Read Online Murder on the Astral Plane (A Kate Jasper Mystery) by Jaqueline Girdner - Free Book Online Page A

“Love you too,” instead of declaring my intention to lay down my life for him if necessary.
    The doorbell rang before I could risk embarrassing myself any further.
    I waited, hoping Barbara would answer it.
    It rang again.
    “Bell,” Wayne whispered sleepily, his eyes closing.
    I was stomping down the hallway when Barbara yelled, “It’s for you.”
    Who did she think it would be for? I was all ready to yell at her as I came around the corner of the hallway into the foyer. Then I saw a better target, a much better target, standing on my front doorstep.
    It was my ex-husband, Craig.
     
     
    - Six -
     
    I opened my mouth to shout at the man I’d been married to for over a decade. And the man I hadn’t been divorced from for nearly long enough.
    His puppy-dog brown eyes widened in his groomed-for-success face.
    I hesitated.
    “I gotta talk to you, Kate,” he said, and he stepped into the house.
    I should have shouted.
    “Craig,” I began gently. “This isn’t the time—”
    “Please, Kate,” he begged. I looked around for Barbara. She’d disappeared again. Probably eating anything worth eating left in the kitchen.
    I hated it when Craig begged. It was even worse than when he told bad jokes. Almost. And the last time he’d begged like this was when he’d found his girlfriend’s corpse. The air from the open doorway cooled the damp skin on my forehead.
    “You haven’t found another dead body, have you?” I asked quickly.
    “No, have you?” he asked, guffawing loudly.
    Luckily, Craig was too absorbed in his own joke to notice that I hadn’t answered him, or that my heart rate had accelerated faster than Barbara’s Volkswagen. Once he’d quit laughing, he got serious and started begging again.
    “Kate, you gotta listen,” he told me. “Bonnie and I split up—”
    “I’m sorry about that, Craig, but there’s nothing I can—”
    “And I met this new woman, Nancy,” he plowed on, undeterred. “But she just isn’t you, Kate.”
    He turned his big brown eyes on me then with the same kind of intensity that had snared me umpteen years ago.
    “I’m not me , Craig,” I told him bluntly. “Not the me you think I am.”
    Somehow, those eyes just didn’t work on me anymore. Especially with Wayne sick just down the hall. In fact, any smoldering I was doing right then was more of the ready to ignite and blast variety.
    “You only decided you were in love with me after you left me, remember?” I reminded him.
    “But Kate—” he began. He must have seen the anger in my eyes. He threw his hands into the air and grinned. “Speaking of memory, did you hear the one about the guy who wakes up in a harem with a camel, a nun, and Newt Gingrich—”
    I plugged my fingers in my ears. Sooner or later he’d notice. When we were married, it’d usually been later than sooner, but still. Even if it was a good joke, I wasn’t in the mood.
    A hand tapped on my shoulder as I was humming my own version of “Moondance.” I jumped straight up into the air. Barbara was back. And not only had she scared me into orbit, I could hear my ex-husband again. He’d apparently finished his joke.
    “…ever wonder if you haven’t remarried because you know we belong together, Kate?” he was asking.
    “Out!” I ordered.
    Craig’s head shot back, his handsome face reflecting sensitivity as awkwardly as an actor reading new lines.
    “But—” he tried.
    “I’m a Scorpio, Craig!” I hissed with a step forward.
    He took a tentative step backwards, and swiveled his head to look behind him.
    “And worse, I’m an enneagram type five.” I added more menace to my voice as I took another step. I grimaced evilly.
    Craig spun around. He was almost out the door.
    “And I’m a murder type!” I shouted. It’s hard to shout in a whisper, but I did it.
    Craig was gone before I’d even closed my mouth, bolting through the doorway a lot faster than he’d come in.
    I shut the door quickly behind my ex-husband, then