Read Online Mrs. Lee and Mrs. Gray by Dorothy Love - Free Book Online Page A

bondage. Rumor has it that it was the recent eclipse of the sun that convinced him it was time to act. Clearly he is deranged.”
    “I quite agree, Andrew,” Mrs. Hale said. “The actions of one misguided slave won’t undo a system that has flourished for generations.” She glanced at me as if seeking my agreement, but I said nothing.
    “At tea this afternoon Mary and I were discussing the Colonization Society,” Robert said.
    “It’s a better alternative than an all-out war,” Captain Talcott said. “Though I realize many Negroes would have no wish to immigrate to a country where they have no family ties.”
    “Nor any way to support themselves,” his sister remarked. “Freedom would be the worst thing for the Negroes, even if they can’t see it that way.”
    “At least it would be the worst thing for them in America,” I said. “Until attitudes toward them soften more than they are at present.”
    “Of course we can’t simply herd them onto boats and set them upon the sea,” the captain said. “They first must be taught to do something useful. But under the right conditions, they would benefit. And so would America. A thriving Liberia would demand American trade goods. Not to mention missionary support.”
    “That would please Mrs. Lee,” my husband said. “She is experiencing a great cresting of spiritual feeling these days.”
    It was true, and it was said without malice or derision, but in that moment I experienced the cresting of an entirely different feeling. I got to my feet. “Please excuse me. I need some air.”
    I went outside and walked on the beach until my anger was spent. I sat on a half-rotted log, my chest aching with remorse, watching the waves breaking on the rocky shore and fearing for the future of my marriage. It was much easier to love someone from a distance, when letters were the only source of communication and one could take the time to choose the right word or phrase. Living together day to day in such close proximity magnified the differences between Robert and me. Still, I regretted having been so quick to judge him.
    Down the beach a torchlight appeared. Hoping it was Robert coming for me, I got up, ready to apologize for my intemperate behavior. But it was only a fisherman, who passed me without a word. At last there was nothing to do but go home.
    The house was dark when I let myself in. Cassie was sound asleep on her pallet outside the bedroom. I undressed in the dark, slipped into my nightdress, and slid into bed. I closed my eyes, though I didn’t expect sleep would come anytime soon. I hated quarreling with anyone, most of all my new husband.
    “So you’ve come home at last, Mrs. Lee.” Robert drew me close until I lay pressed tightly against him.
    “Where else could I go?”
    “I am deeply sorry for my remark at dinner. I ought not to be so sensitive to your worries about the state of my soul. My conduct tonight was not that of a gentleman, and I beg your forgiveness.”
    “I’m sorry I ran out on you. It must have been embarrassing.”
    “It was. But I had it coming.”
    “I thought you might come looking for me. I hoped you would.”
    “You needed to be alone to sort things out. Did you?”
    “Not really.” I propped myself up on one elbow. “What if we have made a grievous mistake?”
    “You regret marrying me already, Molly?”
    “No, I regret that I seem always to disappoint you.”
    “That isn’t true.”
    “It is true. I have seen the way you frown when our rooms are not as tidy as you would like. Or when we are going out somewhere and you think I am not as well dressed as I should be. I cannot be like you. Always perfect, always punctual.”
    He sighed. “I don’t mean to be critical. And I don’t know that I can ever overcome my propensity for order and methodology. I will try, sweetheart, but don’t expect miracles in my case. Leave something to time.” He drew me close and kissed me. “I do love you so, Mary Anna. Am I