talk like one. Except for your strange turns of phrase, of course.’
    Betsy laughed. ‘You’re just so like totally tactless, aren’t you?’
    ‘So people tell me. Can’t see it myself. Anyway, back to the cheerleading. So these Barbies drink. Are they looking